[SP] An SP in a house full of Ns.

[Tiny Army]

My roomate has recently moved her ISTP boyfriend into the house. She's not in great standing in the house and we've never particularly liked her boyfriend but he lives here now and I feel I should make an effort. As an ENFP, though I can be too exuberant and overbearing. I really want to make friends with this ISTP but I'm worried that he thinks I'm flaky and stupid. Everyone in this house is a sci-fi/comic book nerd and he has shown nothing but disdain for our interests and our goals. I have no idea how to show him that we are competent, good natured people. He cuts short every conversation I have with him and frequently criticises me and the other roomates about our life choices.

What is the best way to make my new ISTP roomate comfortable? How do I befriend him without scaring him off with my NF excitement? I've never actually had any S type friends so I really don't know how to relate to him.

ISTPs, how do you make friends? Am I maybe misinterpreting his actions as judgemental or standoffish when he really has other intentions?

 

[INTPness]

You've never had any "S" friends? How'd you manage to find all these "N" friends? I can't seem to find enough "N's" in this world.

Tell him what you genuinely appreciate about him (his specific strengths, talents, etc). Just keep complimenting him on the things he does well in life and I believe he'll take a general liking to you over time.

 

[Domino]

Calmly inform him that you have your primary Ne locked and loaded, and that you'll use it to turn him into a Tribble at a moment's notice.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Slap the taste out of his mouth!

 

[Domino]

Slap the taste out of his mouth!

Or that! LOL Boy, you're so crunk!

 

[Jeffster]

Slap the taste out of his mouth!

Listen to this man.

Wait, you're a girl, right Tiny? If so, try putting yer boobs in his face. He'll listen to whatever you have to say.

 

[me_plus_one]

Well, he's an SP, he couldn't be that easily scared of that NF exuberance.

 

[Domino]

If you come across an ISTP who won't talk, all you have to do is start a conversation with a person next to you where you state ridiculous things like "Jurassic Park could totally happen" or "2 plus 2 equals 5 because I say so".

Cause his primary Ti to start smoking. Either he'll leave in disgust or he'll feel compelled to speak and make you stop that awful travesty you call "logic" this instant.

 

[bronte]

Just off the top of my head this sort of thing has worked with the istps i know (married to one for a long time!)- ask him to do something practical for you as a favour (change a plug, mend something) or ask for their help with a crossword or quiz - then make him a drink and sit by and talk to him about his interests - thank him but dont be showy.

Tell his gf how helpful he was - let him overhear you!

the istps I know are difficult to get to know (cold and sharp tongued at first and always sarcastic) but once you do Ive found them to be very, very loyal friends who go out of their way to be practically helpful - and the folks i know have a wicked sardonic sense of humour.

 

[millerm277]

the istps I know are difficult to get to know (cold and sharp tongued at first and always sarcastic) but once you do Ive found them to be very, very loyal friends who go out of their way to be practically helpful - and the folks i know have a wicked sardonic sense of humour.

That's us. I have no suggestions on how to get to know us well though..

 

[Domino]

That's us. I have no suggestions on how to get to know us well though..

Hey there, Miller. Did you know that babies come from cabbages? It's true. Global warming? Not happening. Also, my inferior Ti is really awesome and I use it a lot. I could probably defeat a chess grandmaster if I wanted to. We don't need math. All we need is LOVE. And I'm always right because I *feel* that way.

How am I doing?

 

[Jack Flak]

Hey there, Miller. Did you know that babies come from cabbages? It's true. Global warming? Not happening. Also, my inferior Ti is really awesome and I use it a lot. I could probably defeat a chess grandmaster if I wanted to. We don't need math. All we need is LOVE. And I'm always right because I *feel* that way.

How am I doing?

LOL there's no way that wasn't a CC impression.

 

[Tallulah]

Seems like if she moved him into YOUR house, he should be the one trying to ingratiate himself.

 

[Domino]

Seems like if she moved him into YOUR house, he should be the one trying to ingratiate himself.

Precisely. Bad manners shouldn't be accommodated.

Example: (in overhearing range) "Hey, [random other roommate]. Remember when Roommate had anthrax poisoning after that radioactive hobo spit on her during those illegal drug trials down in Mexico? I'm so glad she's okay now. ISTP won't have contracted anything unless he kissed her."

 

[Randomnity]

He probably knows you've never particularly liked him, and if he does, he's likely to distrust your sudden change of heart - at least, that's how I am.

If you want to make him comfortable, I would suggest...being normal. not trying too hard to be best friends, if you want him to feel welcome just invite him to join you in things, or to play video games or something. even if he doesn't want to, he'll probably appreciate the gesture.

It feels like your goal is to avoid conflict in the house, rather than forming a deep connection with this guy. That's probably best, at least to start. If you have things in common, friendship will happen naturally. otherwise, well, most of the istps I've known have a pretty easy time being polite to people we don't particularly like or dislike, as long as we aren't forced into a corner. most people aren't looking to cause trouble, I think.

 

[simulatedworld]

My roomate has recently moved her ISTP boyfriend into the house. She's not in great standing in the house and we've never particularly liked her boyfriend but he lives here now and I feel I should make an effort. As an ENFP, though I can be too exuberant and overbearing. I really want to make friends with this ISTP but I'm worried that he thinks I'm flaky and stupid. Everyone in this house is a sci-fi/comic book nerd and he has shown nothing but disdain for our interests and our goals. I have no idea how to show him that we are competent, good natured people. He cuts short every conversation I have with him and frequently criticises me and the other roomates about our life choices.

What is the best way to make my new ISTP roomate comfortable? How do I befriend him without scaring him off with my NF excitement? I've never actually had any S type friends so I really don't know how to relate to him.

ISTPs, how do you make friends? Am I maybe misinterpreting his actions as judgemental or standoffish when he really has other intentions?

If you want to impress an xSTP, just show him you're good at callously ripping people off, being short-sighted and ridiculously impulsive, and being totally unaware of anyone else's emotions.

Walk in the park for an ENFP, right?

 

[Tiny Army]

Don't say things like that! It's apt to send me into crusader mode involuntarily and then I run away on a mission to cure world hunger and my family finds me, months later shut in my apartment surrounded by lunchboxes!

 

[INTPness]

Hey there, Miller. Did you know that babies come from cabbages? It's true. Global warming? Not happening. Also, my inferior Ti is really awesome and I use it a lot. I could probably defeat a chess grandmaster if I wanted to. We don't need math. All we need is LOVE. And I'm always right because I *feel* that way.

How am I doing?

First of all, babies coming from cabbages is impossible. Conception could not take place inside of a cabbage. And as far as global warming not happening, apparently you don't do much reading. And I'd bet everything I own that the grandmaster would beat you 100 out of 100 times.

Uhhh...just kidding! If even one person thought I was serious, then this post was a great success...

 

[millerm277]

Hey there, Miller. Did you know that babies come from cabbages? It's true. Global warming? Not happening. Also, my inferior Ti is really awesome and I use it a lot. I could probably defeat a chess grandmaster if I wanted to. We don't need math. All we need is LOVE. And I'm always right because I *feel* that way.

How am I doing?

Making me try to decide whether I should kill myself, or you. Just kidding, but...no. Just act relatively normal, and the ISTP will probably get along with you fine, and open up/get used to you....in time. We're slow moving in the relationship area.

 

[BlackCat]

Just find some common ground about things that he does. Not deep stuff, ask what's going on in his life. Don't go on about yourself too much though.