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[ISFP] The Official Nobody Hates ISFPs Thread

Poki

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One simple word

Jealous
 

Kasper

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Not true, I hate them this much

tender-2.jpg
 

wolfy

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I can't stand them. What a bunch of hippies. Pay attention slack asses!
 

King sns

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always sitting happily around fires with guitars and stuff.
minding their own business!
Don't they know that there are wars to be fought and overtime to be worked and wives to argue with?!! What a waste of the world's time.
 

Jeffster

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But I hate this thread. And Jeffster. Yes, dieplz!

Awww..does flubbie need a hug? :hug: :cheese:

As long as they aren't two-faced with you, they are alright, :D

Two-faced is about the one thing I never am. I'm sometimes utterly stupid and other times frickin lazy, but I'm never two-faced.

They're my favourite type.

:wubbie:

Not true, I hate them this much

tender-2.jpg

*tickle tickle tickle tickle* :D

Don't they know that there are wars to be fought and overtime to be worked and wives to argue with?!! What a waste of the world's time.

Been there, done that...in fact, I'm still doing the overtime thing. :doh:
 

Domino

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ISFPs will always inhabit that last wild place. It's enviable.
 

Azseroffs

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I dislike one ISFP but only because she thinks im an asshole or something without getting to know me..

use your Se a little more and your Fi a little less plz..
 

Quinlan

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Haha Pecan, some fits, some doesn't , very amusing nonetheless.

Dogs make much better people than people do. :D
 

wolfy

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I have to admit...
That's a pretty good description of my negative traits pecan.

I hate you now and will never again eat pecan pie. If somebody offers me pecan pie I will give them a look of disgust but no reasons.
 

Jeffster

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pecan, it would take me awhile to go through that line by line (and I'm way too lazy :laugh:) but you certainly did hit on some of the negative traits I have seen in myself. Some of what you put there I don't think is at all specific to ISFPs and some things you pretty much said we can be either side of.

I feel like I am a very approachable person and a likeable person, and somebody who will be open and honest with you and share of myself whatever you want me to. But I do realize that sometimes I expect another person to make an effort to get to know me when I don't always make that effort myself. I am getting better about this, asking questions of people and really listening and trying to understand people and not always expect them to be the ones that reach out to me. It is hard, though. I feel like most of my life I have always had to be the one to keep relationships going, that other people don't keep in touch with me, don't invite me to things, and assume I don't care about anything, even though I do care deeply.

"-want to be liked and loved but won't risk intimately alot of the time"

Yeah, that one jumped out at me, too. I think once you have been told by more than one person "I love you and I'll always be there for you" and then betrayed, it starts to become hard to trust people. When my parents were divorcing, they would tell me contradicting things where one of them had to be lying to me. It's a sucky realization when you are faced with knowing one or both of your parents, the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, are lying to you. I guess I am hurt pretty easily, but I have learned to embrace the pain as well as the pleasure, because every feeling is just as valid and just as necessary to fully experience life.

And all this reading about personality types in the last year has made me more aware than ever of my own flaws. I've found myself retroactively apologizing for not just myself but for other people of my type for acting the same childish unreasonable way sometimes. But I have to also give myself some credit for the efforts that I have made. I think I've become a better listener, and a better companion in general, because I am not just observing for my own amusement, but actually try to consciously learn from it.
 

Quinlan

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Ok my thoughts are in bold.

FIrst of all I want to say that I was typed 27 years ago and I have known quite a few ISFP's in my life. I also have a brother that is one..These are the types of things I see in them.

1-They either tend to look all soft and all, but I call it "the Great Sadness"...this version seems to be so depressed and scared and have some form of anxiety that permeates their personalities Not me

2-The other version tends to be very deadpan( they may be less preferential towards "F", not sure), but they can be very funny, but can cause enormous pain with others. This sounds more like me and I often test as a T

Version 2 is the type I can't deal with anymore. Some of the reasons why follow.
-refuse to state their feelings and allow others to GUESS all the time. I do think some of them live in a world of FEAR that keeps them frozen all the time.

I agree that I don't share my true feelings to pretty much anyone, sometimes I suppose if share them they seem less real/meaningful, othertimes it just feels impossible to share.

-expect others to JUST KNOW how they feel and give it to them(think this is a trait of feelers in general)

I don't expect people to know or care how I feel

-are hurt when they dont' receive what they expect, but you will pay absolute hell getting it out of them

Not sure what this means?

-conflict avoidant to the MAX and extreme (have a great friend whose son REFUSED to even sit down and talk to him about some issues going on in the household)

Agree, not sure what to say about this, wouldn't want to start a fight over it... ;)

-will put things and DOGS, especially, OVER people

Well who doesn't love dogs? :D but seriously I think a healthy individual will side with people

-will want a lot of weekend breaks , usually outdoors, BUT you must figure out that they supposedly want to spend time with you, BUT what I really think is that they want to experience nature AND not people

We can be largely unaware of how others feel and can feel like we're intruding if we ask, so that might be a reason for not saying "hey I'd really like you to come, do you want to come with me?" solitude can be nice but of course company is good for adventures

-(sorry, but its true a lot of the time)--LAZY!!!!, unmotivated

Well if something has a practical purpose, that makes sense to us we're as hardworking as anyone, don't like work for work's sake

-can't seem to understand that people will disappoint, BUT that they DISAPPOINT deeply

I don't expect much from others

-pay lipservice and will not follow thru- in other words, can be adroit liars and superficial people

Not me

-STILL waters DO NOT run deep

Harsh, depends on your definition of deep.

-good at being quiet, BUT NOT LISTENING...boy, this happens all the time

Guilty, one track minds I suppose

-want to be liked and loved but won't risk intimately alot of the time

True

-can be either good or LOUSy lovers

This doesn't tell me anything

-deadpan and boring-poker face to the max and you just can't get a feel for where they are at all

True, can take a loooong time to get to the bubbly goofball inside

-can be emotionally very dead once they give up, which you will likely never know because they won't tell you

True

-can be very selfish with their THINGS, but won't share themselves with others

Share myself? Icky.

-terrible at verbal communication

Thank goodness for writing (though we're generally not THAT great at that either

-i have known a few that were CHEATERS and very disloyal- others that were very loyal and were faithful

I'm very loyal and faithful

-have terrible attitudes about money...just either won't budget or won't compromise

Budgeting is boring, but I save well by being a tightarse (cheap).

-NEED kindness from others, but when you ask for somethign specific from them, they won't be kind in return

Disagree, I generally treat others how I'd like to be treated.

-can have serious issues with using others and lying

I don't

-won't fight for what is right or valued, will NOT stand up for family or anyone for that matter, but boy try and say no to their latest "toy" want

Our values may contradict traditional Fe values true.

-will refuse to apologize for hurts they caused, but boy, you sure are expected to bend for them

Not true, I think some of us over-apoligise

--sometimes strive for this inner ideal but won't care to do the work necessary to understand the monetary or social cost. they will decide this on a moment's notice sometimes and then expect you to foot the bill.

Need an example

-some are extremely insecure, but this is true with all types

Exactly

-can make themselves sick because of the avoidance tendencies.

True

--and lastly, they can absolutely HATE someone, but they will remain invisible and without opinion bec. they want you to think they actually like you!, when they don't- after all, who hates the UN-opinioned?

I couldn't imagine truly hating someone, let alone wanting them to think I like them. I can be friendlier to someone I don't like much, than someone else might but that's just me not sinking to their level.
 

simulatedworld

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Only complaint I can really think of is how some of you overcompensate for your introvertedness by acting unrealistically social at times. Like almost creepy overly social, too nice to be real.

I know it's well-intentioned, but it's a little weird.
 

wolfy

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I'm going to copy Quinlan and give my thoughts in bold.

I'm version 2 probably.

-refuse to state their feelings and allow others to GUESS all the time. I do think some of them live in a world of FEAR that keeps them frozen all the time.

I don't live in a world of fear. I often don't state my feelings because most feelings are fleeting and there is no need to wallow in them. They're on a need to know basis

-expect others to JUST KNOW how they feel and give it to them(think this is a trait of feelers in general)

Not me really. I tend to say what I want.


-are hurt when they dont' receive what they expect, but you will pay absolute hell getting it out of them

Not really. People have their own thing going on so if I want something I'll tell you.


-conflict avoidant to the MAX and extreme (have a great friend whose son REFUSED to even sit down and talk to him about some issues going on in the household)

No. I just feel you can talk till the cows come home it often doesn't make much difference. Just give it time.

-will put things and DOGS, especially, OVER people

I love people but dogs and things you can come and go to.

-will want a lot of weekend breaks , usually outdoors, BUT you must figure out that they supposedly want to spend time with you, BUT what I really think is that they want to experience nature AND not people

Yes. It's not about nature. It's about the experience.

-(sorry, but its true a lot of the time)--LAZY!!!!, unmotivated

Yes/No I'm motivated enough. But about the right things? I like what I like.

-can't seem to understand that people will disappoint, BUT that they DISAPPOINT deeply

I don't understand this.

-pay lipservice and will not follow thru- in other words, can be adroit liars and superficial people

No. Not at all.

-STILL waters DO NOT run deep

My waters are raging rapids.


-good at being quiet, BUT NOT LISTENING...boy, this happens all the time

I'm thinking or concentrating on something. Catch my attention.


-want to be liked and loved but won't risk intimately alot of the time

That's not a problem with people I care about.


-can be either good or LOUSy lovers

That's not for me to say.

-deadpan and boring-poker face to the max and you just can't get a feel for where they are at all

Yeah. Up and down.

-can be emotionally very dead once they give up, which you will likely never know because they won't tell you

Emotionally dead is wrong. I won't tell you is right.

-can be very selfish with their THINGS, but won't share themselves with others

No this is wrong

-terrible at verbal communication

Sometimes I'm on sometimes I'm off.


-i have known a few that were CHEATERS and very disloyal- others that were very loyal and were faithful

Probably nothing to do with type then.


-have terrible attitudes about money...just either won't budget or won't compromise

I can budget. I can spend too.

-NEED kindness from others, but when you ask for somethign specific from them, they won't be kind in return

No I'd rather give than take.

-can have serious issues with using others and lying

That's not me.

-won't fight for what is right or valued, will NOT stand up for family or anyone for that matter, but boy try and say no to their latest "toy" want

No. I'd kill for my family.

-will refuse to apologize for hurts they caused, but boy, you sure are expected to bend for them

No

--sometimes strive for this inner ideal but won't care to do the work necessary to understand the monetary or social cost. they will decide this on a moment's notice sometimes and then expect you to foot the bill.

No.

-some are extremely insecure, but this is true with all types

Not type related


-can make themselves sick because of the avoidance tendencies.

Not through avoidance but through immersion.


--and lastly, they can absolutely HATE someone, but they will remain invisible and without opinion bec. they want you to think they actually like you!, when they don't- after all, who hates the UN-opinioned?

There have only been a few times when I have truly disliked someone and I made it clear I didn't like them.

A lot of the negative traits sound like more of a maturity issue than type related.
 

King sns

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A lot of the negative traits sound like more of a maturity issue than type related.


Yea, I would say that most of the traits are inaccurate for isfp's. (I know a lot of them, too), I only see some of them being true for a few people.
 

ColonelGadaafi

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I love isfps, especially when i get to discuss Fi matters with them in Se, until we get to the point with animals and their value, in such cases they respond by violently twitching, proceeding to attack me with paint-brushes.
 

Jeffster

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..just realize most of you guys are VERY young and have little knowledge about type theory..its great to conceptualize and play with it, its entirely a different matter when you live and breathe for many years with it and watch your own development. This is very true of life...you cannot know until you EXPERIENCE it and live life for a longer period of time...
i am sure there are older individuals that think i am young, but when you are in your 20's...well, you will see later what I mean.

I'm 32, and Wolfy is 38.
 

King sns

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I'm 24. Too young to have developed a long list of negativities about any particular type, I guess.
 

pecan111

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I'm 32, and Wolfy is 38.

i was referring to the young lady...not you guys..

you two are still rather young men, with respect to type theory and human development, but i am sorry if this came across wrongly...please excuse me...
 

King sns

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i never said all wererlike this..i have said the above..

no one wants to see all the darker sides to everyone! and that includes me...these opinions are not meant to attack, yet i know they can come across rather harshly.

I WANT to understand them better but enivitably someone starts picking on the comments...Look, in life you will have to get thru the s**t sometimes in order to see the wonder...we are stirring up the pot in order to see clearly...this type has clearly frustrated and pained me in life more than any other, but i still would like to know more about them...I am at the point of writing them off and will never allow one to get close to me. There is just too much pain. I realize I am limited with them, ok.

What makes them tick is extrmely difficult to understand. These guys were kind enough to try...and i know its hard, but if it will help someone deal more effectively and lovingly with them, I THANK THEM from the bottom of my heart.
Can't any of agree that getting to the meat of the matter can be extremely helpful and even loving...Surely if you guys can even begin to see how no clear communication from them can hurt deeply, esp. after reading thru my posts, can't you begin to see how much someone can care about them. Can't you see that hard truth can be very freeing and loving, just as they are about experiencing and feeling....? I really felt that I was trying to offer a window into a unique temperament. :cry: i put a cry here bec. it pains me so much to see this happening...i really do thank you guys for your willingness to open up a bit...i am a person who truly and deeply wishes to understand and care about who you are as individuals, but I am also a person who, if not given any real comunication and feedback, just can't handle the isolation anymore. It is SO painful to me to be shutout and thrown away. IT really is. IF nothing else, please realize that you can deeply wound another with this isolating behavior. Thats all.

Okay, based on the bolded, and many of the faults that you added about isfp's, (most ultimately based on their conflict avoidance), it sounds like you probably had a serious relationship with an ISFP or 2, (romantic), and were burned. I have trouble believing that you had a very deep, painful relationship with many many ISFP's. (Unless you're just really sensitive around your friends.)

Either way, if you want to understand ISFPs behavior, know that many of the traits you mentioned like I said were about the ISFP need to avoid conflict, and I think that if an immature ISFP were to display these traits to you, then the conflict-avoidance is what it would boil down to. If you want a (healthy) ISFP to open up to you in a loving way, (especially with females) you need to offer an atmosphere of love and acceptance. Actively listen, don't judge, and be genuinely interested in what they have to say. And I think that's the best advice I can give to bring out the best in your isfps.
 

SolitaryPenguin

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Late to the party, but here's my $0.02 (in bold)

Going with version 2 since the ever awesome version 3 was missing from your list

Version 2 is the type I can't deal with anymore. Some of the reasons why follow.

-refuse to state their feelings and allow others to GUESS all the time. I do think some of them live in a world of FEAR that keeps them frozen all the time.

I have always hated guessing games and am extremely transparent when it comes to how I feel. I am difficult to read visually, so I try to compensate verbally.

-expect others to JUST KNOW how they feel and give it to them(think this is a trait of feelers in general)

I really don't expect anything from anyone. I tend to assume more that what is obvious to me is invisible to others, so I tend to call that stuff out right away. This seems much broader than just one type.

-are hurt when they dont' receive what they expect, but you will pay absolute hell getting it out of them

As I said, I don't expect anything from anyone. On the off chance that I do end up disappointed about something, I say something, immediately. Better to deal with it now than to bottle it up.

-conflict avoidant to the MAX and extreme (have a great friend whose son REFUSED to even sit down and talk to him about some issues going on in the household)

If something is wrong, I am usually the first one to want to sit down and talk about it. Again, better to keep things out in the open.

-will put things and DOGS, especially, OVER people

Not me, I am a people person through and through.

-will want a lot of weekend breaks , usually outdoors, BUT you must figure out that they supposedly want to spend time with you, BUT what I really think is that they want to experience nature AND not people

I love getting outdoors, but not usually by myself. I like to share what I am experiencing and how I am experiencing it with someone else, as well as wanting to see how they experience it.

-(sorry, but its true a lot of the time)--LAZY!!!!, unmotivated

If something isn't important to me, sure, but I think that is a universal. I tend to take care of business first (chores, bills, all that stuff) and then have more time to enjoy what I like to do.

-can't seem to understand that people will disappoint, BUT that they DISAPPOINT deeply

Not sure what you mean by this one, sorry.

-pay lipservice and will not follow thru- in other words, can be adroit liars and superficial people

I am truthful to a fault. I don't think that I am superficial at all, but I guess that isn't for me to decide.

-STILL waters DO NOT run deep

Again, not sure of the context of this.

-good at being quiet, BUT NOT LISTENING...boy, this happens all the time

I spend more time recounting what other people have said to me because they have forgotten it. I don't think a lack of listening is my problem, maybe more that I remember too much.

-want to be liked and loved but won't risk intimately alot of the time

My life has been a series of unsuccessful intimate risks, and I'm proud of every one of them.

-can be either good or LOUSy lovers

Not limited to type I am sure

-deadpan and boring-poker face to the max and you just can't get a feel for where they are at all

This I will agree with, but as I said before, I will tell you how I feel for the most part. I actually enjoy that people can't easily read me for clues, gives me a certain feeling of mystery.

-can be emotionally very dead once they give up, which you will likely never know because they won't tell you

If I have given up on someone, they'll know it, and they will know exactly why. If I have gotten to the point of writing someone off, I stick to it.

-can be very selfish with their THINGS, but won't share themselves with others

I am not a big possessions person. There isn't much that I own that I wouldn't gladly give up. I am pretty free with myself as a person, my time, my effort and my emotional energy. Those are the things that I enjoy.

-terrible at verbal communication

Not at all, I think I say too much most times.

-i have known a few that were CHEATERS and very disloyal- others that were very loyal and were faithful

Again, this could be said about all types.

-have terrible attitudes about money...just either won't budget or won't compromise

Right in the middle. I like to play, but only if the important things are taken care of first. If I have, I share, if I don't, I save.

-NEED kindness from others, but when you ask for somethign specific from them, they won't be kind in return

Not me, I am usually the one that all of my friends turn to, which is a blessing and a curse.

-can have serious issues with using others and lying

Not me

-won't fight for what is right or valued, will NOT stand up for family or anyone for that matter, but boy try and say no to their latest "toy" want

Again, not me. I've always protected my family and friends with as much intimidation as my tiny frame could muster. I am not a big "toy" person, so nobody needs to say no to me too often.

-will refuse to apologize for hurts they caused, but boy, you sure are expected to bend for them

If I screw up, I go out of my way to not only apologize, but to try and regain any trust that was lost. People's faith in me being a good person is very important to me.

--sometimes strive for this inner ideal but won't care to do the work necessary to understand the monetary or social cost. they will decide this on a moment's notice sometimes and then expect you to foot the bill.

Again, not something I have ever done.

-some are extremely insecure, but this is true with all types

Answered your own statement here

-can make themselves sick because of the avoidance tendencies.

I don't avoid things, I try to meet them head on.

--and lastly, they can absolutely HATE someone, but they will remain invisible and without opinion bec. they want you to think they actually like you!, when they don't- after all, who hates the UN-opinioned?

If I truly hate someone, they are going to know it, and ALL the reasons that I do. I am not one for walking around on eggshells, so if someone pissed me off to the point of hatred, you're damn sure that I will tell them about it.


Hope these helped, and sorry you've met some douchebags in your travels. As with all types, some of us kick ass, and some of us should have our asses kicked.
 
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