[ISTJ] How do ISTJs flirt?

[Bella]

I was so thinking this earlier. It seems like all of us are trying to figure out an ISTJ in our lives. Tis the season. Every thread at the top of the SJ Guardhouse is about ISTJ's lol. They are fascinating though, and I'm hoping some miracle will bring mine back around to me. Trying not to hold my breath though.

These threads have actually helped a lot. I think I understand a bit more what happened, and while I can't really change it, it does help me to accept it a little better.

You guys are a confusing lot, and apparently all the ISTJ's in the world have answered some secret 'lets mess with someone's head' call to arms

You lost yout ISTJ? Bummer.

No, we don't mess with peoples heads, I don't think we have any appreciation for mind games.

 

[Anja]

How do you lose an ISTJ? Mine's always right where I last saw him.

(Some days I call that "A rut." Other days I'd call it "On track!")

 

[E.Thomas]

I would have to agree completely with everything Recoleta said in her posts.

An expression of feelings is only bestowed upon our most trusted few.

I will spend time researching things to develop common threads of discussion. I think the researching comes from our innate need to learn new things and the disgust at trying to fake knowledge or similarities.

We are horrible at flirting in what is perceived as the common way, but our strengths lie in our confidence in who and what we are rather than confidence in talking to those of the opposite sex.

 

[Bella]

Hi E.Thomas. Pleased to meet you.

 

[violaine]

Specifically females, but males are okay to know too. I'm just curious.

I used to date an ISTJ, we hung out for about 6 months before anything happened (he was an acquaintance of my brother's). I really liked him but he never flirted with me. We ended up together because one night he said "I like you" I said "oh, I like you too", he pushed me against a wall, kissed me, left me standing there utterly shocked and went outside to ask my brother's permission to date me?!? hahaha.

 

[Bella]

aaaaaand!? What then?

 

[violaine]

^oh, he came back inside and asked me out cos my brother was ok with it... haha I really don't think he would have pursued things had my brother not been ok with it. (I was weirded out, taken aback etc that he included that little step, but he was a very 'stand-up guy' he could only have done it that way.)

 

[tenINsFJ]

Great post Recoleta, had to give you reputation points for that Helped a bunch!

Sanveane, I noticed you said "used to date" what happened? Was there a communication difference, move away, etc? What are your thoughts on dating an ISTJ, or experience? Would you do it again??

 

[batumi]

Sanveane, I noticed you said "used to date" what happened? Was there a communication difference, move away, etc? What are your thoughts on dating an ISTJ, or experience? Would you do it again??

I can't wait for this answer, because I am seriously about to call it a day and move on.

 

[2XtremeENFP]

I am also awaiting a response...

I'm hoping some miracle will bring mine back around to me. Trying not to hold my breath though.

I've wondered this...
Seeing as how ISTJ's thoroughly rely on past experiences... would they ever return after a breakup?

 

[SillySapienne]

Perhaps male ISTJs would flirt something like this?!?!?

YouTube - Show Me Your Genitals

 

[violaine]

Sanveane, I noticed you said "used to date" what happened? Was there a communication difference, move away, etc? What are your thoughts on dating an ISTJ, or experience? Would you do it again??

eww this is a little tough to answer. We had some probs. that we couldn't overcome, there were very big communication difficulties. I wish that hadn't bothered me so much but it did, deeply. We worked on those, that didn't split us up per se. It was very hard work bridging that divide though and mostly initiated by me because it wasn't something of interest to him. It did put me off for a while cos it was so tiring. But I've come back around to thinking (hoping) if someone is willing to do their own share of work in the relationship as needed then it could work out. And the INFJ can over-tinker with the relationship, let's face it. I definitely don't do that anymore and I stopped doing that in that relationship.

I think there's a really strong attraction for INFJs to ISTJs. I think whether or not it's warranted, an INFJ may feel somewhat unheard and disconnected from an ISTJ in a relationship because we seem to have very different ways of going about things in terms of day to day living. This is just what I think after one relationship with one ISTJ.

 

[tenINsFJ]

Haha CC, seen that before, I've taken down plenty of notes of how to pick up women. I'm not interested in your college degree, I can't put my dick in it. Hah.

Try this one:
YouTube - Dimitri the stud

(It's a listening thing, no actual video, but it's great.)

 

[2XtremeENFP]

It was very hard work bridging that divide though and mostly initiated by me because it wasn't something of interest to him.

Hmm... from the ISTJs I know... they seem to be stubborn on doing things that they don't want to do.. That can be very frustrating...

But I've come back around to thinking (hoping) if someone is willing to do their own share of work in the relationship as needed then it could work out...

You're right... but it has to be equal

...I def don't do that anymore and I stopped doing that in that relationship.

.... have you tried to get your ISTJ back by saying you're changed?

 

[tenINsFJ]

eww this is a little tough to answer. We had some probs. that we couldn't overcome, there were very big communication difficulties. I wish that hadn't bothered me so much but it did, deeply. We worked on those, that didn't split us up per se. It was very hard work bridging that divide though and mostly initiated by me because it wasn't something of interest to him. It did put me off for a while cos it was so tiring. But I've come back around to thinking (hoping) if someone is willing to do their own share of work in the relationship as needed then it could work out. And the INFJ can over-tinker with the relationship, let's face it. I def don't do that anymore and I stopped doing that in that relationship.

I think there's a really strong attraction for INFJs to ISTJs. I think whether or not it's warranted, an INFJ may feel somewhat unheard and disconnected from an ISTJ in a relationship because we seem to have very different ways of going about things in terms of day to day living. This is just what I think after one relationship with one ISTJ.

I have noticed that there has been a pattern between ISTJ and INFx dealing with communication problems. Seems like the INFx has to be able to overlook that issue which is probably difficult. Would it be the same for an ENFP?
And I agree with you, I think there is an attraction between the ISTJs and INFXs... maybe it's the core values and mutual introversion that makes it so appealing.
So it sounds like you weren't completely satisfied with the relationship and probably would not do it again?

 

[2XtremeENFP]

Would it be the same for an ENFP?

I think so.... what were some of the communication problems?

 

[violaine]

.... have you tried to get your ISTJ back by saying you're changed?

He didn't break up with me, I don't want to be back with him. I don't think he'd want to anyway even if I did. Things have run their course.

So it sounds like you weren't completely satisfied with the relationship and probably would not do it again?

Really don't know if I would do it again. I'm not in a hurry to go through any of those problems again. But in reality there's always something to deal with in a relationship. I just don't want to work so hard to build understanding.

I dated an INTJ after that and he's been the best fit so far. I felt like we communicated so effortlessly that we got to spend our time much more co-operatively. We got to have fun instead of endlessly 'workshopping' everything (blurggh!)

 

[tenINsFJ]

I think so.... what were some of the communication problems?

Whatever the problem is for the INFJ, I'd say it's going to be extremely identical since INFJ/ENFP talk similar(IMO).

extreme, check this out here, a lot of details between ISTJ/INFP..A LOT:
infp.globalchatter.com :: View topic - an ISTJ & INFP relationship

 

[SillySapienne]

Try this one:
YouTube - Dimitri the stud

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!











EPIC!!!!

Thanks!!!



*listens to it again*

 

[violaine]

Try this one:
YouTube - Dimitri the stud

(It's a listening thing, no actual video, but it's great.)

mwahaha I've heard this before, that guy is sooo unbelievable.