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[Fe] Extraverted feeling - I don't get it.
- Thread starter phoenity
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Halla74
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I'm all ears. Bueller???
Jeremy
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So, basically, extraverted feeling is when you pick up on social cues and base your understanding of issues on external values. This doesn't mean that you don't have a core value set - it's just a way of judging the world. Things "should" be this way, just because thats "how it should be". Many people view extraverted feelers as having very changable views, but in reality, they have a "vision" of how external society should be, and their values try to make both themselves and others more in line with that vision. By that means, they also have an internal set of values that are bolstered by Introverted Feeling in the shadow processes.
I'm not an expert, but that's my understanding of it anyway.
I'm not an expert, but that's my understanding of it anyway.
Jeremy
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Hey, not true! Both are necessary, and YOU HAVE THEM IN YOU. MUAHAHAHA.
But yeah, really, Fe is often needlessly demonized. It's not a "fake" way of living life, it's just a way of living it.
Lady_X
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supposedly my fe is pretty high...i don't really know what it means either though.
i do like social harmony...does it have something to do with that sort of thing? making sure everyone in the group is feeling content...happy with things?
i do like social harmony...does it have something to do with that sort of thing? making sure everyone in the group is feeling content...happy with things?
Giggly
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Hey, I resemble that comment.
Jeremy
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It can be that way, or it can be making sure that the group is going in ANY direction that you want it to go. If you want, for instance, to get people to go skating with you, you'll use Fe as a means to convince people to go. "But it's important to me, come on guys, you're not being fair! We should go because it's fun!" Fe is not excluded from being selfish just because it's an extroverted function
entropie
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Maybe this helps, I dont understand it myself. Substitute SLI with ISTP:
[edit] 4. Extroverted ethics
SLIs feel insecure and tense in situations with loud emotional displays — whether positive or negative— as well as in any situations expecting vocal displays of feelings and passions. Therefore, SLIs try to ignore anything relating to their vulnerable function. However, it becomes most prominent when they cannot properly organise the sensations, actions, and movements of their physical world. When this happens, they will feel hopelessness and extreme loss.
SLIs prefer to have lots of time to get to know people so that they can let out their hidden passions in a safe and friendly environment where no one will judge them. These passions are tender and must be treated with respect. If they are told they are not passionate enough or are too passionate, they will take offence and hide their emotions from that person in the future. They find it offensive when people assume things about their emotional state based on their expressions, because they find such inferences are too often wrong. Instead of explaining to the person how they are actually feeling, they will get annoyed and push the person away. If an SLI feels comfortable with a person, he can go on and on about his feelings, explaining them in-depth - not anything related to his present state but instead opinions about people he knows and, more often than not, what he finds irritating about them (which is perhaps related to ).
SLIs see no reason to get worked up about things. They tend to condemn people who do not control their emotional displays and "fly off the handle." They believe that people should think first about the effect their words and emotions will have on other people rather than just spilling out negative or potentially hurtful feelings as they feel like it. If someone has chewed them out in an emotional way just once, they tend to hold this incident against the person for years. To them such behavior is unnecessarily demeaning and malicious.
SLIs extremely dislike socialising (particularly amongst large groups) because they are incapable of creating and sustaining a wide range of emotions for people. They are also quite unable to deal with the painful and complicated job of organising the unpredictable emotions that they can receive from so many people at any one given time. Consequently, SLIs are often reclusive and socially unengaged despite being rather comfortable around a few people they have learned and when having one-on-one conversations on subjects that they knowledgeable.
[edit] 4. Extroverted ethics
SLIs feel insecure and tense in situations with loud emotional displays — whether positive or negative— as well as in any situations expecting vocal displays of feelings and passions. Therefore, SLIs try to ignore anything relating to their vulnerable function. However, it becomes most prominent when they cannot properly organise the sensations, actions, and movements of their physical world. When this happens, they will feel hopelessness and extreme loss.
SLIs prefer to have lots of time to get to know people so that they can let out their hidden passions in a safe and friendly environment where no one will judge them. These passions are tender and must be treated with respect. If they are told they are not passionate enough or are too passionate, they will take offence and hide their emotions from that person in the future. They find it offensive when people assume things about their emotional state based on their expressions, because they find such inferences are too often wrong. Instead of explaining to the person how they are actually feeling, they will get annoyed and push the person away. If an SLI feels comfortable with a person, he can go on and on about his feelings, explaining them in-depth - not anything related to his present state but instead opinions about people he knows and, more often than not, what he finds irritating about them (which is perhaps related to ).
SLIs see no reason to get worked up about things. They tend to condemn people who do not control their emotional displays and "fly off the handle." They believe that people should think first about the effect their words and emotions will have on other people rather than just spilling out negative or potentially hurtful feelings as they feel like it. If someone has chewed them out in an emotional way just once, they tend to hold this incident against the person for years. To them such behavior is unnecessarily demeaning and malicious.
SLIs extremely dislike socialising (particularly amongst large groups) because they are incapable of creating and sustaining a wide range of emotions for people. They are also quite unable to deal with the painful and complicated job of organising the unpredictable emotions that they can receive from so many people at any one given time. Consequently, SLIs are often reclusive and socially unengaged despite being rather comfortable around a few people they have learned and when having one-on-one conversations on subjects that they knowledgeable.
Lady_X
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oh...yeah, i've probably been guilty of that.... like salesman mode??
but as an enfp i guess i use fi more....anyway...where's pink she's got the fe lightning waltz going on...she should be able to tell us all about it.
but as an enfp i guess i use fi more....anyway...where's pink she's got the fe lightning waltz going on...she should be able to tell us all about it.
SuperServal
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I guess that Fe is the INFJ secondary function. When I first read about Fe it made my group interaction personality make a lot more sense to me.
If I'm thrown into a group of people that I do not know, I have to watch how they all interact before I become part of anything. So I'm usually very quiet at first just observing the social cues. Once I feel comfortable enough with the group dynamics then I jump in. I always saw myself as using Fe as a way to easily get to know people. If I act how I think they want me to act and use Fe to appeal to them then I can try to move beyond that. I don't like to seem too off putting to people at first. Only when I get to know someone rather well I feel like I can drop the more "superficial" side of Fe and be more myself.
....though that side of Fe isn't *not* myself either I suppose...
If I'm thrown into a group of people that I do not know, I have to watch how they all interact before I become part of anything. So I'm usually very quiet at first just observing the social cues. Once I feel comfortable enough with the group dynamics then I jump in. I always saw myself as using Fe as a way to easily get to know people. If I act how I think they want me to act and use Fe to appeal to them then I can try to move beyond that. I don't like to seem too off putting to people at first. Only when I get to know someone rather well I feel like I can drop the more "superficial" side of Fe and be more myself.
....though that side of Fe isn't *not* myself either I suppose...
Moiety
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Necessary??What does society know about what is necessary?!
*enters berserk frenzy*
Hmm said:
It wasn't as complicated as some of the descriptions were making it sound. I like the above description better.
Here's a thread with lots of discussion on Fi vs Fe for those interested.
What is Fi? What is Fe? - INTJ Forum
tibby
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from the forum:
"Fe is the lava that boils out.
Fi is the fire inside that started it all.
Fe sings.
Fi composes.
Fe asserts itself.
Fi just IS.
Fe is the bird.
Fi is the song.
Fe is contagious.
Fi is seductive.
Fe feels for others.
Fi feels for self.
Fe resounds.
Fi resonates.
Fe is the smile that leads to the kiss.
Fi is the butterfly in your chest that led to the smile.
Fe makes decisions based on values.
Fi makes decisions based on PERSONAL values.
Fe reaches out.
Fi pulls in."
"Fe is the lava that boils out.
Fi is the fire inside that started it all.
Fe sings.
Fi composes.
Fe asserts itself.
Fi just IS.
Fe is the bird.
Fi is the song.
Fe is contagious.
Fi is seductive.
Fe feels for others.
Fi feels for self.
Fe resounds.
Fi resonates.
Fe is the smile that leads to the kiss.
Fi is the butterfly in your chest that led to the smile.
Fe makes decisions based on values.
Fi makes decisions based on PERSONAL values.
Fe reaches out.
Fi pulls in."
nanook
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phoenity, i dont know if you are istp (an introverted sensorical perceiver=Si) or TiSe but for the moment i will asume that you are an introverted sensorical perceiver:
istp value loyality dont they?
loyality as in getting your hands dirty for your friends.
(dirty means, that you may break your personal values, in favor of relational values)
such loyality is all about Fe.
(introverted sensorical peceiver (thinking) = SiTeNiFe)
you got got into an argument with an enfp about how much you care for people (quote "Lies!"), its a typical misunderstanding. like intp you either defend your weak Fe or hide it (to pretend invulnerability). but in any case, the Fe-caring is something different from what an enfp thinks of when he refers to his own Fi. (sympathy vs empathy)
such loyality is not to be confused with staying true to an aid that one has sworn (which would be an Fi or Ti interpretation of the word). like "just because this company became corrupt and morally bankrupt, doesnt mean i cant continue to work for this company in an upright honest and moral way, i have sworn to the ideals of the company, after all"
thats not to say, that xiTe and xiFe people dont value a steadyness in their course of action (as sworn once), but its more a strategical value (at least in introverted people) as it can seem very twisted to others, as it is situational. like when you claim "if this company doest stop its corrupt ways, i will retire in protest" and you will feel like you have to actually do this, even if it kills you.
i collect my notes in my blog
istp value loyality dont they?
loyality as in getting your hands dirty for your friends.
(dirty means, that you may break your personal values, in favor of relational values)
such loyality is all about Fe.
(introverted sensorical peceiver (thinking) = SiTeNiFe)
you got got into an argument with an enfp about how much you care for people (quote "Lies!"), its a typical misunderstanding. like intp you either defend your weak Fe or hide it (to pretend invulnerability). but in any case, the Fe-caring is something different from what an enfp thinks of when he refers to his own Fi. (sympathy vs empathy)
such loyality is not to be confused with staying true to an aid that one has sworn (which would be an Fi or Ti interpretation of the word). like "just because this company became corrupt and morally bankrupt, doesnt mean i cant continue to work for this company in an upright honest and moral way, i have sworn to the ideals of the company, after all"
thats not to say, that xiTe and xiFe people dont value a steadyness in their course of action (as sworn once), but its more a strategical value (at least in introverted people) as it can seem very twisted to others, as it is situational. like when you claim "if this company doest stop its corrupt ways, i will retire in protest" and you will feel like you have to actually do this, even if it kills you.
i collect my notes in my blog
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