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  1. #81
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    What would a 'physical subtlety' be?
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  2. #82
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    I'm thinking mostly in terms of body language and tone- stuff that very observant people would notice and could use to their advantage.
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  3. #83
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    ...about physical intimacy. It's not happening until I know you like me and we've talked about it to some extent. I'll give hugs, but that's where it stops.
    This post reminded me, I have a question for the female ISTJs, to see if they feel the same way I do about this.

    What do you think about guys who want to give you friendly hugs? No romance or sexuality involved, just friendliness. You know, how some people think you're being unfriendly if you don't give them a hug goodbye, or something like that?

    I have a few female friends, or friends of friends, who do this... I only return the hug because I don't want them to think I'm being unfriendly with them, but in my mind I'm putting a disclaimer on the hug that says "but I don't like you in any special way". Basically, hugs are a bigger deal (more intimate) to me than they are to them, so to me it already kind of implies romance.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 10-19-2008 at 07:51 PM. Reason: specify
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  4. #84
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    This post reminded me, I have a question for the female ISTJs, to see if they feel the same way I do about this.

    What do you think about guys who want to give you friendly hugs? No romance or sexuality involved, just friendliness. You know, how some people think you're being unfriendly if you don't give them a hug goodbye, or something like that?

    I have a few female friends, or friends of friends, who do this... I only return the hug because I don't want them to think I'm being unfriendly with them, but in my mind I'm putting a disclaimer on the hug that says "but I don't like you in any special way". Basically, hugs are a bigger deal to me than they are to them, so to me it already kind of implies romance.
    You know, there are those guys who hug you because they're SO desperate for half an inch of boob against them - I give them the Look of Death, and if they still have the gall to come closer, I go all stiff and give them the Ultimate Look of Death.
    If it's truly innocent, then it's okay, every once in a while, I guess.
    Then there are those, who you know just want a lttle touchy-feely, but they're being so blatant and un-slimey and charming about it, you don't really mind.
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

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  5. #85
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    You know, there are those guys who hug you because they're SO desperate for half an inch of boob against them - I give them the Look of Death, and if they still have the gall to come closer, I go all stiff and give them the Ultimate Look of Death.
    If it's truly innocent, then it's okay, every once in a while, I guess.
    Then there are those, who you know just want a lttle touchy-feely, but they're being so blatant and un-slimey and charming about it, you don't really mind.
    Well, yeah, there are those guys. So I guess it doesn't really happen much to the ladies? It's easier--more acceptable, I guess you could say--for a female to be more open and physical about her feelings. That's how it seems, anyway...
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  6. #86
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    NOT an ISTJ at all, I don't have any problems giving or receiving friendly hugs.. IF I KNOW YOU.

    It IS sorta creepy when someone you've just met or known only recently attempts it. and then you have friendships which were never established hug-wise.. so if they initiate any hugging, it seems out of place and sudden, so you take the message wrong.

    With my ISTJ friend, I'm almost definite he only hugs me to oblige my want of a hug, understanding my nature..
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  7. #87
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Hugs are scary.

  8. #88
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    Hugs are scary.
    Imagine two ISTJ's hugging! Haha!
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

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  9. #89
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    What do you think about guys who want to give you friendly hugs? No romance or sexuality involved, just friendliness. You know, how some people think you're being unfriendly if you don't give them a hug goodbye, or something like that?

    I have a few female friends, or friends of friends, who do this... I only return the hug because I don't want them to think I'm being unfriendly with them, but in my mind I'm putting a disclaimer on the hug that says "but I don't like you in any special way". Basically, hugs are a bigger deal (more intimate) to me than they are to them, so to me it already kind of implies romance.
    Hugging really isn't a big deal to me. It used to be awkward, but now that I've lived in the south for a really long time and most people that live here hug it's kinda like second nature. It's funny that some groups of my friends are big huggers, and others aren't. I adjust accordingly. I guess you could say that I'm a socialized hugger. When in doubt and if others are hugging, I just go for a quickie if I have met them at least a couple of times

    To me there is a big difference of those that give you a quick hug around your neck and those that take a little longer and hug you around your middle. The middle hugs are much more intimate and I really wouldn't feel comfortable hugging someone like that if I didn't really know them or had no romantic interest in them.

    One of my guy friends who is married, really large, and terribly extroverted knows that I am a slight touch-a-phobe so he goes out of his way to make me uncomfortable when he hugs me. Sometimes he'll hold on to me for like 6 seconds, and that's about all I can take. I start squirming away and am like, "Ugghhhh stop touching me!" He thinks its hilarious though, so I just give up because I know the more I fight the more he'll do it. I can't win.

  10. #90
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Lions and Tigers and Hugs, Oh my!

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