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  1. #41
    Senior Member moonbaby's Avatar
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    (in my head, "then shut the fuck up.")
    this is a part of them i adore and amuses the hell out of me.....truly.....

  2. #42
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    I noticed this during my teenage years...as an ENFP.

    Several things Ive noticed about talking:

    I feel like I am compelled to talk a lot to demonstrate my knowledge, and be whitty, and entertaining. I make a lot of jokes, because I am being somewhat defensive, its a way of protecting myself, because I expect to be humiliated and exposed. Silence, or pockets of silence are uncomfortable.
    Arguing is uncomfortable. My father was very critical, and I did not get a lot of approval, so I created a lot of defensive conversational style. I find it hard to believe what people are saying. Growing up with two ITJ parents did not help, but our relationship is better now.

    But I think it is better to just shut up and be. I want to believe what people are telling me and just go along with it. It is better to listen and care about what people are saying. I find that truly listening to people, is really really hard though. I'm always thinking of what I want to say next.

    Scary, but true...

    How do I just shut the f*@k up and be?
    You're not supposed to. You're an E. lol
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  3. #43
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    I noticed this during my teenage years...as an ENFP.

    Several things Ive noticed about talking:

    I feel like I am compelled to talk a lot to demonstrate my knowledge, and be whitty, and entertaining. I make a lot of jokes, because I am being somewhat defensive, its a way of protecting myself, because I expect to be humiliated and exposed. Silence, or pockets of silence are uncomfortable.
    Arguing is uncomfortable.
    My father was very critical, and I did not get a lot of approval, so I created a lot of defensive conversational style. I find it hard to believe what people are saying. Growing up with two ITJ parents did not help, but our relationship is better now.

    But I think it is better to just shut up and be. I want to believe what people are telling me and just go along with it. It is better to listen and care about what people are saying. I find that truly listening to people, is really really hard though. I'm always thinking of what I want to say next.

    Scary, but true...

    How do I just shut the f*@k up and be?



    Amen.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Hm. I did not read the entire thread, but a large percentage of my bonding with ISTJs has to do with time. It definitely took me a while to feel close to them. This is a foreign method of bonding to me because with other types I can usually speed up the intimacy process through verbal communication.

    The feeling of connection I have with ISTJs is mostly based on a string of (in-person) shared experiences (often involving others) over the course of a few years. It seems to me that the level of commitment and loyalty that sets in has to do with how long you have known them. When I talk to ISTJs about why they consider so-and-so their best friend, I am often told, "Well, I have known him/her my whole life!" A defining connecting point. It definitely seems to carry weight.

    Perhaps, ISTJs can feel connected to me (ENFP) based on shared activities alone, but I don't start to feel connected to them unless we have shared activities together over the course of time.

    Maybe the ISTJs can provide more insight on this thought. This is just what I have observed.
    Quite the opposite for me. My two closest friends, one very much an E the other an I, happened so fast I don't even remember it. My time is too valuable to spend years deciding if someone is my best friend. They either represent the same ideals and morals as I do, or not.

  5. #45
    Member fishingdude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    Male or female ISTJs how do you bond with friends, gf/bf, husband/wife? I know that I am able to bond with people by talking, sharing information or giving advice, but as I've recently learned ISTJs aren't big on talking about personal/emotional stuff. So what type of things make you feel as if you have a connection with another human being? WHat type of things help you to trust another person?
    First of all, you have to do something with me that's free of distraction and people. Like fishing or chess or something like that. One on one time is the only way to get an ISTJ to open up. I'm a statue when people I don't know are around, but when it's just me and you, I'll loosen up a bit. I'll probably ask you a lot of questions to see if you check out or not. If you appear to be genuine and not a threat, then and only then, I'll let you in. This must be some kind of self preservation thing built into us.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Being quiet with someone.
    +1

    Me and my closest pal (an ISTJ) spend a lot of our time together saying absolutely nada.

    One more thing that we've bonded over is our similar dry (but non-cruel*cough*un-INTP*cough*) wit.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Quiet time alone sounds like a good tip for relationships (romantic bonding) with ISTJs.
    Speak Truthfully, Act Righteously

  8. #48
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    No? This was a question I really wasn't sure how to answer. But that one seems right...
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  9. #49
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    No, you are spot on. I thought that was very funny answer, the E's think it's quiet time alone with them.

    The I's think its quiet time alone.
    Speak Truthfully, Act Righteously

  10. #50
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Oh wow, that was a funny subtle difference there. That puts my post that you quoted in a different context...
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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