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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Default ISFP's - getting attention vs. being clingy

    I've read a lot about ISFP's on this board and here's my question: Seems like in the beginning of a relationship you guys like attention, but not clingyness. Help me understand the difference. I'm very interested in an ISFP and definitely want to show that interest to her without being clingy. She was contacting me quite a bit and I think I made a subtle comment that caused her to back off from doing that so much (hope it didn't hurt her feelings). So now, I still want her to know to be herself (don't adjust based on what I may have said). And I also want her to understand that I truly do want to give her attention. I get the feeling, however (my Ne at work here), that when I show interest through contacting her, it can seem clingy to her. Don't want to be clingy at all, she's free to be herself and have her own domain. I'm cool with that. In fact, I prefer it. At the same time, I do care a great deal about you and I want you to know that.

    How do I go about transmitting this message to her in the beginning stages when we're still feeling each other out?

  2. #2
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    I can't be in her head of course, but my guess is that she's probably not overthinking it. I have not had any problem with girls being "clingy", if she's hot, she can cling to me all she wants. The thing I don't like is trying to change me or to try to over-schedule my activities or force me to be too plan-oriented. My last two girlfriends were definite J types who wanted to plan and schedule everything, and there was a serious cramp on my spontaneous style.
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  3. #3

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    Part of being an ISFP is adapting your material to the audience.

  4. #4
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    *Watching thread and waiting for more ISFP responses*

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    I can't be in her head of course, but my guess is that she's probably not overthinking it. I have not had any problem with girls being "clingy", if she's hot, she can cling to me all she wants. The thing I don't like is trying to change me or to try to over-schedule my activities or force me to be too plan-oriented. My last two girlfriends were definite J types who wanted to plan and schedule everything, and there was a serious cramp on my spontaneous style.
    Hence why I've only dated Ps

  6. #6
    Senior Member riel's Avatar
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    I agree with Jeffster. In my point of view, I would really appreciate if someone who loves me has the time to discover everything about me w/o rushing things up to the point that I can trust him. Also, I'd appreciate if he will send me things that show his love for me, though I do not guarantee that it'll work for all ISFPs. Btw, I'm an ISFP girl.

  7. #7
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Attention is great, attention implies focus on me without any attempt to control me. Clingyness in my mind is an attempt to control or shape me into something they want me to be.

    Combine genuine interest with not needing them to be or do more than they are = happy isfp, I think.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Attention is great, attention implies focus on me without any attempt to control me. Clingyness in my mind is an attempt to control or shape me into something they want me to be.

    Combine genuine interest with not needing them to be or do more than they are = happy isfp, I think.
    +1 Well put.

  9. #9
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    Take it from me, you'll have to compromise with her if you wish to convey something as important as you say it is. Ergo, I second what the peeps above say.

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