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  1. #181
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    All right, since so many have spilled their guts, I'll share something of my own. Also I'm very bored tonight.

    I may have a small crush on a girl in my class. Maybe, I'm not sure. I don't spend time agonizing over it or anything. Strangely for her, she's the only girl in our very small class.

    We were all working on group projects one day, and I ended up in a group with her. The teacher came around to check on our tasks, and that girl asked the teacher about where to get certain supplies. He said, "Did you try asking your partners? Cimarron, do you have that thing?" And I said yes, because I did. The teacher likes to joke around with (almost playfully pick on) us students; he's a student-teacher himself, so he pointed it out to her, "You see? Cimarron had it all along! Your partner is standing around waiting for you, wondering when you're going to ask him..." She started laughing, since he was just joking around with her, and I tried to laugh about it too and just brush it off: "Oh come on!" This was what I had in mind earlier in this thread or other threads when I mentioned "trying to distance myself from the idea of me liking her, hoping nobody notices it" but also "keeping in mind what she might think of me, and not sounding too harsh in my cover-up" since that would completely defeat the purpose. I know, it even sounds too complicated to me. Chalk the whole process up to shyness.

    To kind of even everything out, when we were the last two people in class the next day, as she left I said goodbye, which I'd never bothered doing before. The next time, we were the last two out again, and as I was leaving she said goodbye to me! Cool. So I'm not getting my hopes up, but it's something I think about, a little bit.
    I'm resisting the urge to "awww" at you. You probably wouldn't appreciate that. However, that (bolded part) does sound complicated. Do you think she's interested in you?

  2. #182
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    The only way anyone would even know I liked her would be if I've been too obvious already. That last paragraph there has me thinking that she at least knows who I am now...which is nice enough. It was nice to hear her say goodbye in a friendly voice. I don't think I'm up for pursuing a relationship right now, so its enough.

    Oh yeah, and it does feel stupid to me to make it complicated like that. But I just don't like other people talking about or thinking about who I like, when I don't even know it myself yet.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 11-16-2008 at 01:37 AM. Reason: complication
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #183
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    So, I have another question. I was reading through this thread again, and thinking about my ISTJ friend and I noticed a common theme which we kind of talked about before, but not really (that was not a run-on sentence).

    Most ISTJs on here have agreed that you kind of "let things play out" when it comes to romantic interests. But, I've noticed that you all seem to know exactly what you want when it comes to accomplishing/obtaining things. And, you're willing to work really hard to get it. So, why the passivity when it comes to relationships/dating? Especially if you are interested in a particular one.

  4. #184
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Don't know about that one, sorry. For me, it's because that kind of thing is so hard to control that I wouldn't even bother trying. I guess that's what it is.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  5. #185
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    Cimarron, I think you've nailed it here about ISTJ's and romance:

    "trying to distance myself from the idea of me liking her, hoping nobody notices it"

    That's exactly how we do it.
    Speak Truthfully, Act Righteously

  6. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonbaby View Post
    I don't know. *sigh*
    After ignoring/avoiding me after copying his words back to him, he completely disappeared for 10 days....to only show up today, swoop in and defend my work in writing against another male who basically made it sound as if I were a silly girl...and was gone before I saw him.

    Guys, is this a game?
    Doncha know what loyalty is?

    Maybe he's got other priorities at the moment, but you are on his loyalty list forever, baby, and don't forget it.
    Speak Truthfully, Act Righteously

  7. #187
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saieditor View Post
    Cimarron, I think you've nailed it here about ISTJ's and romance:

    "trying to distance myself from the idea of me liking her, hoping nobody notices it"

    That's exactly how we do it.
    I have the feeling that introverts in general do that. But maybe this is more specific, who knows?
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  8. #188
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    That is the most frustrating thing about an ISTJ... My mother is dating one and after a while she just got fed up because he wouldn't commit.. not because he didn't want to, but because he always had some excuse.. (busy, not enough money, etc. etc.)

    My ISTJ friends do it, too. They end up sabotaging relationships without even trying to, and they need a lot of encouragement to move forward..
    They can be that way with friendships too, and they keep calling to show that they care about you, but sometimes when it comes down to actually doing something, they always have work to do, studying, busy busy busy... I have trouble believing that they are seriously too busy all the time to get lunch or have relationships!!!

    anyway, thats the end of my rant.

    Now on to the possibly helpful part.
    If you really want to date this ISTJ, just be prepared to deal with him being "busy", a lot. And if you're willing to handle it, then let him know, and then (hopefully), he'll date you.

    (not helpful, I guess. but thats all I got.)

  9. #189
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    I don't know if any other ISTJ's are like this. Two things just happened to me in succession that completely threw me off balance.

    First, I was waiting for my English class to start, and this girl that I've started talking to a lot was in the class that was ending next to it. We started chatting as usual, and then the teacher came out that knows I'm into Myers-Briggs. As she passed by, I stopped her to confirm my guess of her type, and I was right that she was an ENFJ. The girl I was talking to just made a weird face and looked like she thought I was getting too into MBTI. I then told her a little bit about it, and I felt like I lost her in that moment. I know she's an INTJ since she took it. But, just the feeling I got when I saw her look while I was talking about it hit me hard. I then started worrying about how her opinion of me just changed in that instant.

    Then, my sister called me after my class, and told me she was looking at buying a computer at a thrift store. I took on the task of trying to fix her computer, bought new parts with her money but was still stumped on it. I was getting bogged down with school and work, so I lost touch with it. When she told me she was looking at buying those computers, the sinking feeling inside of me just plummeted. I wanted to cry. I felt like I had failed her in my promise.

    And all of this is pretty much dealt with myself. I personally feel if I have to seek help with a personal issue, then I have failed at life. If you see me asking for someone's advice on something personal, then you know it's REALLY bad, I mean I'm falling apart. That's why I can't stand going to a therapist. Seeking advice from one means I'm admitting to myself that I can't hold my own counsel. That's a no-no.

    I don't know if any other ISTJ's are like that, but the ISTJ sense of duty is at the center of everything for me, regardless of how tough I try to act. It's always a nagging feeling. Those two experiences right after each other made me suddenly become very pessimistic. I think it's Si just going into overdrive.

    As for being passive in pursuing someone, I think it's because we, at least I, feel if we do something out of character, then the outcome of it is going to be something not in line with what we normally would expect. I mean, I'm normally a calm, predictable, analytical person. If I do something that makes me look reckless, for instance, but lands me a date, I wouldn't feel right about it. It happened in a way that wasn't natural to me. And yet, this passive-ness is what keeps us out of relationships. We're patient, but a lot of others aren't, so we try to keep up with the others, and in doing so, lose sight of who we really are. At least, that's how I've viewed it.

  10. #190
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    So, I have another question. I was reading through this thread again, and thinking about my ISTJ friend and I noticed a common theme which we kind of talked about before, but not really (that was not a run-on sentence).

    Most ISTJs on here have agreed that you kind of "let things play out" when it comes to romantic interests. But, I've noticed that you all seem to know exactly what you want when it comes to accomplishing/obtaining things. And, you're willing to work really hard to get it. So, why the passivity when it comes to relationships/dating? Especially if you are interested in a particular one.

    A lot of this thread seems to still revolve around the idea that while they can control their own habits and accomplishments like the project they are working on, they go for it because they can rely on themselves without a doubt. The problem seems to come from having to calculate the other person into their equation. My two ISTJ co-workers explained it like this - Other people are unpredictable and they can't control the other person in a romantic situation, so they can't make anything happen.
    Embrace the possibilities.

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