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Thread: Understanding Male ISTJ Minds

  1. #211
    Perfect Gentleman! =D Array d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Okay, new question. I hate hogging threads, but this has been bugging me. (I pasted it from my thread in the NF Personal Forum....)

    This has happened with two girls before: one was a few years ago, and we were friends until I asked her out, she turned me down, and started treating me differently (see below); the other one is now, someone who I really don't know well, but I just kind of have a small crush on, and I think she figured that out, and now she treats me differently--a lot like the first girl, actually. The one now is someone I will still see in a group setting anyway.

    Once they realized I liked them, they would become a lot more blunt and straightforward when talking to me. This is usually kind of embarrassing, (since they often like to do this in front of other people) and I get the feeling they do it that way on purpose. From some angles, you might even say it looks like they're being playful in a mean way, like the way you might pick on a little brother, maybe. The girl from the past liked to use it as a wild card, like she had some dirt on me now.

    Now that probably sounds worse than it actually is, but that's the general situation.

    Does this sound familiar to any of you girls (or anybody)? What's going on here?
    Yes, this has happened to me EVERY time, (well, at LEAST 90% of the times I have asked). The girl usually says something along the lines of "I don't want to ruin our friendship" even though I know very well I already did (at least change it) by asking! Indeed they usually become blunt and mean, and i guess sometimes they will feel sorry for you and speak more softly, but that's never happened to me!

    Usually if you ask and they say no, it's a loose loose situation and they will be more "cautious" around you. Does this sound like your situation?
    Freedom Isn't Free.

  2. #212
    beyondaurora
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    This thread has brought me closer to inner healing. The comments by NF's and responses by ISTJ's completely describe my relationship with my ex-husband - I don't even have to elaborate in the slightest.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  3. #213
    Senior Member Array PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beyondaurora View Post
    This thread has brought me closer to inner healing. The comments by NF's and responses by ISTJ's completely describe my relationship with my ex-husband - I don't even have to elaborate in the slightest.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!
    aww, that's great. I'm also very thankful that it wasn't just me. I'm glad that we have a place to be open so that we can try and better understand each other.
    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I call it ENFP crazy eyes.
    "Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes--none knows whence--and cannot explain itself." -Mark Twain, Eve's Diary

    "Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it -- ashamed of our weakness, and embittered against the cause of its exposure, but no matter, we have to join in, there is no help for it." Mark Twain

  4. #214
    Senior Member Array ArbiterDewey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    This has happened with two girls before: one was a few years ago, and we were friends until I asked her out, she turned me down, and started treating me differently (see below); the other one is now, someone who I really don't know well, but I just kind of have a small crush on, and I think she figured that out, and now she treats me differently--a lot like the first girl, actually. The one now is someone I will still see in a group setting anyway.

    Once they realized I liked them, they would become a lot more blunt and straightforward when talking to me. This is usually kind of embarrassing, (since they often like to do this in front of other people) and I get the feeling they do it that way on purpose. From some angles, you might even say it looks like they're being playful in a mean way, like the way you might pick on a little brother, maybe. The girl from the past liked to use it as a wild card, like she had some dirt on me now.
    Nothing bugs me more than ruining the "way things were" and never being able to get it back that way. That's been the case most of my life. :ugh:

    Rejection simply sucks, especially in this form.
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

  5. #215
    IRL is not real Array Cimarron's Avatar
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    Hey Dewey. What I don't get is whether she (meaning the girl from years ago) still liked me as a friend, or didn't like me at all. It was hard to tell which one.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  6. #216
    Senior Member Array ArbiterDewey's Avatar
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    How goes it Cimarron? It is hard to tell. I think that she may still have liked you as a friend, but with different feelings for each other it may have been too awkward for her to be around you. Honestly I don't know.

    I've completely destroyed a friendship by telling a girl how I felt (do note I was trying to steal her from her girlfriend, lol). I can't even call over there now.
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

  7. #217
    Perfect Gentleman! =D Array d@v3's Avatar
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    As an ISTJ, I sometimes find myself thinking the girl should at least let me know why things weren't working out instead of leaving me guessing. In my opinion, that would be the considerate thing to do. However, there have been times where I just think...you know, she doesn't need to explain herself to me. I find myself usually thinking the latter though, and just end up burrying the hatchet myself- sort of a "forgive and forget" attitude.

    Of course, there are so many variables in these kinds of situations...
    Freedom Isn't Free.

  8. #218
    Senior Member Array PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Just an update: Mr. ISTJ from the OP is my boyfriend now.
    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I call it ENFP crazy eyes.
    "Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes--none knows whence--and cannot explain itself." -Mark Twain, Eve's Diary

    "Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it -- ashamed of our weakness, and embittered against the cause of its exposure, but no matter, we have to join in, there is no help for it." Mark Twain

  9. #219
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    Just an update: Mr. ISTJ from the OP is my boyfriend now.
    ^Congratulations! I'm so jealous! Keep us updated!
    Freedom Isn't Free.

  10. #220
    IRL is not real Array Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    Just an update: Mr. ISTJ from the OP is my boyfriend now.
    Slowly but surely. Good luck and happy times to you both.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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