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[ISTJ] ISTJ Heartbreak

E.Thomas

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2008
Messages
13
MBTI Type
ISTJ
During a relationship I'll simulate conversations in my head and formulate responses based on reactions I think that I will get from different responses. Then if something ever happens, good or bad, I'm completely ready, but I'll fumble it up because I have to vocalize it.

Which leads to another round of analysis, and so on.

After a break-up I tend to look at all the facts in an objective manner. Then I realize the times I totally messed up and feel guilty. I won't talk about exes much because I have a voice in my head that tells me I'm sounding whiny or talking about her too much, even if it is one sentence.
 

moonbaby

New member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
100
I know for myself....that having let someone get close to me (when I let so very FEW in)...letting them go is impossible. I dont think I ever truly let go. For some reason ISTJs seem like they are better at blocking that out than Ns. Or are you just burying it? Do the feelings really ever die?
 

Cimarron

IRL is not real
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
3,417
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I know for myself....that having let someone get close to me (when I let so very FEW in)...letting them go is impossible. I dont think I ever truly let go. For some reason ISTJs seem like they are better at blocking that out than Ns. Or are you just burying it? Do the feelings really ever die?
Oh no, it's often still there. Letting go in the emotional sense takes a long time, probably because my emotions were invested so deeply, like you said.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
Whenever I get rejected by a girl, I usually get really arrogant for an hour, and then close up for like a few days. I can't imagine what it'd be like after a failed relationship. I think I'd go a 6 month period where I didn't trust any women.
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
Hearing about any heartbroken ISTJ is heartbreaking... One ISTJ I knew actually went about making the girl in question's life HELL!!! I felt sorry for him but there came a point when it just was cruel and horrid and I lost all sympathy... NOTE TO ALL ISTJs - I am NOT saying that this is how all ISTJs react he was a particularly unhealthy one!
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
My ISTJ roommate just was let down by this girl that he really liked. They were close friends, he finally got up the nerve to ask her out, they dated for two weeks and she swiftly backed out on him. He is completely shocked and sad.

How can I be a good friend to him? Suggestions? I want to support him.

The poor fellow. :sorry: The orange juice and donut was very thoughtful and I am sure he truly appreciated it. Since he is ISTJ, he probably won't talk to anyone about what happened. At least, not willingly. You could pry it out of him I'm sure, but it's best just to let him bring it up if he wants. That is something I fear, failing somebody like that. In my opinion, that was pretty brave of him to ask her out in the first place- a milestone for an ISTJ. When it only lasts two weeks , thats just being mean. I hope she at least gave him an explanation.

Well, just continue to be nice to him. He may even turn his attention toward you? :huh:
 

Habba

New member
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
988
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
1w9
In my opinion, that was pretty brave of him to ask her out in the first place- a milestone for an ISTJ.

My thoughts exactly.

In the past, I've had few crushes, but I never dared to darn thing about it. And after all these years, I feel very sad about it. What if I would have dared to ask that girl...

I hope she at least gave him an explanation.

I hope not just "an" explanation, but "the" explanation. When my girlfriend broke up with me, she gave me several explanations... and everyone was as bad as the other. That was probably the most devastating thing in the break-up... I felt like she thought I couldn't handle the truth. :unsure:

Well, I'm somewhat over it now... I just want to stay as far from her as possible.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Yeah, rejection really hits the ISTJ hard. Girls have always given me the simlar line of "I don't want to date because it might ruin our friendship" whereas I know darn well that I already ruined it by bringing it up! So, it's kind of like a loose end...and you just walk away.

I know there was a girl [my guess is ENFP, but she didn't seem sad when I said no?] who was slightly interested in me and stupid me, I decided "oh I'm too busy right now and I don't want to dissapoint you" and all that... that was many years ago... and I have never had a chance since! Talk about shooting myself in the foot! I think about what would have happened if I just said yes... but oh well. Life goes on.
 

kiki

New member
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
5
MBTI Type
ISTJ
ha ah ha...i'm not alone feeling like this (heartbroken)...wow!i'm pure ISTJ...*amazed
 

ColonelGadaafi

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2008
Messages
773
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
Si
The real question is: DO ISTJ HAVE HEARTS?. Last time they did an autospsy on a pure ISTJ specimen, they found a mechanical gizmo attached to where the heart should have been, the gizmo served as replacement to organic heart, and it also conjured some form of substance which it mixed with the blood. Biologists theorize that this substance is the main cause for the ISTJ's supreme discipline and robotic mannerism.
 

Rachelinpa

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
878
MBTI Type
ENFP
Of course he has a heart! They're like Jim and Pam from The Office... he tells her twice of how he feeling and she deflects... I told him he should transfer branches. What worked for Jim may work for him!
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
We have hearts. We just....keep it behind thousands of steel walls.

This song makes me think ISTJ in relationships:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyxr20hoC9E]The Math[/YOUTUBE]
 
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