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  1. #1
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Default Connecting/Bonding with ISTJs

    Male or female ISTJs how do you bond with friends, gf/bf, husband/wife? I know that I am able to bond with people by talking, sharing information or giving advice, but as I've recently learned ISTJs aren't big on talking about personal/emotional stuff. So what type of things make you feel as if you have a connection with another human being? WHat type of things help you to trust another person?

  2. #2
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Like this

    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

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  3. #3
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Okay sorry, I had to be a biiit silly. But games seem to be the best in my opinion when it comes to my ISTJ friend. Common interests tend to help, and games are easy emotion-devoid ways of connecting to people in a lighthearted manner so it's convenient for either party.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  4. #4
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Like this

    LOL as i was writing this, I was expecting some kind of answer like this




    Bond does sound kind of lame...

  5. #5
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Not lame. Appropriate. Bonding is exactly what it's called. It just so happens it's what molecules do.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  6. #6
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    Intellectual discussions are very important. I bond more with people who can teach me things or change my point of view on a subject. I respect this more because Ive found many people that conform to my ideas because they arent confident enough to speak up. I don't like being wrong, but gosh darn it, its so embarrassing to find out later on that I was wrong, yet I yammered on with such strong conviction until everyone agreed.

    Shared hobbies/Unshared hobbies work too. As long as the other person is passionate and knowledgeable about it, there is a possibility that it will rub off on the ISTJ and become their hobby too. Or at least it happens to me.

    We bond in the same ways, its just that the bond has to be formed and strengthened with respect for the mind and wisdom first. Earning emotional trust is a long hard journey on both ends.

  7. #7
    Senior Member oasispaw's Avatar
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    i've known my istj best friend since kindergarten (in 1985) so we have that going for us. we talk about everything. we're like sisters so i dunno if that applies in a situation where you're just getting to know someone.

    try getting them really, really drunk?
    just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by oasispaw View Post
    try getting them really, really drunk?
    Been known to work on a couple of occasions. You might get way more tears than you can handle though. So be ready

  9. #9
    Senior Member oasispaw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by E.Thomas View Post
    Intellectual discussions are very important. I bond more with people who can teach me things or change my point of view on a subject. I respect this more because Ive found many people that conform to my ideas because they arent confident enough to speak up. I don't like being wrong, but gosh darn it, its so embarrassing to find out later on that I was wrong, yet I yammered on with such strong conviction until everyone agreed.
    we tend to not have many intellectual conversations, but when we do, we're each surprised at how much agree. we respect the other's opinion when we differ. we mostly like girl talk because neither of us play well with other girls.

    Shared hobbies/Unshared hobbies work too. As long as the other person is passionate and knowledgeable about it, there is a possibility that it will rub off on the ISTJ and become their hobby too. Or at least it happens to me.

    We bond in the same ways, its just that the bond has to be formed and strengthened with respect for the mind and wisdom first. Earning emotional trust is a long hard journey on both ends.
    we co-write a craft blog and make things for each other in our respective specialties. we don't actually do any of the same craft besides sewing so it's fun to discuss the other ones.

    we can trust each other because we've been through a lot together and know just about everything there is to know about each other.

    we don't cry a lot when drunk, but i could see it happening. generally our conversations are up and we try to enjoy our time together since we live 170 miles apart and neither of us drive.
    just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.

  10. #10
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by E.Thomas View Post
    Been known to work on a couple of occasions. You might get way more tears than you can handle though. So be ready
    Although my friend doesn't cry, DEFINITELY the E comes out in him when drinking. I'm fond of drunken party memories of our very own ISTJ mixing with alcohol. Nostalgia ftw!
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

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