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  1. #21
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    I'm very sorry this happened to you. As someone who identifies as Muslim herself, this kind of ignorant thinking and behaviour disgusts me. I had a lot of terrible experiences when I was living in Pakistan.

    I test equally ENFP and ESTP and have a harder time opening up than most ENFPs.

    I find that in situations where I was hurt or abused I get angry at myself for not being stronger or handling it better. I would tell your sister that you admire her strength and you know she's going to be okay (even if you don't). Feeling like someone believes they are as strong as they are trying to be can really uplifting for an ESTP in a bad place.

  2. #22
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    That's the way to do it, absolutely, let her initiate the conversation and then say a word here or there as she is at a stopping point. In times like this I know I would not listen, until I had first been heard.
    Yes, I got that impression when I was speaking to her the day my sister brought her over.

    I totally understand about letting a person speak when they are ready.

    I'm just going to let her know she has options right now, the option to come stay here, if she wants to talk about it she can, if she doesn't then she can take her time, it's all good as long as it's what she needs.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  3. #23
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    I'm very sorry this happened to you. As someone who identifies as Muslim herself, this kind of ignorant thinking and behaviour disgusts me. I had a lot of terrible experiences when I was living in Pakistan.

    I test equally ENFP and ESTP and have a harder time opening up than most ENFPs.

    I find that in situations where I was hurt or abused I get angry at myself for not being stronger or handling it better. I would tell your sister that you admire her strength and you know she's going to be okay (even if you don't). Feeling like someone believes they are as strong as they are trying to be can really uplifting for an ESTP in a bad place.
    I saw the written across her face when she almost cried over it, a few tears rolled down and you could see how upset she was with herself for letting even that much pain show for a second. I felt so bad for her.

    I did tell her that I had faith in her.

    It sounds like I pretty much said the right things in this case.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  4. #24
    Senior Member me_plus_one's Avatar
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    It's really hard for me to give you an advice, because my typical reaction in such a case would be to spill it all out and not to close myself to others.

    However, I am pretty sure that no ESTP would stand the ESTJ big-sister situation.

    I think you did the right thing overall!

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