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  1. #51

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    Quote Originally Posted by pecan111 View Post
    I'm going to copy Quinlan and give my thoughts in bold.

    I'm version 2 probably.

    This is indeed very different..i haven't ever seen answers like this from an isfp...i take you at your word that you are one, but i definitely baffled by a few of your answers....very very different

    thanks for the response
    I'm as ISFP as they come. Which answers baffle you?

    On conflict avoidance. I personally feel it's just as valid to walk away from people you don't get along with. People don't change.

    It depends on the relationship. I've been in the same relationship 17 years. Might be 18 years now. I lost count...

  2. #52

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    Pecan111, I don't want to be or come off as mean or smth, but to me it sounds like you are still bothered by some of the personal difficulties you had with an isfp or isfp's in the past... Which might make you feel like the isfp's ways stand out so much, yet as you'll keep on talking to people and seeing other types too, I hope you will be able to feel more eased about isfp's and people in general perhaps.
    Ehm... All of these traits might indeed be found in all of the isfp's you tried to analyze so deeply, but I am sure in any other personality you'd find all kinds of stuff like that back if you'd analyze them very closely too. Some might be more typical to isfp's than others, etc etc, but eventually, I don't think it's so black and white either.
    I appreciate your effort though. Very much so.
    This has been insightful 'n stuff I've enjoyed reading this thread. I haven't even finished to be honest 'cause it's a lot to take in a once lol :P.
    [Tell me if I missed out on something when posting this message 'cause I haven't read everything (yet ).]
    I agree with jeffster pointing out the fact that all people are still individuals...this kinda backs up what I'm saying here...

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyline View Post
    Pecan111, I don't want to be or come off as mean or smth, but to me it sounds like you are still bothered by some of the personal difficulties you had with an isfp or isfp's in the past... Which might make you feel like the isfp's ways stand out so much, yet as you'll keep on talking to people and seeing other types too, I hope you will be able to feel more eased about isfp's and people in general perhaps
    .

    i don't feel that you are being mean...i just dont' think people are seeing what was meant to convey by this "challenge"...

    I know us entp's can be very debating styles and love to play devil's advocate...and i know it can be irritating at times...but it makes you think, doesn't it?
    ...maybe not the way you would like, but I have been pointing out things I have noticed about any number of isfp's...I NEVER said all of them were this way. I feel you all are harping on this...The focus isn't ALL isfp's...the focus is on isfp's tendencies that have been observed in a number of them..I could list a number of good qualities as well, but that was not the question put forth. I even asked if you wanted to know..I didn't just list them and scream holy hell. Two of you said to "go ahead"...well, I did...now everyone wants me to backtrack or decide that I am wrong..

    If you think I am wrong, think that..I am not going to change my mind. If you think there is some validity in what I say, well that is fine too..YOu are not here to all agree with me, BUT I did make you think a bit...it made you uncomfortable sometimes, didn't it? That was supposed to happen...In life, I have learned that most people tend to ride the white line, no questions, dont ask, don't ponder, not really challenge the status quo. WEll, us entp's have this need to question these things...

    I do believe that the things I mentioned are REAL, they just aren't the totality of isfp's....I dont' belive these are all isfp's, but they do represent tendencies. Lastly, and this is for the LAST TIME...type theory is on a continum...YOU can NEVER say that any type ALWAYS does somethign or ALWAYS does NOT do something.. More than a few times on this forum have i seen this type of reaction...All of you are being extremely unfair to both yourselves and other when you say that ALL INTJ's are such and such..The older I get the more I am sure that you must consider childhood, development, parents, schooling, geography, adolescence and beyond in order to truly assess an individual...all the uniqueness of an individual cannot be encapsulated by MBTI....it never will..

    Do you guys really want a hiring manager to see you in black and white by reading a profile that might only describe 60% of you? Do you want to be pigeonholed? If you don't worry about such things, you really should think about how you decide about others, because the way you tend to pigeonhole on this forum HAPPENS in work. Some tolerance for other ways of looking at things might be worth considering...

    Everyone has dark sides, EVERYONE....no one is perfect, no one is the best at social or interpersonal skills...but if you look at the thread prior to me entering in,,,,there was essentially nothing but praise for isfp's..

    I Dare you to know, love and live with an isfp or any other type, that you would have no issues with.. It doesn't happen and never will.

    I do want to say one comment about the word "CONFLICT"...i read all the comments on conflict from the isfp's side of things...any number are ok with their ideas, however there is one side of this deal that needs to be clarified...CONFLICT does not equal yelling, screaming.

    My definition of CONFLICT will include having an ISFP lie or withhold from me when asked a direct question. If something is holding you back from saying how you feel, there is no reason you can not state something like, "I don't feel comfortable talking about that"...There is no excuse anymore as an adult to continually sit there and stare. That is going to evenutally CREATE true conflict because it is your behavior that engenders it. I note that I have had this happen to me and I am not a happy camper when the thing they won't talk about happens to affect the whole family and puts us all in a bind...That is not fair, kind, loving. That is sh***ty! unkind, unloving, unfair and sometimes dangerous.

    I have seen this in LOTS of isfp's and other feelers in general, but isfp's appear to have this run and hide mentality the most. For those of you who have overcome it or never had this issue, that is great. YOu may have different preferences or background, but there ARE isfp's that have great great difficulty with this word and issue. YOu can not run and hide all your life and expect someone to keep accepting it, without consequence. i truly don't think any type who cares about you will put up with the extreme version of this behavior..and there are isfp's that do this...since we don't have huge numbers of this type represented on this forum, i can't speak for them, but i sure as hell wish i could get their input..it would be across the spectrum, but the mere mention of disagreement or conflict sets them running, whether mentally or physically. I am simply saying that by using this behavior as the only means to "deal" with conflict will ENSURE conflict. If you can't see this, there is no hope of ever really having a life that is real...you can avoid every situation in your life from now on, if that is what you wish, BUT things have a way of coming back to you and I do belive you will reap what you sow...

    now, i am ending this thread bec. we aren't going to convince each other of our opinions....that is ok...i never did get the why's of the behaviors and it will never get there bec. everyone is too busy looking at other issues now...for the record, I just wanted to KNOW THE WHY's of some of their behaviors....not the validity of them...

  4. #54
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Pecan I really appreciated your thoughts in this thread and they have given me a lot to think about, I realised that
    YOU can NEVER say that any type ALWAYS does somethign or ALWAYS does NOT do something..
    was implied throughout the discussion. We ISFPs love to look at the brightside but it would be a pity if you gave up on this thread, understanding the unhealthy side of ISFPs is very interesting.

    If somethign is holding you back from saying how you feel, there is no reason you can not state something like >"I don't feel comfortable talking about that"...There is no excuse anymore as an adult to continually sit there and stare.
    By sitting there and staring, isn't the fact they're uncomfortable talking about it obvious/implied?

  5. #55
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    Holy hell Jeffster, look at what you've done!



  6. #56

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    Quote Originally Posted by pecan111 View Post

    I do want to say one comment about the word "CONFLICT"...i read all the comments on conflict from the isfp's side of things...any number are ok with their ideas, however there is one side of this deal that needs to be clarified...CONFLICT does not equal yelling, screaming.

    My definition of CONFLICT will include having an ISFP lie or withhold from me when asked a direct question. If something is holding you back from saying how you feel, there is no reason you can not state something like, "I don't feel comfortable talking about that"...There is no excuse anymore as an adult to continually sit there and stare. That is going to evenutally CREATE true conflict because it is your behavior that engenders it. I note that I have had this happen to me and I am not a happy camper when the thing they won't talk about happens to affect the whole family and puts us all in a bind...That is not fair, kind, loving. That is sh***ty! unkind, unloving, unfair and sometimes dangerous.

    I have seen this in LOTS of isfp's and other feelers in general, but isfp's appear to have this run and hide mentality the most. For those of you who have overcome it or never had this issue, that is great. YOu may have different preferences or background, but there ARE isfp's that have great great difficulty with this word and issue. YOu can not run and hide all your life and expect someone to keep accepting it, without consequence. i truly don't think any type who cares about you will put up with the extreme version of this behavior..and there are isfp's that do this...since we don't have huge numbers of this type represented on this forum, i can't speak for them, but i sure as hell wish i could get their input..it would be across the spectrum, but the mere mention of disagreement or conflict sets them running, whether mentally or physically. I am simply saying that by using this behavior as the only means to "deal" with conflict will ENSURE conflict. If you can't see this, there is no hope of ever really having a life that is real...you can avoid every situation in your life from now on, if that is what you wish, BUT things have a way of coming back to you and I do belive you will reap what you sow...

    now, i am ending this thread bec. we aren't going to convince each other of our opinions....that is ok...i never did get the why's of the behaviors and it will never get there bec. everyone is too busy looking at other issues now...for the record, I just wanted to KNOW THE WHY's of some of their behaviors....not the validity of them...

    It's a pity you're leaving the thread. It was just getting interesting. As for the above I have been guilty of this.

    I'm still curious which answers baffled you. Oh well...


    It was fun

  7. #57
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    P.S. Stop deleting your posts out of the thread, it makes the whole us running away from conflict thing sort of irrelevant.

  8. #58
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    im not familiar with any ISFPs on this board besides Jeffster and Sunshine, but they're definitely cool and likable people in my book.
    Back at ya, rawr.

    Quote Originally Posted by pecan111 View Post
    .
    I even asked if you wanted to know..I didn't just list them and scream holy hell. Two of you said to "go ahead"...well, I did...now everyone wants me to backtrack or decide that I am wrong..
    Nah, I never asked you to backtrack or decide that you're wrong. In fact, I don't think anybody else did either. This might be the source of some of your conflicts with SPs. We tend to say what we mean and then people read stuff into it that isn't there and leave us saying "well, if you're gonna make stuff up, instead of responding to what we actually say, then forget it." My ISFP brethren and I simply responded to your list by indicating the things that did and did not apply to us. I think it was a good exchange myself. INCLUDING the parts that made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

    now, i am ending this thread bec. we aren't going to convince each other of our opinions....that is ok...i never did get the why's of the behaviors and it will never get there bec. everyone is too busy looking at other issues now...for the record, I just wanted to KNOW THE WHY's of some of their behaviors....not the validity of them...
    Sorry, I started this thread, and you're not me or a moderator so you can't end it. But I'd be happy to discuss some of those "KNOW THE WHY's" with you if ya want. I thought we were just getting warmed up.

    And what the heck? Did you delete some of your earlier posts? You're making my topic look all disjointed. And that's a far worse sin than calling me a lazy emo liar with no communication skills.

    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryPenguin View Post
    Holy hell Jeffster, look at what you've done!
    A. Man, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard THAT!

    OR

    B. Yeah, I started another 5 star topic!
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

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  9. #59
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Look at the Ginga on the left! Must have been hanging out on the wing filing his nails the whole game.

  10. #60

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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryPenguin View Post
    P.S. Stop deleting your posts out of the thread, it makes the whole us running away from conflict thing sort of irrelevant.
    You're right! Where did they get to?

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