[MBTI General] ISFP interactions with INFs

[KLessard]

Did you ISFPs ever have friendships or other relationships with Introverted NFs? What was it like, and what did you feel the NF could bring you and you could offer the INF?

 

[JRT]

ooh I can relate to this one! One of my good friends is an INFP. She is one of the most unique people I have ever met. I really love her sense of style and how she cares so much about everyone and everything.

I think she has taught me how to be more universial if that makes sense...making me more known of issues where we live. Another thing she has taught me is how to stand up for myself more and not let people walk all over me.

From what she tells me I keep her grounded while most of her other friends aren't very grounded individuals I guess. I think i'm more of the spontaneous one so we always go on adventures or roadtrips to somewhere. I've told her that she shouldn't worry so much about things and most things will work themselves out.

 

[heart]

^ I got my ISFP friend to bargain at garage sales. She was appalled the first time I did it!

 

[Jeffster]

Did you ISFPs ever have friendships or other relationships with Introverted NFs? What was it like, and what did you feel the NF could bring you and you could offer the INF?

Yes, I have had three very different relationships with introverted NFs.

My mother (INFJ) is obviously the one that I have had the longest, and I would say our relationship has been through many rollercoasters but has never been lacking love. What she brings me is the unconditional love and support that I have needed on countless occasions when I did stupid things like quit my job when I had no money and have a child when I was still pretty much a child myself and with a woman even flakier than me. Over and over again, she has set aside her own interests and desires and spent time, money, and effort in supporting me and my son in whatever way she could, and I couldn't possibly repay her if I spent the rest of my life trying to do so. I can only try to follow her example and do the same for my son no matter what happens. We have our moments of frustrating the hell out of each other, but all in all I'd say things have been very good between us, and she's the person I have been the closest too for my whole life, as much as we may have strong differences in the way we view stuff.

My friend and former co-worker Dan (INFP) and I have had a lot of fun together and had many great conversations. I admire his consideration of people's feelings and his desire to find the worthwhile in people. I try to do some of that myself, even though my natural cynicism limits it somewhat. Dan is a really genuine guy who is honest and will try to help anyone who needs it if he can. He's also really fun to talk to, and to mess with, and it was enjoyable to work with him both as an equal and when he was my boss. I miss working with him and I always wish him the best in whatever he does, he is somebody I am glad to have known, and is the kind of friend everybody should have.

My friend and current co-worker Sasha (INFJ) is another fun, caring, and genuine person that I have had the pleasure to get to know better over the last couple years, and I really appreciate her willingness to talk to me about all kinds of stuff. Having her in the office has not only helped alleviate some of my workload, it has also made the work I still have to do more bearable, because I can pass some of the time talking and laughing with her about whatever stuff is interesting to us on that particular day. She has criticized me sometimes, but knowing her better now I realize this always comes from a good place, as she wants people to be in harmony and not in conflict with each other, and when she gets on me for being mean or not helpful with people, she really is trying to help me and not just trying to put me down for no reason. She has made me stop and think about some things in ways I probably would have never done, and that's cool. I feel like she has been a good influence on my life, and I hope maybe I have been a little on hers too.

 

[Athenian200]

They're easy enough to get along with. Easier than INFPs, actually, at least for me.

They do jump into situations I'd prefer to avoid sometimes, but they don't seem to hold it against me for refusing to follow them in those situations.

 

[tibby]

My very long-standing friendship with an ISFP has been interesting. The way we view the world is (obviously) very different, and she has never really understood my view on things, which has had its impact on me. She has hurt my feelings on many occasions, but knowing it's not intentional I have never confronted her about it - I know my sensitivity and actually due to her I've learnt to practise to ignore it. She's a very grounded and practical individual, and I appreciate that. She doesn't make an effort socially for the people she finds uninteresting, and although I think it's very judgmental and stops her from having many interesting acquintances and experiences, over the last 7 years I've started to understand it better and I respect her authencity and honesty above all else.

She has a great sense of humour and that's mostly the language we communicate with.

I subtly try to offer her new information and viewpoints to consider as I realize we speak different language basically (S and N), so I never push anything on her (it actually annoys her if I do it directly, cause she's very here and now - orientated), while I'm trying to help her sort out her potential pitfalls she might encounter in the future / at the present.

 

[Sunshine]

Wow. Three ISFPs here with INFJ mothers.

 

[Sunshine]

My very long-standing friendship with an ISFP has been interesting. The way we view the world is (obviously) very different, and she has never really understood my view on things, which has had its impact on me. She has hurt my feelings on many occasions, but knowing it's not intentional I have never confronted her about it - I know my sensitivity and actually due to her I've learnt to practise to ignore it. She's a very grounded and practical individual, and I appreciate that. She doesn't make an effort socially for the people she finds uninteresting, and although I think it's very judgmental and stops her from having many interesting acquintances and experiences, over the last 7 years I've started to understand it better and I respect her authencity and honesty above all else.

She has a great sense of humour and that's mostly the language we communicate with.

I subtly try to offer her new information and viewpoints to consider as I realize we speak different language basically (S and N), so I never push anything on her (it actually annoys her if I do it directly, cause she's very here and now - orientated), while I'm trying to help her sort out her potential pitfalls she might encounter in the future / at the present.

But if you confronted her about it she'd stop doing it. Less hurt for you. What's stopping you?

 

[Sunshine]

I find it very difficult to get close to INFxs; like we both have this barrier that we can never get past...well in friendships anyway...me and my INFJ mother are beyond close.

I do have two INFP friends IRL. We're not super close but we are good friends. One of them is my ENFP brother's girlfriend and when I hang out with them I have sooooo much fun. In that instance the only thing we really offer each other is just a good time and the friendship itself.

With my other INFP friend...hmmm I dunno...I never thought about it before...umm...I guess what I offer her is I tend to get us to actually do things...she does nothing...like literally...her life consists of school and television....at school she does hang out with her friends there which is good but outside of that all she really does is stay home and watch television...I tend to push to get us to go do different things...hmmmm and as for what she offers me...hmmm she tends to help keep me in check...not directly it's just that she's so incredibly kind and considerate and such that it makes me examine the way I treat others a lot. Actually come to think of it...basically she's always inspiring me to be an all around better person. This might be more related to the fact that she's just a really wonderful kind person than the fact that she's an INFP but oh well. Then again most of the INFPs I know of are kind so...*shrug*

EDITED TO ADD: It's really interesting though because I don't normally get the urge to push to get me and my friends to go do things...it's only with her...usually it's the other way around...when I'm with my other friends they're the ones behind getting us to do whatever fun thing we just decided was awesome.

 

[tibby]

But if you confronted her about it she'd stop doing it. Less hurt for you. What's stopping you?

Because it's hard to confront someone about something they're not doing directly, and not intentionally.

I think I've confronted her looong time ago about it, but she didn't get any of it.