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  1. #151
    Senior Member moonbaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArbiterDewey View Post
    Welcome to the forum! Hopefully we can help to some extent.



    That was a massive emotional reaction; not typical of ISTJ's unless the shit has clearly and accurately hit the fan. I'm inclined to ask how soon after his "traumatic event/medicated ESFJ" did this occur? He seemed clearly overstressed to the point past breaking. He probably didn't include any indicators to his mood until he lashed out, which is also predictably ISTJ in catastrophe-mode.



    Ask him what the deal is up front and directly. Mixed signals are not a fun "game"... Confront him, but be tactful. He may not realize that he hurt you as badly as he did the previous outburst.

    We (ISTJ's) occasionally have to do a LOT of repair work after events like those to get things going smoothly again. I wouldn't know this first hand...noooo...lol
    The event was being deployed during the military surge in the late winter. Several under his direction were killed, he had several personal near misses. Month of night patrol and sweeps and losses. As things were winding down in the late summer there was a family member he was called to fly home to (step parent) as they were in hospice care dying. He reconnected w/newly medicated ESFJ then. He was home abt 2wks. Back to war. He was in touch with me from that point forward, daily. I had no idea he was mending things w/her.
    His explosion came during his last month of deployment, 6wks after the trip home.
    About 3wks prior to going home which was the end of August.
    *note, explosion came after abt 3 days after he got a card I sent and he said to me, 'I got your card...I took the kiss. '

    I haven't said a word to him since he is back around.
    Just sent him the email quoting his words back: 'as beautiful as ever, tongue as sharp as ever'

    I some how wondered if that was encrypted because I told him I could never involve myself again even as a friend if he was minimizing the meaning/history of our relationship. And since I had said he was awfully confident burning such bridges with untested circumstances with a relationship that starts over again and again w/ESFJ and fails each time.

  2. #152
    Senior Member ArbiterDewey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonbaby View Post
    I haven't said a word to him since he is back around.
    Just sent him the email quoting his words back: 'as beautiful as ever, tongue as sharp as ever'

    I some how wondered if that was encrypted because I told him I could never involve myself again even as a friend if he was minimizing the meaning/history of our relationship. And since I had said he was awfully confident burning such bridges with untested circumstances with a relationship that starts over again and again w/ESFJ and fails each time.
    I dunno...it's difficult to judge. Like I said before, speak directly with him and find his true intentions. I really can't determine any more than that, unfortunately.
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

  3. #153
    Senior Member moonbaby's Avatar
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    Somehow it made me laugh to see even another ISTJ equally as confused!

    I was the last to directly contact him, even if it was his own words. I figure the door is slightly cracked if he wants to enter. If so, I will ask him then. Thank you so much for your help!

  4. #154
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    You shall never understand our minds. NEVER NEVER NEVER.

  5. #155
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    You shall never understand our minds. NEVER NEVER NEVER.



    Green thing = ME
    yellow dude = ISTJs

  6. #156
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    You shall never understand our minds. NEVER NEVER NEVER.
    [youtube="X8PyTo6NyXA"].[/youtube]

  8. #158
    Senior Member ArbiterDewey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonbaby View Post
    Somehow it made me laugh to see even another ISTJ equally as confused!

    I was the last to directly contact him, even if it was his own words. I figure the door is slightly cracked if he wants to enter. If so, I will ask him then. Thank you so much for your help!
    Yeah, it does confuse me.

    I dunno...

    When I say "directly" I imply call him or speak face to face, lol. By waiting for him it could literally take forever. We don't keep things of an emotional nature on our minds very often.

    The way you've done it thus far, via cryptic email, is open for interpretation...and we suck at deciphering..anything really. The more forward the better.

    Just my opinion.
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

  9. #159
    Senior Member moonbaby's Avatar
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    Thank you. I think I will let it rest. I had already recatagorized him in my life. I just got caught up in his unnatural behavior, and I miss him. He is a very good friend along with all the other things. It is time to move past where we have been, it feels good in many ways to be honest.


    BTW, the message was from him. I was trying to figure its meaning out. I just repeated it back to him.

  10. #160
    Senior Member ArbiterDewey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonbaby View Post
    Thank you. I think I will let it rest. I had already recatagorized him in my life. I just got caught up in his unnatural behavior, and I miss him. He is a very good friend along with all the other things. It is time to move past where we have been, it feels good in many ways to be honest.


    BTW, the message was from him. I was trying to figure its meaning out. I just repeated it back to him.
    Oh, whoops.

    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

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