Are you sure this friend is not ESTJ? Desire to control you and constantly tell you what's best for you sounds awfully J to me.
Maybe the ESTP in question is just wanting his own way, as ThatGirl suggested, being needy but not giving back, maybe it comes accross to others as desire to manipulate but for the ESTP is not desire to manipulate for it's own sake but just living to have needs met.
I always think the fictional character Scarlett O'Hara example of unhealthy ESTP using Fe as a tool to get what she wants in the moment and next moment bored and onto something else.
I roll up my sleeves and show them my Ne. Gets 'em every time, and they won't ever come back for more.
Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?
I don't know what all the fuss is about crappy ESTPs... The ones that I know are actually really likable, fun, funny, charming, FAIR people. Maybe a little pushy sometimes, but that's just their "selling" thing happening. Certainly not controlling. Definitely not needy.
If the ESTPs in question really are ESTPs, then they're probably unhealthy ones.
You pretty much said it all, except we aren't crappy
I got what you mean though
I think its pretty ridiculous too... all this stuff about a type that at the end of the day is arguably the EASIEST type to get along with
Seriously if you can't get along with an ESTP you may as well just give up hahaha, you don't stand a chance with some of the other types lol
Also ESTPs are uncanny at blending into just about every situation there is... LAN party one night, pounding music the next, its great
I get the whole being accused of pushiness thing when it's actually a misunderstanding, I'm just trying to give someone all the info they need to make up their mind, but they often see it (particularly F's) as me "recommending" it and that I'd be offended if they didn't go with my suggestion etc, so they sort of talk themselves, in a way, into feeling pressured when I don't mean any pressure at all, and I've never had any problem with anyone saying "no thanks, I think I've already got one I'd rather go with" or "thanks for the info, I'll ponder it over and get back to you" or "thanks for the info, I pondered it over and decided to go with something else".
I think this is something that's common, to a greater or lesser extent, to most ExxP's. I know even my ENFP brother gets it too. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with people and why they can't just say things - you know, like people are dithering around wondering where to go for dinner, nobody's suggesting any place and nothing's happening, yet everyone's clearly hungry and impatient so I'll pull some restaurant name out of a hat as it were, just to get things moving, and say you know, why not go there, it's reasonably priced, good enough food, it's nearby and plenty of room etc, and everyone just goes "yeah alright we'll do that". Then when we're sitting at the table eating, people will start moaning about it and THEN they start talking about other places they might rather have gone to, and blame me for the fact that we're here, saying "well you MADE us go here" lol When all I was doing was suggesting someplace and giving the pros and cons, the idea was for them to suggest something back and we could all have a quick brainstorm and reach a consensus!!
But, about being the "easiest type to get along with", I'm not sure I'd back that up. I mean, not that I'm saying ESTP's aren't easy to get along with for me, but really who you find easy to get along with is totally subjective and different from one person to the next innit, it all depends what you're starting at. Like learning a language, there's no such thing as a language that's harder to learn or easier to learn, period - it all depends what your native language is - it'll always be easier to learn one similar to it and harder to learn one that's very different.
Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!
"When it all comes down to dust
I will kill you if I must
I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen
Oy... ESTPs are easy for most people to get along with at first, and in light-hearted moments... but they can be pretty taxing once they are resolute about something. I've been best friends with an ESTP since we were about 15, and when she's in her oppositional Si function, I just want to strangle her! This says it best: "They can become stubborn about their perceptions of how things once were and fixed on how that recollection links to the present."
Basically, she met me when I was an undeveloped ISTP... just a kid always almost always in my Ti function. About a decade later, she still brings up stubborn moments I've had in the past and has a hard time accepting that I've developed into a more balanced person. Example: "Oh, come on Steph... you can't have a roommate... remember like 6 years ago when we were on that trip with everyone and you got moody after a week?"
Another example is when me, my family and friends all first took the MBTI test (we just kinda passed it around and discussed through e-mail)... she goes: "Okay guys, answer HONESTLY! Don't make me have to do it for y'all." ... She tested out as an ENFP. Later I suggested she was actually an ESTP, and everyone, including herself, agreed (Except when it came to the negative points of the ESTP... she insisted those were my weaknesses not hers... although everyone agrees I am definitely introverted, not extroverted)
Phew.. I love her to death, but she can be a little close-minded sometimes... And for me, it's really frustrating when she can only seem to comment on what she perceives as my weaknesses and can never really say all that many positive things. As an ISTP, I don't really need a whole lot of praise, but a lot of negativity can leave me disoriented
No, no.. Sorry, I didn't explain that well. Not in the first four. This is something I got from cognitiveprocesses.com. She uses it in her "opposing function"... her 5th function. So whenever she's in this opposing function (definition here), this is how she becomes when she's argumentative or stubborn... does that make a little more sense? I don't know if this is all ESTPs or just her or whether she's not completely balanced yet... but this is definitely how she relates to me.
But that quote I said in the previous post was from a book describing an ESTP in the 5th function, called "Understanding yourself and others: an introduction to the personality type code." Google books has some of it on there, and it's really interesting to check out