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  1. #11
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    I approached him with a vague question today, "Are you angry or frustrated with me for any reason?" He seems pretty surprised by the question, he exclaimed, "No!" Then he hugged me.

    So, it's apparent to me now that I was projecting my own worries on to him. That's a relief. He's a good person to have as a friend.

    Thanks for your help and suggestions, everybody. You all kick ass.
    INFJ
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  2. #12
    Senior Member simpleamazement's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by defragmybrain View Post
    i've been known to want to drag my IXTJ boyfriends out and have asked them very similar questions, along the lines of "why dont you wanna go out/why are you being so depressed, its such a nice day, blah blah blah"
    That's why I love ESFPs, they always want to be out and have fun! The only really place I see them are at bars, and it's hard to get them away from their boyfriends while in bars.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    ESFPs are so delightful! I really love their energy and how they are definitely the dreamiest sensing types. I always kind of resented S types for being so damnably efficient and not taking the time to space out but ESFPs have somehow cultivated an efficient way to space out!

    As an extrovert surrounded by introverts I find that planning roomate activities (such as family dinner or board game night or really terrible horror movie night) is enough to satiate my extroversion while not overwhelming them. I also find that my introvert friends are fairly comfortable going to the movies because they don't really have to interact with anyone but the people they came with and I get to take them out! We get ice cream afterwards and discuss the movie.

    Maybe stuff like this would keep your ESFP from fussing over you. Remember, extroverts only fuss because we just really want to hang out with you.

  4. #14
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    I approached him with a vague question today, "Are you angry or frustrated with me for any reason?" He seems pretty surprised by the question, he exclaimed, "No!" Then he hugged me.

    So, it's apparent to me now that I was projecting my own worries on to him. That's a relief. He's a good person to have as a friend.

    Thanks for your help and suggestions, everybody. You all kick ass.

    Yea, the other thing about ESFPs.
    If he was mad at you for a second, he's probably forgotten about it the next second

  5. #15
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    Two things:

    1. You (the lovely INFJ) are probably reading into more than is there (please don't take offense, it's just SFPs don't hold onto lingering resentments like that).

    2. He is probably saying all that stuff as an instantaneous reaction to seeing you inside at that moment, but not as evidence of him having a problem with you being inside in general. He feels good at that time, wants to spread it to whomever he encounters, including you, and he feels that going out or whatever is the fun to spread.

    ADVICE?

    Ignore it, and when he offers to get you to go out, say something funny and sarcastic and smile and laugh but just end up staying home. He doesn't care if you stay home all that much. Just banter with him. "Come on!" he'll nudge, "It's a beautiful day. Let's go out and... blablabla!" Just say something funny like, "I know it's great out. Let me get my coat." Then roll your eyes (but don't forget to giggle afterwards). And then (and this is important), DON'T look at him with that INFJ squint like you're trying to read his reaction!!! He will know you are not ok with everything. Just go back to doing whatever and smile.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Buy him a copy of "Please Understand Me," and bookmark your type?

  7. #17
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    Two things:

    1. You (the lovely INFJ) are probably reading into more than is there (please don't take offense, it's just SFPs don't hold onto lingering resentments like that).

    2. He is probably saying all that stuff as an instantaneous reaction to seeing you inside at that moment, but not as evidence of him having a problem with you being inside in general. He feels good at that time, wants to spread it to whomever he encounters, including you, and he feels that going out or whatever is the fun to spread.

    ADVICE?

    Ignore it, and when he offers to get you to go out, say something funny and sarcastic and smile and laugh but just end up staying home. He doesn't care if you stay home all that much. Just banter with him. "Come on!" he'll nudge, "It's a beautiful day. Let's go out and... blablabla!" Just say something funny like, "I know it's great out. Let me get my coat." Then roll your eyes (but don't forget to giggle afterwards). And then (and this is important), DON'T look at him with that INFJ squint like you're trying to read his reaction!!! He will know you are not ok with everything. Just go back to doing whatever and smile.

    I have to say, if someone did this to me, I would become very angry. Like they are minimizing me. I would rather the cute INFJ reaction of simply telling me how they felt. Would make me feel more connected and less like they are minimizing my feeling of wanting to go out or outright ignoring me.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I have to say, if someone did this to me, I would become very angry. Like they are minimizing me. I would rather the cute INFJ reaction of simply telling me how they felt. Would make me feel more connected and less like they are minimizing my feeling of wanting to go out or outright ignoring me.
    Whoops. Well, never said I was an "N"... haha. I guess don't trust my advice on ESFPs now?! I've never been close friends with one, to be honest; that could be my problem. I thought I had it in the bag!

    Malia
    ISFP

  9. #19
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    Whoops. Well, never said I was an "N"... haha. I guess don't trust my advice on ESFPs now?! I've never been close friends with one, to be honest; that could be my problem. I thought I had it in the bag!

    Malia
    ISFP
    lol, not quite.
    Now you know what not to do!

  10. #20
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    Yes! I'll never do that ever now... what else would work? Saying thanks but no because "you know me"? Now I'm curious...

    Malia
    ISFP

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