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[ISTJ] How do ISTJs flirt?

moonbaby

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It is really weird, because I said to my ISTJ all the time: Quit assuming I am like the other women in your life.

He kept assuming for along time. He finally seemed to get it and told me so.




I could be wrong, but do ISTJ's end up with ESFx a lot? It seems very common from what I can tell........and they always seem overstimulated by them. A clashing of sorts regarding emotion and being smothered.
 

ArbiterDewey

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It is really weird, because I said to my ISTJ all the time: Quit assuming I am like the other women in your life.

He kept assuming for along time. He finally seemed to get it and told me so.




I could be wrong, but do ISTJ's end up with ESFx a lot? It seems very common from what I can tell........and they always seem overstimulated by them. A clashing of sorts regarding emotion and being smothered.

I seem to attract XNFJ's...and I like ExFP most of the time. But yeah, I agree it is occasionally more emotional output than we can handle. :doh:
 

moonbaby

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I think there is a whole new way of relationships and appreciation in people because of the web among Introverts. We have always relied on the Extraverts to pull us out....and truly, I never knew any Introverts really well.........I am finding I adore them!!

My prior serious relationships both Es whoa.
 

Edgar

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I heard an ISTJ use this line once: "I would like to take you out to a proper dinner"
 

moonbaby

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Yes, it sounds somewhat familiar. Mine used to say at one point 'I will not fail you'.

:cry: I miss that sucker!
 

Edgar

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Yes, it sounds somewhat familiar. Mine used to say at one point 'I will not fail you'.

:cry: I miss that sucker!

Let me guess... he failed you?
 

moonbaby

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I am going to say he chose duty over his heart..........as he kind of does the sky is falling dance instead of considering things could be just fine and worked out.
 

Cimarron

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...when it comes to dealings with the opposite sex I do find that their incredibly stable sense of self comes off as confidence and is very attractive. They never seem to second guess themselves either which another thing I really thik is amazing with them.
Are you sure about that? :huh:
Wild horses said:
The only thing I have noticed in my dealings with them is that they really value they best friend (Sometimes their only friend in their eyes) and so if an ISTJ has real feeling for you their best buddy will know about it
That's probably true. I don't tell friends, or anyone, about small crushes I might have, but if I seriously like someone... I guess you could say that the info isn't passed on until I feel sure about it.

Oh:
Edgar said:
I heard an ISTJ use this line once: "I would like to take you out to a proper dinner"
I would love for it to be "appropriate" to ask people out on dates like that. :D Well, maybe.

Looks like I've done an okay job turning light responses into discussions heavier than they need to be. There's nothing better than spoiling a good time. (I'm in a good mood tonight)
 
Last edited:

Wild horses

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Yea I am sure Cimarron!!! To me you guys ooze an amazing amount of confidence even when you are acting kind of shy. I love the stable sense of self, you never seem to second guess yourself either which I do ALL THE DAMN TIME and its exhausting!!! My dad always says , "What's done is done!" and he lives with no regrets; that quality is really a good one. I like the fact that you ISTJs can reassure me that I am not that bad but sometimes you can make me feel a little uncompetent at life (But hey we can't all be perfect lol)

XWD
 

Cimarron

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Yea I am sure Cimarron!!! To me you guys ooze an amazing amount of confidence even when you are acting kind of shy. I love the stable sense of self, you never seem to second guess yourself either which I do ALL THE DAMN TIME and its exhausting!!! My dad always says , "What's done is done!" and he lives with no regrets; that quality is really a good one. I like the fact that you ISTJs can reassure me that I am not that bad but sometimes you can make me feel a little uncompetent at life (But hey we can't all be perfect lol)

XWD
Oh trust me, I have trouble making decisions, too. I guess the difference is that I worry about all that before I make the decision, not as much afterwards. But thanks for the kind words :)
 

Wild horses

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Ok... Go to the thread where people are putting up pics that symbolize their personality.... Look at the one posted by an ISTJ... and that is why I love you guys so

XWH
 

Wild horses

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BTW sorry I haven't put a link in I have a very on/off relationship with computers lol
XWh (Incompetance I know)
 

King sns

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cute

I think ISTJ's are soo adorable. My close friend is one and she tells me everything. (and i'm the ONLY one who hears everything) so I (kindof) understand them. I think the males are sexy for their coolness and they seem confident. I love to flirt with them because it gets them all frazzled up.
 

fishingdude

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I think ISTJ's are soo adorable. My close friend is one and she tells me everything. (and i'm the ONLY one who hears everything) so I (kindof) understand them. I think the males are sexy for their coolness and they seem confident. I love to flirt with them because it gets them all frazzled up.

I think ISTJ's seem confident because they always have their poker face on. Inside though, our brains are working so hard on whatever we're thinking about it forgets to tell the face to change positions.

I don't know how other ISTJ's handle it when someone is flirting, but I flat out change the subject and pretend nothing happened. And then it gets awkward so I jet.

As far as me doing the flirting, I have to say sending a witty email or something is as flirty as I get. Because in person, I would just come off too weird because it would be out of character for me to flirt.
 

MacGuffin

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ISTJs don't flirt. Or if they do, they will do in a totally obvious and cheesey way.

If you are predisposed to like the ISTJ, you will find this cute.
 

Cimarron

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I don't know how other ISTJ's handle it when someone is flirting, but I flat out change the subject and pretend nothing happened. And then it gets awkward so I jet.
I do that a lot, a very big lot. I pretend I didn't notice, if I can.
 

Cimarron

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LOL. I've noticed this in my friend. Why do you do that? does it make you uncomfortable?
I'm not answering for Fishingdude, but yes, it just plain makes me uncomfortable, even if I like the girl. I hear it coming and I think, "oh, I really don't want to put my nerves through that..." Sometimes I miss the "clue" anyway, though.

I know this puts us in the Boring column. "You mean I can't flirt with a guy I like, where's the fun in that?" If I can calm down and get closer to her first, then I'll probably be more comfortable with it. I guess.
 

raz

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I think I do that, also. I'm really incapable of overt flirting. Usually if I'm interested in someone, I'll just maneuver through the conversation asking them about their life. I guess, to me, anything that would indicate overt flirting is not on my to do list. It just brings me into a zone that I'm not comfortable in, making me vulnerable.

A girl I'm trying to get to know right now, I don't really do the expected flirting with. I just have conversations with her, asking her about classes and interests. I don't think she expected me to start having an opinion and questions about the topic of her English paper. :p

I think it's just, with someone completely new, we have no idea what to expect, and we base our life around predictability. So, our defenses shoot up. We become critical and cynical. The other day, I was sitting near the courtyard in my college, perusing forums, and then I saw this gorgeous girl off in the distance talking someone. I kept looking up at her every few minutes, and I saw her look over my way a few times. I didn't do anything because I had no clue what I would say. I know nothing about her! A "Hi" to me wouldn't suffice.
 

fishingdude

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Usually if I'm interested in someone, I'll just maneuver through the conversation asking them about their life. .

Yes that's how I do it too. I just drill them with questions and it almost turns into an interview. It's like I'm trying to figure them out in one conversation or something. Like I'm trying to find something in them that will turn me off, so I can get along with my life. Because when a girl I like is on my mind, it effects my whole thought process. Nothing gets done, and a lot of time is waisted on thinking about it. I don't like that.
 
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