Well, this is the age old dilemma right here, isn't it? One sees the forest and not the trees, and the other sees the trees but not the forest.
You look at SFP and see shallowness, and desire something unseen and secret. I say that you're missing what's right in front of you, and pining for something that doesn't need to be. There is so much amazing to see, hear, taste, smell, and touch in this mighty world we've been given. You don't need to go searching for hidden secrets, when there's so much potential already there that you are ignoring.
Man, there's been so many books/movies made with this theme!
You make a good point, although this is a hate thread I'm not overly anti towards them. I have an ESFP work colleague who I consider a friend, unfortunately she talks only about a few subjects (normally about celebrities or her most recent night out) and little else. I do enjoy her company if I don't seek much else conversation wise because I will get little else. I often want to go beyond first gear though and if I try to with her she will passively listen to me waffle on about a subject but certainly not follow up on anything I have said or any advice or insights I may have given. It's very much her way and really that's mostly all she does and from what I've seen in society what other ESFPs do. If she or another ESFP went mountain climbing or hiking for instance then I would accompany them and probably enjoy it but they don't. There's no surprise hobbies or extra layers for me to investigate, there is just that which is already presented. There just is not that much for me to "see, hear, taste, touch and smell" in the whole experience and that's what normally bores me in the end.
There are so few of us that care about typology, and it is a shame. Sometimes I question my type because I relate to very few of the stereotypes, but if I had to think of some things about myself as an ESFP that could be considered negative, here you go:
-I SOMETIMES TYPE LIKE A LUNATIC TO EXPRESS MY RAGING ENTHUSIASM!!!!
-I am mostly concerned with pleasure and fun, and have a hard time controlling my impulses.
-I really do hate philosophical talk after a certain point. I don't mind DEEP conversation, but perhaps what we consider deep is quite different. I will talk an interesting subject into the ground (in my case, rarely involves celebrities or whatever other shallow subjects I'm supposed to be interested in), but if there is no way of proving any of it, then I will have little interest in the topic. Also, metaphysical talk makes me severely uncomfortable. I think about stuff that isn't tangible sometimes, but that is usually when I consider myself "in the grip" of Ni and it is not pleasant. If I ever actually voice my "Ni thoughts" I usually sound neurotic.
-Someone mentioned being prone to anxiety/panic. That is definitely true in my case, and I think it may have something to do with the enneagram as well, in my case, 7ness. Being left to myself with nothing to do and no one to bounce ideas off of for long periods of times can cause intense anxiety and discomfort. Also, being Se dominant makes it almost painful to stay inactive for extended periods. I took a desk job for about a month and it sent me into a terrible grip of Ni. I have worked at dead end fast food jobs (where I at least get to move around and talk to people) for years before finally calling it quits, but I couldn't stay in that cubicle for more than two months; it was suffocating.
-I do not like discussing serious topics because they make me uncomfortable, and feelings in general make me uncomfortable, particularly negative ones. I have been known to make a joke about everything.
-Although I am always on time and in attendance at work, when it comes to personal meetings, I am usually late. Also, my room and car are filthy. I detest menial tasks and chores.
-In the past, I have been kind of a jerk, romantically, though I am working on that.
Now, I only know one other confirmed ESFP, and she is somewhat stereotypical. She is very overly concerned with interpersonal relations and can't stand being alone. She is kind of lazy, tends to take advantage of guys who are attracted to her, bossing them around and what not, but then she is just as easily manipulated as well. She isn't much of an intellectual, though she's not stupid. She is kind of obsessed with Facebook. On the brighter side, she is very loyal to her friends, has a beautiful heart, and she's really fun to be around. On the less bright side, she seems to be equally loyal to every one of her hundreds of friends. She can't stand to know someone who is not her friend.
ESFP's are base animals and literal soul-eating vampires. They only reason they seem interested in you is due to selfish compulsion and they'll go to any length, they'll say and do anything, in order to get you emotionally invested in them. The moment you do, they lose all interest and move on, having their ego sated (which is the only thing they care or can think about).
Stay FAR away, particularly if you're an introvert-type with confidence issues. They'll chew you up and spit you out. Worst of all: they don't even realize what they're doing is harmful, because they are unable to form any logical thoughts that don't immediately serve achieving their selfish, short term goals. Also all of them are bipolar to a lesser or greater degree.
Little INTP slowly tries to make his way to his computer. His extreme physical weight makes it much harder for him to navigate properly across the room's floor, littered with empty Mt. Dew bottles and all kinds of various dragon dildos. He seats in his dirty and run-down chair, which groans at the shock of his 200, extremely heavy pounds bearing down on it, and presses the start button on his outdated computer. As his computer boots up with a humming sound, INTP picks up a dossier from the trash-littered floor and examines it. It's his trusty old manual made by the Supreme Gentlemen’s International Defense Force, containing various instructions for debate with unenlightened religious troglodytes in online forums. He proceeds to open the dossier with his fat, and very smelly hands. One of INTP's fat arms accidently knocks down one of his countless empty Vaseline tubes, and underneath exposes an old picture which he had long forgotten. INTP was utterly surprised to see it was still there. "Oh Miranda, you dirty ESFJ Sensor, why wouldn't you love me?" INTP whimpers under his heavy breath. Suddenly, all of his repressed and painful memories back from high school return to INTP. Being rejected by his love, her filthy Christian friends laughing at him, him starting to cry and running off like so many times before. To this day he remains a bitter and hate-filled virgin. He always blamed the ESFJs for his own failures. "I don't need this stupid Sensor anyway, or any inferior extroverted ESFJ girl for that matter," INTP bitterly mumbles, filled with his own impotent anger, and proceeds to throw the picture of Miranda into the trash, which is already filled to the brim with used Kleenex tissue papers. Finally logging into his computer, INTP is greeted by his home wallpaper, consisting of a huge fedora. After discovering the Internet, he soon found an outlet for his repressed sexuality, by tipping his fedora to fat whores over his webcam. He wanted to approach Carl Sagan about his feelings, just so he could lose his virginity before he turned 25. Still, INTP had not found the courage to talk to Carl Sagan, or anyone except for his father, DJ Arendee, after he finished high school, for that matter. "I always just wanted to get tipped with your fedora, Carl Sagan," he sighed. INTP opens up his outdated Internet Explorer, and searches on Bing for Typology Central's "Religion and Philosophy" subforum. Suddenly, he remembers his father's words. He always told him to get a job in architecture, or become a gym-owning entrepreneur like him. "Get a goddamned job, worthless zombie slave," he would shout vehemently. But he just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand how utterly important it is to protect logic and reasoning from these scumbag Theists and ESTP skinheads on the Internet, whose ultimate goal it is to wipe him off the map. INTP now begins to type on his keyboard. "Fucking racist Theists, listen up here..." After a short time of posting on Typology Central, INTP is sweaty and frustrated yet again, like so often before. "Fucking Christian scum!" he aggressively yells at his computer monitor. INTP is so upset that he actually knocks his Neil Degrasse Tyson figure off his desk. Little INTP sniffs his tears away and forces himself to calm down for a little while. "I'm sorry, Tyson," he says. INTP then turns to his wall, which he has covered in Mountain Dew, Doritos and fedora posters. In the midst of this most unholy mess is a framed picture with the arched words "We are made of starstuff." Now, INTP euphorically salutes his wall, and with a burning passion for logic and reasoning in his heart, sitting in his mom's basement, he types endlessly. "Oh, you goshdarn Christian Theists..."
My ISTP s.o. lent his electric bass to an ESFP (possibly ISFP, but probably E). This ESFP disappeared and avoided the ISTP for forever, until one day he finally confessed that he had allowed his controlling ESFJ girlfriend to sell the bass for money.
By proxy, since my ISTP s.o. has pledged his livelihood and his earnings to me, I have lost approximately $600 worth of merchandise to an ESFP.
Basically, I always think they're like me until they get avoidant and/or butthurt...and then I get annoyed.
Our assistant at work I'm sure was an ESFP. She has just left and she was the most unprofessional employee ever. Absolutely could not meet deadlines. She took about a months sick leave 2-3 days a month over the year she was there. Would spend half her time at work doing not work related things, on FB, chatting to people not about work, she literally would spend 2 hours a day colouring in drawings at her desk (not kidding and she was mid 20s) until my boss told her to stop doing it. But still after that could not meet deadlines (like she was given a list of 5 tasks 2 weeks in advance and reminded of due dates 3x and told to prioritise these ahead of other work - NOT ONE of the tasks was done on time, all at least a week late). My boss told me he basically encouraged her to leave which she did thank god. Spent a heap of time chatting to staff, constantly chattering all day which meant that it was hard for the rest of the team to get things done. Also terrible at organisation because she always left work to be done at the last moment so the quality of her work was poor.
Nice enough girl but a nightmare as an employee (I say this as I wasn't her boss but senior to her so if she didn't do her work I ended up having to do it for her) and just brought a heap of chaos to our team. So no thanks I don't want an ESFP in our team again!