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  1. #31
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    This probably isn't the best place for this, but I feel like I ought to at least explain myself, since I've been asked to...

    It's not just that it's a new year, and at this time I always feel the need to make some changes that I think will help me accomplish my goals and give me time to do things I really want to do. Although that may be part of it. I'm simply not enamored of the way many people use psychological type, and am no longer interested in logging in every day to read complaints and generalizations which have no substance behind them, and I've noticed that responding to these posts mostly only gets me damned as being politically correct or oversensitive. It's a shame that being fair, honest and sensitive to how type is used is thought by many to be a detriment rather than an asset.

    I believe it's true that you catch more flies with honey, and maybe I haven't been diplomatic enough in this forum. I admit I do have a quick temper, (although it dissipates pretty fast) and I also admit that I have a hard time suffering fools gladly. I think in this instance, the people I don't care to have anything more to do with are those who have chosen to use pscyhological type as a weapon to bash "types" of people who have hurt them in the past (and they're quick to label whole types as being a problem, never just individuals), or people who would rather complain about their relationships or communication problems than actually take steps to make things better.

    I passionately believe that the only positive way of using type is to see it as a tool that informs you as to the best way to ask the right kinds of questions, and also frame people's responses in a positive way. It also seems obvious that most of what's labeled as type-related really isn't. Your ex-boyfriends' messy habits, your bosses lack of thoughtfulness, your best friends' flightiness, your mother's bossiness, etc., is probably related more to what they grew up with and what's going on in their individual lives, not their "type code". I suspect most of what people like to believe is type-related is actually just the result of individuals we know having lived at a certain time, in a certain place, under certain circumstances, and that if type had anything to do with the expression of these behavior traits, it influenced the motives behind the expression of them, not the behavior itself. Yes, I believe there are observable patterns of behavior and that this is to some degree related to type (as Keirsey would say), but patterns that relate to temperament are not the same thing as patterns of contextual behavior. It seems to me that the more you actually learn and understand about type, the less you see it as being about labeling contextual behavior, and the more you begin to understand what's meant by the core needs and values that drive people, and the better you can understand that each set of needs and values are valuable, good, and worth including people of each type in your life as much as possible, because diversity is good.

    I'm done reading forum posts for the reasons I mentioned, but I wanted to say I've really enjoyed some of the conversations I've had here, and that I really would rather just privately use type in a way that I feel is positive rather than log in every day to see the same old gripes related to contextual behavior being linked to type codes. Anyone who feels like talking with me about type is welcome to send me a PM (I'll get email notification of it) and I will gladly respond, as I've enjoyed meeting a number of people here.

    (I will not, however, be responding to anyone who just wants to start a fight or diss me for being politically correct.)
    It's well thought out, and written, but it strongly smacks of short term frustration.. something got to you, and you threw the toys away - rather than a long term change of opinion.

    Now, I may be wrong, but most times I see a post like that, within a month or two, the poster is back. I wonder if this time it will be different (and if it is, best of luck to you).

  2. #32
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    Most SPs would see a forum like this, shake their heads, might even give a short chuckle at the ignorance of people then leave to actually rule the real world.

    I honestly don't have time for ignorance anyway so anyone who has the "Ss are stupid" crusade going on I don't have time for.

    Thats me, as for an SFP well... I wish people would take other peoples feelings into account...

    It's not hard to turn "omg you guys do this thing I cant even get along with SPs LOL!?!?"

    Into "I noticed someone who did this thing... is this something most SPs would do? or does it have something to do with this persons personal ethics? Thanks"

    It never ceases to amaze me the things people come up with that apparently a whole type or temperament apparently do.

  3. #33
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    I'll miss you Sarah .
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  4. #34
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I think a lot of us will
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #35
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I think a lot of us will
    Yeah.

    Some of these people she's talking about have little to say ( with exceptions here and there ) besides criticizing others. If they didn't have type as a club, they would pick some other tool or rationalized excuse.

    There are others here who do "type bragging" more than "type bashing", and I think their motivation is more about "beating the bushes" to drum up some board activity/participation. They know that arguments generate more passion than consensus efforts, and so they do this sort of thing with what they assume ( I think ) are good intentions. They may even feel like a "roast" is a kind of compliment from them, as opposed to no attention, like in the old days when someone such as Don Rickles "roasts" Dean Martin. ( Some of you may be too young to even know who these guys are, but I can't think of any good contemporary examples, at the moment. )
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  6. #36
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    This probably isn't the best place for this, but I feel like I ought to at least explain myself, since I've been asked to...

    It's not just that it's a new year, and at this time I always feel the need to make some changes that I think will help me accomplish my goals and give me time to do things I really want to do. Although that may be part of it. I'm simply not enamored of the way many people use psychological type, and am no longer interested in logging in every day to read complaints and generalizations which have no substance behind them, and I've noticed that responding to these posts mostly only gets me damned as being politically correct or oversensitive. It's a shame that being fair, honest and sensitive to how type is used is thought by many to be a detriment rather than an asset...
    Excellent post, brave and true. Thought-provoking and consciousness-raising. I'm sorry to see Sarah go.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  7. #37
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    You're welcome, Pink.
    Care for some Earl Gray with honey and lemon???
    Or do you prefer sugar and cream???
    Another... um... meat pie, courtesy of ummm.... Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street???

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Why thank you! Tea is a superb digestive! *urp*
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  8. #38
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Sarah, between being a possible ESFJ (THE MOST HATED TYPE ON THE FORUM) or an ENFJ (THE FOURTH MOST HATED TYPE ON THE FORUM) I will say that thick skin and ignoring the ignant fools who perpetuate bullshit is the best way to enjoy your forum experience. If you must leave, then you must leave, but I would love to see you pop in every now and again. I've never found your posts oversensitive or overreactive even when people have tried to make you feel as if you're overreacting when crusading against a real bias.

    And also I always think to myself, "who are the people who post here?" Like literally whenever I read the garbage posts and theories people pass around like cheap liquor I just keep that thought in my head about who such and such could really be behind the screen to need to say the BS they say to make themselves feel better. And then it just makes me more sad for them than actually mad at them, ya know?

    Till we meet again.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  9. #39
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Sarah, between being a possible ESFJ (THE MOST HATED TYPE ON THE FORUM) or an ENFJ (THE FOURTH MOST HATED TYPE ON THE FORUM)
    Do you have a ranking system? Because that would be awesome!
    It'd also be cool to rank type popularity by gender.

  10. #40
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    Yeah right, like proteanmix is ENFJ!

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