Explain to me what seems so robotish? I already know, but I want to hear your perception, in your words
You've dated some immature ISTPs. Not much else to it.
I've tried dating some and the whole relationship being on their terms and extreme need for independence/alone time seems so selfish and detached. I can't imagine putting a hobby over other human beings either. Thinking about ISTPs in those terms makes me feel sad, since again, I tend to like the idea of them when I meet them.
My whole life, my relationships with other people, friends, family, whatever, have always had to be on my terms, and if you didn't like it I wouldn't bother, because I always did whatever I wanted to do. The older I get, the more I realize how childish and selfish that is/was, and that you can't have fair and fulfilling relationships if you don't give back at least some of what you take. It provides deeper relationships with people which feels good and makes me feel not so alone, as I don't always want to feel alone.
I'm drawn to people who appreciate their alone time. I can also relax, do "nothing", and daydream, but just not in the same sense that you do.
It's funny, because I think they can be drawn to me since I also need a lot of alone time to daydream and whatnot, but then they cannot understand how I seemingly do "nothing" with that time. And while on the surface we may have similar interests, the reasons seem to be opposite. I also don't like what feels like a "game" to me in a relationship, and so the whole "don't call me, I'll call you" vibe they give is a big turn-off. I need someone who is more emotionally available and sensitive to my needs.
I don't get the perception that you do "nothing" with your do-nothing-time. You're dreaming, in your head, thinking about anything and everything. Tell me more about what you do in your do-nothing-time. I want to know and understand.
In fact, I think we are quite a bit more similar than you may realize. When I am in my zone and doing, it's the same as your do-nothing-time, in the sense that nothing productive is getting done, like work or chores.
I tune out the "world" and my stresses of life, and tune in to only my immediate environment and my interaction with it. I interact with it through my senses, and during that time nothing else in the world matters. I need this time, like I need the air I breathe, in order to feel whole, to feel healthy mentally and physically, to feel happy. I need to feel through my senses, to feel the sun, wind, and water on my skin, in order to feel alive.
I can tell when I don't get enough physical stimulation because my body begins to physically crave it, and I will do whatever I have to do to get it. If that means running away from my situation until I collapse from exhaustion, it will be so.
Friendships are easier. Romances and the dating game seems like so much work, and it never appealed to me as a way of finding a partner. In a partner, I want a best friend first.
I also notice ISTPs seem to value friendships more than romantic relationships.... I suppose friendships are easier for robots
The only difference I see between my friends and romances are that I just don't have sex with my friends, and that I'm not as emotionally close with them as I would like to be with a partner. I still consider them intimate relationships because I've never seen the value in superficiality and having a lot of acquaintances that I call "friends".