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  1. #201
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonbaby View Post
    I think there is a communication error here. Direct and blunt does not mean without emotion or consideration. I am saying, you will know where you stand with me. There will be no confusion. My words and actions will match. With him, who I adore/admire/respect I get words that do not match his actions. If you take note...in these threads, there is a lot of confusion by those who care for istj's because of the signs/words/actions...or lack of them. I relate on a lot of levels, however you will never wonder if I care about you or not. ISTJ's seem to veil that, leaving a lot of confusion.
    That makes it very difficult to build a bridge...no matter how badly I desire to do so.
    You said it perfectly. The words and actions must match for the message to be clear that's like saying "go away" while pulling me closer.

  2. #202
    Senior Member moonbaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    You said it perfectly. The words and actions must match for the message to be clear that's like saying "go away" while pulling me closer.
    that would be a good thread.......we should start it. The push pull of the ISTJ. ...

  3. #203
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Post Bacl to the Loyalty Idea-

    I remember a few girls who would act as if they liked me in fact, one even went to dinner with me! (although it "wasn't a date" according to her) things went well for a month or two then I went to Philadelphia one weekend to pick up a new car and when I came back she was gone! Needless to say, I DIDN'T feel good about myself. I even brought her back a nice gold necklace from Gettysburg! I threw it in the trash- that is the worst feeling in the world for me, therefore a major thing for me is loyalty- the only way a girl will get rid of me is if she says (or shows in some obvious way) that she is no longer interested or if she cheats on me. I HATE taking risks! That is why we ISTJ's need to find people who will NOT say one thing or act one way, then end up leaving us.

  4. #204
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Yup, when I get down to the root of it, taking risks is one of the most frightening things in the world to me.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  5. #205

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    Heck, I was TERRIFIED of going to a new junior high a few years back. I would rather have DIED. I think if I had been fifty I might have had a heart attack. I'm more mellow now, but that residual fear of new things is still there. Keep the statis quo for me.

  6. #206
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    I went to a Christian (protestant) school and when High school hit, I was dumped into a catholic school, needless to say it was not my cup of tea. I lasted two weeks then was shipped out to the public school system from which I originally started. I lost all my friends because of the distance between the schools and when I got to the public school- I was horrified. I saw all my old public school pals with heavy substance abuse and violence. I saw a broken system and it was something I wanted no part of, unless it was to help fix it. THerefore, I remained quiet and didn't do much for the rest of my time in high school.

    I actually was going to attempt to go to prom though, hearing about how people were spending $500 on limos and crap like that sounded insane to me- so I thought I would stick to driving. I asked a girl I was interested in since I transferred back to go with me and she said no of course, then she said "well, if you asked before i might have gone with you". Maybe she said that just to keep me guessing? Anyway, I never went to prom.

    Now I have a bigger issue- one of my sisters is getting married and guess whos going to be "in the wedding"?! My loyalty to my family (sister) is getting in my way of "letting her go" get married to this guy I feel I don't trust!

  7. #207
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Okay, new question. I hate hogging threads, but this has been bugging me. (I pasted it from my thread in the NF Personal Forum....)

    This has happened with two girls before: one was a few years ago, and we were friends until I asked her out, she turned me down, and started treating me differently (see below); the other one is now, someone who I really don't know well, but I just kind of have a small crush on, and I think she figured that out, and now she treats me differently--a lot like the first girl, actually. The one now is someone I will still see in a group setting anyway.

    Once they realized I liked them, they would become a lot more blunt and straightforward when talking to me. This is usually kind of embarrassing, (since they often like to do this in front of other people) and I get the feeling they do it that way on purpose. From some angles, you might even say it looks like they're being playful in a mean way, like the way you might pick on a little brother, maybe. The girl from the past liked to use it as a wild card, like she had some dirt on me now.

    Now that probably sounds worse than it actually is, but that's the general situation.

    Does this sound familiar to any of you girls (or anybody)? What's going on here?
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  8. #208
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Girls have been letting me down lately. Where are the interested yet not fickle and frivolous ones at?

  9. #209
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Cimarron, if someone finds out you like them in that way and they don't feel the same, it's extremely rare that it doesn't affect the dynamic between you, this is almost always the case with everyone. In the case of women, it can usually go one of two ways: either they become more gentle and soft, not wanting to hurt your feelings, or more blunt and direct, not wanting to give you reason to believe they like you more than they do, or to be accused of leading you on, giving false hope etc.

    In both cases, they are actually demonstrating that they care about you at least in a platonic way, otherwise they wouldn't bother considering your feelings or how their actions affected you at all.
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  10. #210
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    it's extremely rare that it doesn't affect the dynamic between you
    Sure, that just makes sense.
    either they become more gentle and soft, not wanting to hurt your feelings, or more blunt and direct, not wanting to give you reason to believe they like you more than they do, or to be accused of leading you on, giving false hope etc.
    I guess I'm just not used to getting Treatment #2 above. But that also makes sense.
    In both cases, they are actually demonstrating that they care about you at least in a platonic way, otherwise they wouldn't bother considering your feelings or how their actions affected you at all.
    Well, I think you may be romanticizing this a bit. Maybe (I kind of hope) this was the case with the girl who acted this way years ago. With the recent girl, it's not like I know her that well, but maybe it is still true in a milder way...

    Thanks for helping out.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 12-08-2008 at 08:01 PM. Reason: less repetitive
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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