As far as getting an ISTJ to "evoke passion and romance," I'm not sure it really happens as described. We feel extremely appreciative and the "warm fuzzy's," but I have yet to encounter passion or romance.
Ok then I am doing great, thanks. 'Cause I do get romance and occasional passion, just not on a regular schedule.
Originally Posted by ArbiterDewey
I'm convinced we require a night's rest to think through anything important, and being talked through "feeling" something is the worst. I had a problem with an INFJ girlfriend that couldn't understand that; outright refused to. It's not the norm to be a long thinker, because she wasn't a long thinker, lol. You can guess how that relationship ended.
I think so too. I have noticed a trend in this area.
Thank you also for your input. I don't generally talk him through feeling anything though, I just ask.
I have been following this thread as I have been involved with an ISTJ also. I am an INTJ though.......slightly different than those trying to understand as NF's.
I had an off topic question if you dont mind as I am about to go insane with the behavior I am experiencing with this ISTJ.
This ISTJ had been separated/divorcing and then involved with another (me) in an emotional relationship.
During their divorce, the wife became mentally unstable and fearing for their children he reunited with the spouse to stablize the home and agreed to go to counseling to see how things might go (for the sake of the children he claims) yet has continued contact with me the entire time...I told him I would give him the time he needed to make his decision and be sure- knowing it could go either way. This has lasted a couple years, with his implying that as the youngest got into school he would be leaving the marriage. There has been no physical contact as we decided it would be adding more problems and clouding up the issues. We tried to keep it at a friend level as much as possible.
Recently he had a traumatic event in his life and at the same time she (ESFJ) has gotten on medication that helped the mood swings.
When I mentioned something one day at the end of July about how I had been enjoy his relaxing and being so close to me over the prior 2 months-it resulted in his blasting me out of the blue that he is now again in love with his wife and completely minimized our relationship to a friendship with an undertow of feelings (down from where we had discussed our future of being together for the rest of our lives). I respectfully stepped out of the picture and wished him luck and told him in the future perhaps we could be friends though I needed to part ways for a time so I could move on and he could mend his relationship (he understood, though tried to continue to stay in touch). My heart is broken. I have never felt near the feelings for another than I have found for him.
So now that about a month has gone by with no contact (which is miserable), and suddenly he is being very obvious in words/tokens to me such as telling me I am beautiful etc.......within a group we both belong (a place where no one has ever known about our relationship beyond a very close friendship and where we met-Military/civilian mixed). Which in itself is very odd.....he rarely expressed that even in private.
I am completely confused? Can someone please tell me what might be going on here?
Thank you so much for your help.....if I didnt feel so close to him and have so much invested in time and in emotion I would have left/withdrawn/disappeared by now. I just feel tied to the very core/soul of this man.
I don't know what to say. The real issue here is that this part stands in contrast to everything else he's ever done/said:
Originally Posted by moonbaby
So now that about a month has gone by, he is being very obvious in words/tokens to me such as telling me I am beautiful etc.......within a group we both belong (a place where no one has ever known about our relationship beyond a very close friendship and where we met-Military/civilian mixed). Which in itself is very odd.....he rarely expressed that even in private.