User Tag List

First 56789 Last

Results 61 to 70 of 99

  1. #61
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Oooh! I do have a small fuzzy hound and he does hate her (but not nearly as much as he hates the ISTP).
    Score!

    Hilariously enough, they almost broke up today and as it turns out, the ISTP is super controlling, going so far as to basically picking out her clothes for her, insisting that she wear makeup at all times and complaining when she doesn't shave her legs (Winter, in Brooklyn! She's allowed to not shave her legs once in a while!).

    Is this an incredibly unhealthy example of some kind of ISTP behaviour or is this guy just a dick to his girlfriend? Do ISTPs find themselves being controlling (though I doubt any of you express it in ways as douchey as this!) to their SOs?

    (I'm not accusing, I'm just curious!)
    That sounds so strange. My experience with ISTPs, even when being jackasses, rarely give a darn about make-up or clothes. And as to shaving her legs, boyfriend needs to be forced to try it sometime. Outside. In a snowpile.

    When an ISTP goes bad, it's mostly a mental/cerebral thing - like everyone becomes "stupid" or intolerable. Ti goes into overdrive, takes on superiority.

    Quote Originally Posted by millerm277 View Post
    Um, he's just an ass. We (or at least me), are some of the least controlling people around generally. I give others the freedom to do as they want, and expect the same in return....that's really it.
    Seriously. Sometimes, it's just a jerk, not a type.

    Not to aim hateration at ISTJs, but could he possibly be an unhealthy ISTJ? This-that, black-white, on-off, etc sounds pretty J to me.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #62
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    nnnn
    Posts
    1,633

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    My roomate has recently moved her ISTP boyfriend into the house. She's not in great standing in the house and we've never particularly liked her boyfriend but he lives here now and I feel I should make an effort. As an ENFP, though I can be too exuberant and overbearing. I really want to make friends with this ISTP but I'm worried that he thinks I'm flaky and stupid. Everyone in this house is a sci-fi/comic book nerd and he has shown nothing but disdain for our interests and our goals. I have no idea how to show him that we are competent, good natured people. He cuts short every conversation I have with him and frequently criticises me and the other roomates about our life choices.

    What is the best way to make my new ISTP roomate comfortable? How do I befriend him without scaring him off with my NF excitement? I've never actually had any S type friends so I really don't know how to relate to him.

    ISTPs, how do you make friends? Am I maybe misinterpreting his actions as judgemental or standoffish when he really has other intentions?

    I just want to say that I was so happy to find an ENFP in my new house - you're highly talented in this area. He may not know how to react to you, he may not feel like he needs more friends than the girlfriend (and thus wants you to leave him alone) or he may be an ass...GL! Oh and say something back when he criticises you - preferably something sarcastic.

  3. #63
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/so
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,927

    Default

    OK, I'm not going to play expert, but here's a random comment from an ESTP that's new to this board.

    Me personally, I have had difficulty relating to some introverts in the past, regardless of their Ixyz, simply because I am loud, animated, talk fast, and hyper. (But I am VERY good natured and friendly despite all this!). Once it becomes apparent that I am not a psycho asshole, things usually go fine, but some "I" folks just don't relate to someone as polar opposite as them real well, which is fine, no harm no foul.

    On the other hand, despite relating to extroverts fairly easily all around, there are times when I have accidentally pissed one off (all friends of mine) quite unintentionally, and I can't help but think that here's where the eXYZ business supersedes extroversion in general.

    Bottom line, is you seem to be good natured in your efforts and are trying and that alone is commendable. If you don't make ground with someone after a sincere effort like that then just defer to common courteousy and see what happens. So long as everyone minds their manners all will be OK, right?

    Good luck!

  4. #64
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    If you don't make ground with someone after a sincere effort like that then just defer to common courteousy and see what happens. So long as everyone minds their manners all will be OK, right?

    Good luck!
    Indeed!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #65
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    EN?P
    Enneagram
    7
    Posts
    679

    Default

    Maybe he is an ISTJ! He tested as an ISTP and I always just took his word for it but the test ain't often accurate.

  6. #66
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/so
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,927

    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Maybe he is an ISTJ! He tested as an ISTP and I always just took his word for it but the test ain't often accurate.
    Maybe so. From my limited experience in MBTI delvings, I have experienced some pretty heinous conflicts at the hand of "J's" that they got real worked up over and I was baffled and tried real hard not to get irritated.

    Is there something to J's being control freaks? If so it can be a real pain in the ass. I'm really into the whole "SP" free spirit thing.

  7. #67
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    3,917

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by millerm277 View Post
    Um, he's just an ass. We (or at least me), are some of the least controlling people around generally. I give others the freedom to do as they want, and expect the same in return....that's really it.
    That's what I've observed of ISTPs as well.

  8. #68
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    I tried to understand the WoW thing because I play D and D but he thinks all D and D players are incredibly lame and should upgrade to WoW. Then the conversation is over.
    LOL.

    I can really believe you are a house of comic fans but why wouldn't this kid fit in? I feel like it's a showdown at a sci-fi convention between star trek fans and star wars fans. And Battlestar Galactica (classic and new) would be in there somewhere, too.

    Tiny Army, just curious, but do you really feel you are overbearing? Why do you want so much to befriend him or get on his good side?

    I am cool with most folks IRL, however, I do not go out of my way to be cool with people I am not drawn to or personally interested in. This includes roommates, coworkers, etc. I'm cordial and even friendly, but I don't try to befriend people if I don't feel a natural inclination. I only do it if I am genuinely interested in them. Otherwise, I feel fake and don't even want to bother. And if I don't like you, I may try to be cordial, but I think it's fine to dislike people. You can still dislike people and function well together in a group.

    The only exception where I would go out of my way to make someone feel welcome is a friend's relative or significant other, which I have done even as recently as last week. And even then I would only go so far and stay contextually appropriate. Or perhaps if I felt was in a bad spot and needed a friend, if only for that moment.

    It sounds like you've already done your job and nothing further is really necessary. In fact, you'd be well within reason to take your efforts down a notch, or three. He may actually warm up to you once you stop approaching him so so much.

    I guess I'm just interested to understand more of where you're coming from on this.

    PS I know your av is Big Barda. Do I win points?
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  9. #69
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Maybe he is an ISTJ! He tested as an ISTP and I always just took his word for it but the test ain't often accurate.
    Oh man, why didn't you say so?

    ISTJs are really hard to live with, btw. But not for the reaons you stated. They are not necessarily unfriendly or asocial.

    From what I've read and gleaned from this board, ISTJ's and ISTPs are verrrrry different.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #70
    Senior Member Hendo Barbarosa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    197

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rhinosaur View Post
    Although I doubt Batman could save us from aliens.
    It's called OMAC/ReMAC, people. Come on

    I suppose befriending her boyfriend was my bizarro way of proving to myself that she wasn't all bad. I had blamed him for my relationship with the ENTJ gf going sour for a long time, but ever since we've gotten to know each other better I have come to a conclusion that the charismatic and spunky girl I made friends with almost four years ago was just a well cultivated cover for the bully I live with now.
    I honestly think you did what you always do...you saw the fact that you couldn't be friends with him not as an excuse, but as a challenge.

    As someone who talks with this dude every day, I can definitely weigh in on the ISTJ/ISTP thing, not necessarily by functions (although that seems to be proof in oh so much pudding) but I mean additionally, observations indicate that:

    a.) he defines his affections for people by figuring out material things/goods that people like or need, and then providing those for them. Tiny might be failing to mention this potentially, but the way he kind of "announced" his arrival at our house was by bringing all kinds of things that he had observed us talking about having, but not having, like some extra silverware, some different types of food and stuff that he knew we had liked from talking to us, and I think some like, pots and pans too. All incredibly practical shit.

    b.) he strives for efficiency on the level of our household. I've had a conversation with him like 8 times on the issue of our trash and how to make it cleaner and more efficient. I often find myself at the same point with him, trying to waylay his fears about any given current mess or inefficiency with promises of plans and solutions to come....once I have the money. Also when you talk to him, he is a virtual encyclopedia of medical facts about the body and how to keep it healthy. He can tell you basically everything in your kitchen that can potentially give you cancer, and exactly how.

    I'm N-type enough that when someone does that much for me for no reason, I tend to take it automatically as "Oh, so you're insinuating that I am inefficient eh? Well fuck you!" so at first, I didn't really get along with him either. Plus his sexist ideas and theories like, can really mess with my head in terms of being annoying like a mosquito in a conversation.

    Now I basically just leave him be and that kind of...works out.


    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    LOL.

    I can really believe you are a house of comic fans but why wouldn't this kid fit in? I feel like it's a showdown at a sci-fi convention between star trek fans and star wars fans. And Battlestar Galactica (classic and new) would be in there somewhere, too.
    You'd think this, but remember the WoW and Halo act as transcendent icons in gaming culture. They are to games what myspace was to the internet, in that they have developed a culture to allow people who have no nerd-like qualities to compete and win in a nerd's world (video games, the internet). Our IST-whatever is in THIS cross section of WoW gamers, i.e. body builders who think Lord of the Rings is for wussies, and posit that "it's all in the arena" or somesuch thing. I'm willing to bet if you quizzed him on either Alliance or the Horde plotlines and story development, he would honestly not be able to tell you key points of the story.


    hope the information helps!

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] I'm in a room full of nfs, help me.
    By xisnotx in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 01-07-2014, 10:32 PM
  2. An ISFP male in a world full of thinkers
    By reddevil in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-09-2012, 03:44 PM
  3. [SP] Mum, Where does an SP's sense of humour come from?
    By wolfy in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 06-16-2009, 10:02 PM
  4. SP in DA HOUSE!
    By FC3S in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 05-22-2009, 07:43 PM
  5. [SP] Good representation of an SP
    By Ezra in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-09-2008, 10:14 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO