[ESTP] How do you deal with ESTPs?

[Amargith]

Apparently the naked cook had the right idea...

 

[entropie]

Regarding the OP title: has anyone mentioned guns yet ?

 

[Halla74]

The way to distract an ESTP is to simply touch him. If you are speaking, a gentle graze on the forearm will make him notice you. Very touch sensitive, you boys are.

YOU are very, very dangerous!

Knowledge have you of workings that inner mind rules body with...

 

[Amargith]

Nothing like the voice of experience, Hallah *s jeno*

Do tell more...

 

[Halla74]

Nothing like the voice of experience, Hallah *s jeno*

Do tell more...

Jenocyde is very, very, very observant. Also, I know she dated an ESTP so she nailed this head on.

As dedicated as ESTPs are to entertaining all within earshot, they are not immune to distraction. We easily filter out voices, smells, and other common sensory stimuli. BUT - touch is different. When someone touches you, they are in your personal space, and gently telling you that they are aware of you and want you to know that. It is one of the most subtle, but most powerful means of asking someone for a moment of their time. Touch = trust. I would rather spend my time with someone who took notice of me and trusted me, then entertain a room full of strangers, any day of the week. The mightiest of beasts can be tamed in but a moment if the right music is played.

 

[Amargith]

Sounds like the beast is soothed as long as the senses are tantalized

 

[jenocyde]

You guys are hilarious!!!

Yes, the beast is tamed by touch. And ironically, they are the only ones that make me turn my brain off and respond solely to touch. Usually for me, stimulation is almost purely mental. But the raw physicality of ESTPs is contagious and infectious. Such beasts.

 

[Amargith]

^ agreed, surrendering to touch rules, and that primal vibe about you guys makes it way more likely to happen

 

[Halla74]

Sounds like the beast is soothed as long as the senses are tantalized

Guilty!

Yes, the beast is tamed by touch. And ironically, they are the only ones that make me turn my brain off and respond solely to touch. Usually for me, stimulation is almost purely mental. But the raw physicality of ESTPs is contagious and infectious. Such beasts.

That goes both ways. A beautiful woman with a brain is truly a force to be reckoned with. It's never been any fun for me to entertain bimbos, seriously, I can't do it. If I can't talk with a girl then they are of limited utility.

^ agreed, surrendering to touch rules, and that primal vibe about you guys makes it way more likely to happen

It is seriously nice to know that the entire world has not bought into to people being politically correct and meek under the guise of false humility. You girls are very sweet, thanks for not being ESTP-haters.

 

[Halla74]

I have sex with them then devour their spirits, play drums with their radii and suck on their marrow till there's no tomorrow.

Will you please kidnap me?

 

[jenocyde]

That goes both ways. A beautiful woman with a brain is truly a force to be reckoned with. It's never been any fun for me to entertain bimbos, seriously, I can't do it. If I can't talk with a girl then they are of limited utility.

Oh sweetie, I'm not talking just about talking. For me, sexuality needs to envelop my brain. I'm talking about experimentation and exploration. Seeing what makes a man tick. Logging the results, pushing the limits for the next time. Seeing how much or how little I can do to provoke a reaction. What makes you tingle, what makes you get goosebumps, what makes you scream, what makes you wince. Observation and investigation, purely mental. And stimulating.

 

[Amargith]

Same process, I just use intuition and emotional radar for my findings
My main goal is being in sync and perfectly *knowing* how to respond to eachother for maximum effect.

What is that like for STPs, actually...do you guys need to make that click or is that mood instant? And what constitutes good sex for you guys? The best possible physical feeling?

 

[entropie]

Same process, I just use intuition and emotional radar for my findings
My main goal is being in sync and perfectly *knowing* how to respond to eachother for maximum effect.

You should become my strategical nuclear weapons deployment commander

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Okay. I read this entire thread.

Mo you said at one point that you were aggressive with ESTP and they backed off. I'm curious as to what you describe as aggressive vs. assertive?? I ask because what you deem as aggressive the ESTP may just read it as assertive and vice versa.

I don't know many ESTP's (one but we are very close) and I know one ISFP (more as an acquaintance). So I am thinking of these people when I make my comments. However, these ESTP's you describe could just be assholes. Assholes come in all types.


ESTP's don't respond well to tip-toeing around problems, issues, emotions, etc. They just won't "get it" unless you're blunt about it. As an INTP it's refreshing when don't have to "feeling translate" my opinion or response to someone or something the ESTP said. You get what you get. Good or bad.

They aren't very emotionally astute. (ESTP I know broke up with his INFJ girlfriend about two minutes after they had sex - his response: "It seemed like the right time.")

They respond well to people who aren't afraid of stating or showing where they stand. Maybe this is because they know what they can or can't "sell" or "get away with." I don't know. But if you don't show this trait I can see where they would not respect you or take advantage. More likely they just wouldn't care or take you into consideration.


As far as ISFP. I can definitely see how conflict would occur between these types. I think of ISFP's as gentle, somewhat serious, and emotionally sensitive but they have a strong inner core that's not always visible to outsiders. Since this isn't always visible it's not going to be in the ESTP sphere of noticeability. Maybe this is where problems occur. I'm curious about hearing Mo's answer to my first question though

 

[Strawberrylover]

ESTP's don't respond well to tip-toeing around problems, issues, emotions, etc. They just won't "get it" unless you're blunt about it. As an INTP it's refreshing when don't have to "feeling translate" my opinion or response to someone or something the ESTP said. You get what you get. Good or bad.

I think this definitely helps, although I always wonder how much of what you say they can just fling back in your face. For me as an ENFP, being around an ESTP forces me to hone in on exactly what I'm thinking and immediately figure out where I stand. So it's kind of thrilling, but nothing I can sustain over long stretches.

I haven't read this entire thread but am looking forward to for some pointers on dealing with ESTPs -- especially the ESTP women. Some seem interesting and witty, some just

I knew this ESTP girl a while back who deployed every trick in the books to get her way at work -- dressing provocatively, platinum blond hair, childlike high-pitched voice, four-inch heels IN SNOW. Just manipulative with the men to the MAX and VERY obnoxiously so. (ESTPs on this board. Does she make sense to you? Because she totally does not to me and I never understood her motivations for, um, anything.) She sucked at her job and eventually had to move to another company.

So my immediate response to the question posed by this thread: If in the case that an unhealthy ESTP is really making your life difficult, just wait for them to self-implode. They seem to do that a LOT. OR if that does not happen and you can't get away from them, here's my ENFP Machiavellian guide to manipulating an ESTP: set up the system against them. For the Feeling types out there, you know when people are dissatisfied with an ESTP and ways that you can amplify that. Feelings are their blind spots.

FYI, George W. Bush and John McCain are apparently ESTPs.

Look at the ways they met their downfall: 1. Self-implosion FOR SURE in Bush's case. 2. Who else was it but an ENFP (Obama) who beat out an ESTP and an ESTJ (Hillary) for the presidency? I'm quite proud of that.

 

[Jeffster]

2. Who else was it but an ENFP (Obama) who beat out an ESTP and an ESTJ (Hillary) for the presidency? I'm quite proud of that.

Obama is not ENFP and Hillary is not ESTJ. But nice try.

 

[Athenian200]

Well, I do have some advice, being as my Dad was an unhealthy ESTP... but it may sound a little negative.

- Keep an eye on them over time. Watch what they do with you and other people, and try to figure out what it is they do when they make you feel trapped. Eventually, you'll see a pattern (or a few patterns), and you'll see how to dodge it and trip them up on their own words. "Accidentally" throwing their own words/ideas back in their face right at the moment when it's inconvenient for them can be effective. It often leads them to back WAY off when they realize you're more trouble than you're worth. They prefer easier targets, because they're so plentiful.

- Like others have said, you could try asking what's in it for you if you do something for them. I've seen people deal with them that way, and it seems to work. Personally, I'd have trouble doing that (because I want them to think I'm playing along even though I'm actually undermining them), but it might work for you.

 

[stellar renegade]

I'll have to admit I've known a couple ESTPs who were like what you guys are saying but it was because they had personal issues. Any type can be messed up, just like someone else said. It's just that you notice it more with us, that's all.

jenocyde, your last post made me tremble. Will you take me home with you???//?

There's this ESFJ girl at work who's with an ISTP guy and I tend to not be able to be attracted to a girl when she's with a friend of mine, but damn does she get to me when she pokes or tries to tickle me. I simply can't take it, it's not fair! When he got fired she said, "Well if he doesn't come back you can be my boy toy." So messed up, but he doesn't seem to care about the playful "flirtations".

Recently she was asking me what he had said while she walked away, and started poking me to get it out of me, and finally said, "Do you want me to pinch your nipples?" to which I said, "YES!" and she hid her head and cracked up laughing. He made a funny expression and was just like, "Sexy!" or "Scandalous!" or something like that. haha. He's a really cool guy.

I guess you know, he knows who she comes home to.

P.S. Halla, you are very wise indeed.

 

[Halla74]

P.S. Halla, you are very wise indeed.

Ha! Thanks, Bro! Any wisdom I have managed to acrrue has been the result of life beating me in the head with a stick, over, and over, and over again. Good thing I have a thick skull.

 

[stellar renegade]

hahahah. You don't know just how hard I laughed at that, cuz of how much I can relate...