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[ISTP] ISTPs need relationships too!

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I ask for both you and Gray to consider that people attempting to put themselves in your shoes may seem to be projecting. Also consider that they may be forced to place some level of motivation upon you if you don't allow for your own internal motivation to make itself apparent once in a while. It doesn't seem far-fetched to me that a purely T-type may consider "projection" to be any person attempting to make any sort of connection to you through the most primal of functions, the emotional.

If people around you are criticizing you unduly or unfairly, that's another matter entirely.

Also be aware that ISTPs above just about any type feel the removal of anything personally perceived to be freedom like tiny tiny bloody cuts. You have to articulate (as tiresome as that may be) to people where your boundaries are.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Also be aware that ISTPs above just about any type feel the removal of anything personally perceived to be freedom like tiny tiny bloody cuts. You have to articulate (as tiresome as that may be) to people where your boundaries are.

:steam:

My ISTP roommate does nothing and he has to nerve to beehatch at me!! He's in danger of getting a taste of my shadow pretty soon!
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
To be fair, ENFJs can be very overbearing and critical if they're in the grip, or have picked up that tactic as means to get things done. It's hard to deal with and also hard to make them stop. I've been on the receiving end of it and it's not endearing. However, I don't recall having any sort of communication issues with the ISTPs I've known if they were allowed to say plainly what they were thinking or what they wanted from me. Exchange of information need not be interpretive dance.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
:steam:

My ISTP roommate does nothing and he has to nerve to beehatch at me!! He's in danger of getting a taste of my shadow pretty soon!

You do realize you'll lose, right?
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
To be fair, ENFJs can be very overbearing and critical if they're in the grip, or have picked up that tactic as means to get things done. It's hard to deal with and also hard to make them stop. I've been on the receiving end of it and it's not endearing.

I'm very flexible. I can work with people on just about anything. I am very fair and I give people a lot of slack. What I don't tolerate well is people who don't do their share but feel they can whine, or worse, push me around.

However, I don't recall having any sort of communication issues with the ISTPs I've known if they were allowed to say plainly what they were thinking or what they wanted from me. Exchange of information need not be interpretive dance.

Could be because you are an ENFJ. They might respond better to ENFJs. This one is a terrible communicator. I've tried.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
You have not met my shadow and you never want to. I seriously doubt you could lure it out to play anyway.

Oook. :huh:


I'm very flexible. I can work with people on just about anything. I am very fair and I give people a lot of slack. What I don't tolerate well is people who don't do their share but feel they can whine, or worse, push me around.

I don't think anyone likes that.

Could be because you are an ENFJ. They might respond better to ENFJs. This one is a terrible communicator. I've tried.

An ISTP boy I used to hang out with hardly ever talked (Blue the 4-Wheel Driver). It took a lot to tick him off, and even then it wasn't a screaming tirade. It was difficult to know what he was thinking sometimes, but it only mattered for me to know when I was involved. Otherwise, I left him to his ruminations unmolested.

Why are you co-habitating with this person?
 

Grayscale

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Messages
1,965
MBTI Type
ISTP
I ask for both you and Gray to consider that people attempting to put themselves in your shoes may seem to be projecting. Also consider that they may be forced to place some level of motivation upon you if you don't allow for your own internal motivation to make itself apparent once in a while. It doesn't seem far-fetched to me that a purely T-type may consider "projection" to be any person attempting to make any sort of connection to you through the most primal of functions, the emotional.

If people around you are criticizing you unduly or unfairly, that's another matter entirely.

Also be aware that ISTPs above just about any type feel the removal of anything personally perceived to be freedom like tiny tiny bloody cuts. You have to articulate (as tiresome as that may be) to people where your boundaries are.

fair enough... but i still do not understand or at all like people making assumptions. why would someone try to fix their car if they knew nothing about it or had never read the manual, why would someone assume they understand what im thinking if they dont have enough data?

if it was me, the solution is so blatantly obvious to ASK the person instead of pulling their intentions out of my ass. the more i think about it, the more it makes little or no sense for people to treat me like that, maybe i need to tell them to "RTFM" or if they cant do that, then i need to be given the benefit of the doubt.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
Why are you co-habitating with this person?

Just a random roommate. I could easily afford to get a place of my own. I've chosen to spend money on my business instead. That thing is a money pit, but I see long term potential. I use him as a reason to "keep buggering on" (not give up) with my plans.

"I need to make this work if I want out of this hell."


I've also been waiting for the housng market to bottom out.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
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4w3
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sx/so
fair enough... but i still do not understand or at all like people making assumptions.

Assumptions are subverted attempts to decipher what appears to be a puzzle. Assumptions made my reputation out to be a wild child freakfest at 14 simply because I wore jack boots, long earrings, liked punk, and ran with hard-living girls who smoked. I was a good girl. Anyone could know that if they wanted to.

Assumptions get made under two conditions:

1. Reasonable assumption - "Pink is a bad girl because she wears scary clothes and her gfs are not to be messed with." Not true, but I can see how, on the surface, it could be construed that I was bad. Either people see what they want to see because they're superior to me, or they're just too afraid or shy to approach me. I made the highest grades in my graduating class, and I was never seen smoking or drinking or sleeping around. My facts stood on their own.

2. Unreasonable assumption - "Pink is a bad girl because I don't like her." Can't help that. Oh well.


why would someone try to fix their car if they knew nothing about it or had never read the manual, why would someone assume they understand what im thinking if they dont have enough data?

Curiosity? What if they just want to put their hands on the engine? ;)

if it was me, the solution is so blatantly obvious to ASK the person instead of pulling their intentions out of my ass. the more i think about it, the more it makes little or no sense for people to treat me like that, maybe i need to tell them to "RTFM" or if they cant do that, then i need to be given the benefit of the doubt.

Then next time, when confronted with such a person (writing their intentions upon you), you might say calmly but bluntly, "What do you want?" If they can't answer a simple question, the conversation is over.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
fair enough... but i still do not understand or at all like people making assumptions. why would someone try to fix their car if they knew nothing about it or had never read the manual, why would someone assume they understand what im thinking if they dont have enough data?

if it was me, the solution is so blatantly obvious to ASK the person instead of pulling their intentions out of my ass. the more i think about it, the more it makes little or no sense for people to treat me like that, maybe i need to tell them to "RTFM" or if they cant do that, then i need to be given the benefit of the doubt.

I guess the difference between a car and a person is that the car is very definite. All the parts, engine, breaks, radiator etc are all similar from car to car. So you can know EXACTLY what a car's suppose to be like. People are a great deal fuzzier... and we think we know how others are because we know how we'll feel. Unfortunately the assumption that people see things the same is dead wrong. But still they can't help but do it anyways. :dry:
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I ask for both you and Gray to consider that people attempting to put themselves in your shoes may seem to be projecting. Also consider that they may be forced to place some level of motivation upon you if you don't allow for your own internal motivation to make itself apparent once in a while. It doesn't seem far-fetched to me that a purely T-type may consider "projection" to be any person attempting to make any sort of connection to you through the most primal of functions, the emotional.

If people around you are criticizing you unduly or unfairly, that's another matter entirely.

Also be aware that ISTPs above just about any type feel the removal of anything personally perceived to be freedom like tiny tiny bloody cuts. You have to articulate (as tiresome as that may be) to people where your boundaries are.

Usually the way I look at it is if you only have a problem with one person, it may be the other person, but if you have a problem with alot of people then it is probably you(not pointing the finger at you pink, just people in general)
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
really like ISTPs I don't kow if we would be good in a relationship together but friendships with them are fun.. definately alot of fun... and there is a sparkle to the partnership too!
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
ISTPs and ENFPs dont work out so well. At least for the ENFP. You have to build really big walls to avoid the pain caused by thier obliviousness. I could never be honest to the core with him as he was just unaware and would slice me to pieces...I could never share the Ne that overflows, as he just trampled it under his Sensing.

"are you still talking?"

One night he and his friends broke a whole collection of little planters my mom had bought for our nursury/dining room when we were expecting our child. They chunked pennies at them while I was working and I came home and there were shards of glass everywhere. The planters were stupid and ugly but my mom loved me enought to go find them and give them to me. Ten years later he still did not understand.

When i would be happy, he would say be quiet I was being too loud. When I would play outside and feel the sun, he would complain that I didnt spend time with him-watching TV on the couch.

On new years eve of 1999 instead of running and dancing under the stars, we went to bed as only "lame, stupid people" were dancing under the stars.

When I was so sick for months on end, and no one knew what was wrong, he said "Its too bad our marriage is over"

I got well again and he could not understand why our marrige was really over.

There is a whole universe of things inside of me that he never understood and I could never show him. There is such wideth and depth and powerful sways of feeling, yet he could not see it. It was as if he was blinded to it.

never trap an enfp with an istp.
 

millerm277

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
978
MBTI Type
ISTP
@happy puppy. Your istp sounds like an asshole. (no offense). I somehow have wound up becoming the personal psychologist for everyone I've ever been close to (Note: I don't mind being it).....so I kind of disagree with what you've said being indicative of all of us.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
ISTPs and ENFPs dont work out so well. At least for the ENFP. You have to build really big walls to avoid the pain caused by thier obliviousness. I could never be honest to the core with him as he was just unaware and would slice me to pieces...I could never share the Ne that overflows, as he just trampled it under his Sensing.

"are you still talking?"

One night he and his friends broke a whole collection of little planters my mom had bought for our nursury/dining room when we were expecting our child. They chunked pennies at them while I was working and I came home and there were shards of glass everywhere. The planters were stupid and ugly but my mom loved me enought to go find them and give them to me. Ten years later he still did not understand.

When i would be happy, he would say be quiet I was being too loud. When I would play outside and feel the sun, he would complain that I didnt spend time with him-watching TV on the couch.

On new years eve of 1999 instead of running and dancing under the stars, we went to bed as only "lame, stupid people" were dancing under the stars.

When I was so sick for months on end, and no one knew what was wrong, he said "Its too bad our marriage is over"

I got well again and he could not understand why our marrige was really over.

There is a whole universe of things inside of me that he never understood and I could never show him. There is such wideth and depth and powerful sways of feeling, yet he could not see it. It was as if he was blinded to it.

never trap an enfp with an istp.
Hahahaa, interesting!!!

In certain respects I did feel stifled by my ISTP ex, my feelings were always devalued, my ideas and beliefs, (or many of them, at least) were always irrational.

If he didn't get something, it often meant it didn't exist, if that makes sense, and he didn't get a lot of things about me and they way I perceived things.

But, I must say, in many ways his earthiness fostered and facilitated my earthiness, there was always a sense of reality, application, experience and practice, or simply, *doing-ness* when I was with him.

Eh, but he could be boring and predictable with his constant need to be utilitarian and practical about things.
 
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