[ISTP] I faint twice...

[Domino]

Those ISTPs have good reflexes.

Be grateful you weren't around Ns exclusively, otherwise you'd have a nasty concussion.

Seriously.

Now that I think about it, it was the same guy who caught me both times. He stood there eyeballing me like one of those dogs trained to sense when someone's about to pass out or have a seizure (sorry - I couldn't think of a better way to say that). A split second before I went legless, he grabbed me. He also taught me how to fight like an Army Ranger. He'd show me some things and then tell me to attack him. I remember being on his back at one point pushing on his carotid artery and him basically shouting that no no no he didn't feel faint yet and to try harder. That was hysterical. He's so big and I'm a sneeze.

He was a really good friend. I should mail him a big pile of cake.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Cake is good, mail him the cake, and a warning. You will be subject to his conspiracy no longer.

 

[Domino]

You're so right. I need to nip this in the bud.

A premium Carvell ice cream whale cake it is!

 

[Atomic Fiend]

That's the spirit! I knew you could do it and the warning?

 

[Domino]

Dear [but not so dear that you have some kind of control over my writing this quite stern warning] ISTP friend: I have bought you this fine cake. Please do not use your ether on me as this is all I have! - Pink

 

[Atomic Fiend]

I see. Now I think I'll take the cake to the post office, congrats pink.

 

[Domino]

If I find out you've eaten the flippers again, so help me....

 

[Atomic Fiend]

 

[Domino]

Dear [but not so dear that I can't make vague threats that say nothing really more than implying a quasi-punishment that most likely is little else than a finger-shake] INFJ friend: Please send it priority. A half-melted smiling flipperless whale cake might look sinister. - Pink

 

[Atomic Fiend]

*grabs note from pink reads it*

Wait, why didn't you just say this?

 

[Domino]

*grabs note from pink reads it*

Wait, why didn't you just say this?

Because... I blame Canada! And France! And the People's Republic of Central Africa! And 7-11!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

You are eating Fig Newtons and you are not currently fainting. However, I'm willing to bet that when you fainted in the presence of this ISTP on two separate occasions, there were NO Fig Newtons to be found in the general vicinity.

What I'm getting at, of course, is that Fig Newtons contain deswoonewtonose, a chemical compound that retards the fainting impulse. The next time you see this ISTP, check his car trunk. I predict you will find that he has bought up all the Fig Newtons from stores in your postal district in a nefarious plot to make you faint in his arms.

Of course, while they provide protection, Fig Netwons are gross. I recommend replacing them with Strawberry Newtons at your earliest convenience.

 

[Domino]

FMW, you are a magnanimous and brilliant analyst. I consider myself saved, and am grateful for your timely advice. I have also replaced the Fig Newtons with Fig Newmans, gluten-free organic joy.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

So can I have the cake then, instead of eating it at INTPc behind your back?

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

FMW, you are a magnanimous and brilliant analyst. I consider myself saved, and am grateful for your timely advice. I have also replaced the Fig Newtons with Fig Newmans, gluten-free organic joy.

Are those real? That is a tremendous pun. And think nothing of it. I emerge to help those in need and just as quickly slink back into the night. It's how I roll.

 

[Domino]

Paul Newman's fig cookies are the shizzle. I highly recommend them.

*puts SH in a time-out corner*

 

[Atomic Fiend]

 

[millerm277]

Be happy we were around! I seem to have a 6th sense for noticing when something like that is about to happen, and...unlike some types, actually do something! My major save was catching someone that was falling backwards off a tall A-frame ladder....I'm very happy they were light.

 

[Domino]

AHA! A-frames ladders have joined the list of suspicious ISTP attracting/indicating objects along with cookies! What if I were to eat a cookie whilst standing upon an A-frame ladder?! What then! I suspect a rip in space-time.

 

[millerm277]

What then! I suspect a rip in space-time.

And poof! You'll be surrounded by 30 istp's waiting for you to need to be caught.