Maybe they do need your strength, Gray, but not relentlessly at your expense. No human relationship is always 50-50, (I should know, I've been scraped off the ceiling more times than I can count), but you shouldn't be running on empty simply because the people around you can't put their feet down and find the bottom of the water. You aren't a flotation device.
...
Could it mean, perhaps, they will never understand how difficult it is for *you* to step away? The Rock of Gibraltar can't have feelings. He won't mind.
although i appreciate the intention, i dont have a syndrome of self patronization, i represent in the lives of those around me what i want to and have chosen to represent, and i think relationships require complimentary give and take, not necessary the exact same being given and received.
i think i am built for a certain role, it is not that i only rarely or never receive the same in return (i rarely or never need that, after all) but the relationship can still be unfair despite the fact that i consider my needs to be much simpler.
people do not
listen. i dont wish to extract some service, material, or even emotion from others, i dont need others to jump through hoops as if the fact that i spend time with them doesnt imply that i already like who they are. yet regardless of whatever excellence i can muster in rational creativity, emotional stability, or whatever other quality others find attractive of me, it is rare for me to be met with the level of trust and understanding that is not only required for relationships i am in to function smoothly, but that i desire in return. instead what i am given is projections...
if there is anything frustrating, it is not that i am often the one that ends up carrying the people around me, it is that after i put myself up to the standard of person that i think the people i care about deserve, i am never returned with the level of trust i would have if they recognized that fully. in fact, it's not even for my own selfish wants that it frustrates me, but because it's how they must relate to me for our relationship to attain a state of balance.
my friend makes a point to remind me about a few bucks of food i borrowed a day before, despite the fact that i not only remember, but i fully intend to pay him back as soon as i can get some change, and that i have written it down in my notes so as not to forget, and that he owes me several thousand dollars that ive loaned him for nearly a year so he could furnish his apartment. my parents complain that i dont visit or call them enough, make threats about our relationship ending because ive "made it clear i want nothing to do with them", yet i was in a car nearly 9 hours in snow and ice to visit them on christmas, i make a point to fix their computer and move heavy things when i visit because they cant, and ive been introverted and individualistic my entire life and they have not yet met that fact with understanding or the unconditional love that i have to practice every time they spit in my face like that. this is not a pattern limited to these specific examples, either
when i try to explain myself or what i think, they do not pay attention or seem to take it into any sort of consideration whatsoever. the fact that this sort of thing seems to happen over and over, they never learn better. instead of the substance i desire in return, for the sake of our relationship and their well being within it most of all, i am left feeling helpless trying to deal with projections of issues that are most often none of my own.