User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 14

  1. #1
    E. N.. T... :P RiderOnTheStorm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Posts
    791

    Default ISTJs & Romantic Break-ups

    How does an ISTJ handle a romantic break-up? From either a long, or short term, not so serious/semi-serious/serious relationship?

    What long term effects do they have on you?
    You can't always do it right, you can always do what's left.

    Thoughts rearrange. Familiar now strange. All my skin is drifting on the wind.~

  2. #2
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    They're absorbed into our pile of experiences and "lessons learned". "That element made things worse in the long run, so try not to do that again." I guess stuff like that.

    If you're just asking about emotions, well of course it hurts. But I figured that went without saying.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #3
    E. N.. T... :P RiderOnTheStorm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Posts
    791

    Default

    That seems to be a general answer across the board. I would think that we all do that.


    Do you lash out in any way?

    Do you tend to keep at least a friendship with that person? Why, or why not?


    and of course it hurts hun
    I said it once, and I'll say it again; LOVE is EVOL >_>
    You can't always do it right, you can always do what's left.

    Thoughts rearrange. Familiar now strange. All my skin is drifting on the wind.~

  4. #4
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AwesomeCakes View Post
    Do you lash out in any way?

    Do you tend to keep at least a friendship with that person? Why, or why not?
    Ohh, you're talking about this kind of stuff. I usually keep trying to hold on to the relationship... In bad cases this results in me being "clingy", and turns pretty pathetic. In good cases, though, it's ended in good friendships. One girl I asked out turned me down before I really knew her, but we stayed in touch and talked on the phone a lot, and came to be much closer--and not even in a romantic sense. Also, one girl I had gone out with for half a year dumped me, but she is still one of my closest friends.

    As for reactions, I withdraw, not lash out (maybe the I vs E divide), and wallow around in my pity for a while. I guess during breakups, I might get a short temper for other unrelated things...but that might also be general. It's hard not to be in a bad mood when your relationship's falling apart.

    These sound kind of over the edge, but I'm just thinking of the worst cases, mostly.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  5. #5
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ISTx
    Posts
    10,552

    Default

    I usually beat a dead horse with it. I need closure, I need to know where I went wrong and what I could have done differently. It may be translated as clinginess and there may even be a hint of that involved but that's usually how it goes down. I don't like break ups.

  6. #6
    Senior Member helen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    241

    Default

    Does it take you a long time to get over someone or do you move on fairly quickly once you see things will not work out?
    "There ain't no doubt in no one's mind that love's the finest thing around. Whisper something soft and kind." --James Taylor

  7. #7
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ISTx
    Posts
    10,552

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by helen View Post
    Does it take you a long time to get over someone or do you move on fairly quickly once you see things will not work out?
    I never really FULLY move on... It's pretty lame.

    A lot of that is that I don't jump in and out of relationships. They come seldom, so when it's gone, I'm left to dwell on it and it never completely leaves me.

  8. #8
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ISXJ
    Posts
    600

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    I never really FULLY move on... It's pretty lame.

    A lot of that is that I don't jump in and out of relationships. They come seldom, so when it's gone, I'm left to dwell on it and it never completely leaves me.
    Yeah, my relationships with people that go deep enough to actually become a romantic relationship are VERY few and far between. I don't date just to not be lonely, and I really don't do "casual dating." When I choose to be in a realtionship with someone it is something that I take very seriously and I view the other person as a potential marriage partner. That's why when breakups happen it hurts a lot, and also why I try so hard to keep that relationship (because I have invested so much of myself into it).

    Eventually though, you have to keep some self-respect and once you realize that you can't make someone love you, you just have to let go even though that scar always remains.

  9. #9
    Senior Member ArbiterDewey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    310

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AwesomeCakes View Post
    How does an ISTJ handle a romantic break-up? From either a long, or short term, not so serious/semi-serious/serious relationship?

    What long term effects do they have on you?
    It really depends. If it was a serious relationship that lasted for some time, I don't handle them too well.

    My last, however, was too predictable. I knew after we had been together for a day that we would in no way be a couple forever. I took the break up pretty well having already deduced that.

    Ugh...relationships bother me. Desired, yet more trouble than they're normally worth...maybe I just haven't had a "good" experience, but I'm in absolutely in no hurry for another.

    My thoughts
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

  10. #10
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    I need closure, I need to know where I went wrong and what I could have done differently.
    Wow, I thought I was the only one to do this! She probably thought I was so weird trying to reason through it like that. I only needed to do this once that I can remember, though.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO