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  1. #111

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    I do believe some of us / the isxp's are poor communicators.
    It's like we need extra extra comfort and effort to bring our inner worlds out on the table.
    so it doesn't happen a lot.
    except maybe in cry and excitement sessions and on forums like these :P
    Luckily there are E people who beg for attention :P and they force you to tell something about yourself, LOL.
    It still puts me off sumtimesss (...) but at the same time I do appreciate the effort.
    It's cool being me, It's cool knowing a nice E.

  2. #112
    Senior Member riel's Avatar
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    Which one? Before you judge isxps, get to know them first. There may be other reasons why they haven't returned your phone calls, emails, etc. Your statement applies to all types, not just to isxps.

    In my case, I'm poor at communicating verbally..except with people who are extremely close with me..but I return my emails and phone calls as a sign of respect/I have to. Any way, if I were communicating with you, I'll return phone calls and emails.



  3. #113

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    ^ Good points.

    I like it how you said it in pink.

  4. #114
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Mmmm...long reply is long.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    Every ISTP in my family also has an issue with keeping in touch. The ones in my family don't need to establish contact as frequently as most Es do and that has gotten the Es in my family a little frustrated. Personally, I don't mind doing most of the calling in order to keep in touch and I try not to guilt them into showing greater initiative in that respect.

    Just so you know, some might brand you a poor communicator.
    It's hard to guilt me into calling people. I don't think much about the phone. I hardly call anyone and I forget to do things like that even after I've been told to (and sometimes when I even want to). So yeah...phoning is alright if I receive the call. Don't expect me to make it unless I'm going to ask you for something.

    When I was in high school, a guy I knew who had a crush on me would call me up a couple of times a week and we'd talk online too (he had just graduated and I was a junior, I think...). Anyway, one day he said something about giving me *his* number so I could call him up instead of him calling me. And I didn't have feelings for him, but he was a cool friend. I kind played the dense card, ignoring the fact that he prolly had feelings for me (he'd never specifically said anything about feelings...). We-ell, I remember saying something like "I don't want your number 'cause I'm not going to call it...'cause I don't call anyone..." and I was being brutally honest. He stopped calling after that, which made me kinda sad 'cause I thought we made good friends. :-/

    Another thing to think about is that sometimes I avoid talking in general because I know what I really want to say will hurt someone's feelings. I don't often pick up on that kind of thing (altho I've gotten better in recent years). It's a pretty big deal to say the least. I know someone won't like something, so I avoid it at great costs. Unfortunately (I think?), to me a lot of people are "disposable" (for lack of a better word). Maybe easily replaceable.... If I lose one friend to lack of communication, we probably didn't get along that well to begin with. Oh darn.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    The ISXP's I know are excellent at communicating when they actually want to communicate with you.
    Wanting to communicate is key. I feel no need to associate with those that I don't want to associate with. And communicating is the easiest line of association to kill off.

    Quote Originally Posted by aguanile View Post
    ...I have definitely lost touch with friends that have moved away because I hate the telephone.
    Definitely. I hardly keep in touch with my friends from college except over Facebook and AIM...and I don't talk to most of them using those mediums very often anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by maliafee View Post
    Agreed. The thing is, we can like you a lot and just not feel up to talking. Sorry. We need space. It's not intentional and most of the time hope or assume you don't care and will understand.

    Or, on the other hand, we could be trying to avoid you.

    I guess you'll have to guess...
    True! I'm a huge fan of space. And I might use that to avoid people, too

    Quote Originally Posted by Brouhaha View Post
    ...She literally couldn't comprehend why I didn't think about my inner feelings, and told me so quite forcefully. I guess she was trying to force me into it? She just didn't understand that I don't even think about it.
    Me too! I think that how I feel about something is irrelevant. Who cares how I feel? What difference will it really make if I bother to conjure feelings up about something? None that I can see. (also reflects my opinion on religion...what I choose to believe in won't change the existence or nonexistence of a higher being, after life, soul, karma, etc...)
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  5. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    Me too! I think that how I feel about something is irrelevant. Who cares how I feel? What difference will it really make if I bother to conjure feelings up about something? None that I can see. (also reflects my opinion on religion...what I choose to believe in won't change the existence or nonexistence of a higher being, after life, soul, karma, etc...)
    This is interesting! I was in a relationship with an ENFJ (very unhealthy one I should say) who always tried to get my inner thoughts and feelings out. Geez. Sometimes I was thinking but couldn't remember what about... sometimes I wasn't thinking about anything, just feeling my environment. That wasn't acceptable to him, though. *Ugh*

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