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  1. #21
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    I know.

    That describes him perfectly and, believe me, I've not mistyped him. I'm speaking in particular about my former housemate but a lot of what I mentioned also applies to others of the type that I've known.

    Perhaps my type, with our behind-the-scenes communication style, is just incompatible with that particular type. I'd like to hear from ISFPs on this.

    I'm struggling to think of people in my life who have this type pattern, but I have to say if I do know any ESTPs, they aren't obnoxious like your friend. I'm not all that good at accurately typing everyone I know, so that may be part of the problem. It's possible my boss is an ESTP. If so, she's an extremely easy person to work with and a very healthy example of that type plus the In Charge interaction style. She's much more interested in GETTING THINGS DONE than in power-plays or manipulation games, both of which she'd call a total waste of time. When she senses everyone isn't on board with a new program or policy that we all need to get started with in order to make the library run smoother, then she'll call everybody together and say "Allright, people, here's why we're doing what we're doing ... and now here's why it benefits YOU as well as everybody else.... (I believe this is the "selling" that Lukepd was talking about.) She doesn't just want to order people around, she wants to sell people on ideas, programs and services that we could actually all find benefit in, and if you don't agree with her, she's very flexible about changing your job description so that it DOES benefit you, as well as everybody else.

    With people who are manipulative, controlling or rude (regardless of their type) I avoid them as much as possible. I once left working for one library branch and applied to work at another because the boss at the first branch was an annoying, negative micro-manager. Sometimes these people will want to know why I'm avoiding them, and if the case, I tell them exactly what they did and how irritating it is. Point by point. I go down the list telling them all the stuff I can't stand about their behavior. (but in the case of the boss I left, I figured it might come back to bite me. I think she knows I can't stand her and won't ever work for her again, but she doesn't know exactly why.)

    I would think if the person's an ESTP, he or she would be concerned with the fact that they've managed to make a huge negative impact on somebody else. Since healthy SPs like to make positive impacts, telling the ESTP about his negative impact would probably hit home.

    Sarah
    ISFP

  2. #22
    Dali
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    So I would say the best way to deal with them is with an ironic detachment.
    That's what I try to do at least.
    I just might try that. Wish me luck.

  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    I just might try that. Wish me luck.
    Cool. Hope it works out.

  4. #24
    Dali
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    I would think if the person's an ESTP, he or she would be concerned with the fact that they've managed to make a huge negative impact on somebody else. Since healthy SPs like to make positive impacts, telling the ESTP about his negative impact would probably hit home.

    Sarah
    ISFP
    I haven't tried to confront the others directly but, with that guy, any remark about his actions was misconstrued as a personal attack and he gets vehemently defensive. I've been browsing old threads and apparently, the best time to 'confront' an ESTP is when they're busy working on something. Might try that with my dad.

    I hope I'll still have all my teeth intact afterwards...

  5. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    I haven't tried to confront the others directly but, with that guy, any remark about his actions was misconstrued as a personal attack and he gets vehemently defensive. I've been browsing old threads and apparently, the best time to 'confront' an ESTP is when they're busy working on something. Might try that with my dad.

    I hope I'll still have all my teeth intact afterwards...
    Really! That's interesting I hate being interrupted when I'm working on something. But then I'm ISFP.

    Good luck. Break a leg.

  6. #26
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    First of all thankyou Sarah for your excellent post ! Even though the OP ignored it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    I haven't tried to confront the others directly but, with that guy, any remark about his actions was misconstrued as a personal attack and he gets vehemently defensive. I've been browsing old threads and apparently, the best time to 'confront' an ESTP is when they're busy working on something. Might try that with my dad.

    I hope I'll still have all my teeth intact afterwards...
    NOT ESTP behavior buddy. We are one of the least likely types to see something as a personal attack.

    ESTPs are the ultimate "water off a ducks back" kind. I'm serious. You've got something mixed up. Nothing effects the ESTP on a personal level they simply go "whatever" and move on. We resist closure

    We are far MORE likely to accidentally say something to someone else and they deem it as a personal attack. There are a few F types that take what we say to heart and shutdown.

    "May fall into the habit of ignoring conflict, rather than solving it" - quote from ESTP personality page

    This one is 100% true. We ignore conflict, we don't care. thats J behavior to seek closure on it. "next!" is what we say constantly in our head.

    "Not personally threatened by conflict or criticism" - quote from ESTP personality page


    You're are a very misinformed individual. Please accept that you may be wrong about the type here because from the quote of yours above I can 100% with certainty guarantee that it is not ESTP behavior. (Not to mention all the other J dominant traits you have mentioned.)

    ESTJ Weaknesses

    * Tendency to believe that they are always right
    * Tendency to need to always be in charge
    * Impatient with inefficiency and sloppiness
    * Not naturally in tune with what others are feeling
    * Not naturally good at expressing their feelings and emotions
    * May inadvertantly hurt others with insensitive language
    * Tendency to be materialistic and status-conscious
    * Generally uncomfortable with change, and moving into new territories

  7. #27
    Senior Member SillyGoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    I haven't tried to confront the others directly but, with that guy, any remark about his actions was misconstrued as a personal attack and he gets vehemently defensive. I've been browsing old threads and apparently, the best time to 'confront' an ESTP is when they're busy working on something. Might try that with my dad.

    I hope I'll still have all my teeth intact afterwards...

    I'm still kicking around me being ESTP, so takes this with a grain.

    But if someone decided to "confront" me about something personal to them while I'm working, well you're not going to get a heart to heart conversation. I will most likely brush you off while I am working and say a few pat remarks, even say I'm sorry just to get you to go away. And then I'll most likely forget what you just said and not on purpose eithe.

    If it is something serious to another person, I'd expect them to know when it is an appropriate time to approach me. Confronting while I'm working on something seems very rash and unstable on somebody else's part to me. I would also think they are just talking in the moment and haven't cooled off and really thought about what they are saying. That would also lead to me brushing off more.

    For whatever its worth, still not sure of my type.
    "My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips

  8. #28
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    1.Realize that they're gonna do what they want to do.
    2.Accept it.
    3.Chill.

  9. #29
    Dali
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lukepd View Post
    NOT ESTP behavior buddy. We are one of the least likely types to see something as a personal attack.

    ESTPs are the ultimate "water off a ducks back" kind. I'm serious. You've got something mixed up. Nothing effects the ESTP on a personal level they simply go "whatever" and move on. We resist closure
    "I'm totally guilty of feeling like I'm being accused of things all of the time" - http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...html#post85904

    That sentence I quoted could have as well been written by any of the ESTPs I've known.

    Though, of course, there's variance within every type. I just haven't had the luck yet to run into someone of this type that didn't have those qualities I mentioned in varying degrees.


    You're are a very misinformed individual. Please accept that you may be wrong about the type here because from the quote of yours above I can 100% with certainty guarantee that it is not ESTP behavior. (Not to mention all the other J dominant traits you have mentioned.)

    ESTJ Weaknesses

    * Tendency to believe that they are always right
    * Tendency to need to always be in charge
    * Impatient with inefficiency and sloppiness
    * Not naturally in tune with what others are feeling
    * Not naturally good at expressing their feelings and emotions
    * May inadvertantly hurt others with insensitive language
    * Tendency to be materialistic and status-conscious
    * Generally uncomfortable with change, and moving into new territories
    ESTP Weaknesses

    · Can become morose or even antagonistic in situations offering little promise of advantage or the possibility to “do something.”
    · May be manipulative, taking advantage of other people’s weaknesses for their own gain.

    · Can be overconfident of their own cunning or ability, ignoring problems which eventually catch up with them on their blind side.
    · In relationship situations may be overbearing, demanding and/or uncaring of the feelings of their partner.
    · May become so engrossed in challenging activities that they lose all sense of proportion, neglecting themselves and their relationships.
    · Without challenges of their own, may become focused on the behavior of others, particularly that of family or employees, insisting that they live up to what the ESTP sees as the proper code or level of accomplishment.


    Quote Originally Posted by SillyGoose View Post
    ...if someone decided to "confront" me about something personal to them while I'm working, well you're not going to get a heart to heart conversation. I will most likely brush you off while I am working and say a few pat remarks, even say I'm sorry just to get you to go away. And then I'll most likely forget what you just said and not on purpose either.

    If it is something serious to another person, I'd expect them to know when it is an appropriate time to approach me. Confronting while I'm working on something seems very rash and unstable on somebody else's part to me. I would also think they are just talking in the moment and haven't cooled off and really thought about what they are saying. That would also lead to me brushing off more.

    For whatever its worth, still not sure of my type.
    Perhaps 'working' was not the most appropriate term. It's better explained here -
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...html#post85730

  10. #30
    Dali
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    1.Realize that they're gonna do what they want to do.
    2.Accept it.
    3.Chill.
    1. That applies to any SP
    2. How does that answer my question?
    3. I'm starving.

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