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  1. #121
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    There's a whole lotta 'preciatin' goin' on today...

    (cancels out those hate threads.)
    Always a good thing.

  2. #122
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Sure, no problem. I just feel bad because you've got nothing but my accounts to go by, and I don't know for sure whether my feedback will work in general for all ISTJs, compared to how much varies from person to person. I wish you had some other people's input too... I would hate to lead you guys the wrong way with my advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by batumi View Post
    What kinds of obstacles were there when you began living together
    and what helped to overcome them?
    Probably "Don't mess up my stuff. Everything is just the way I like it. And if you're going to mess with it, warn me first." I wonder if he's that territorial, or if it's just me.

    Thanks to Quietgirl, also, for some more good analysis!
    Last edited by Cimarron; 10-17-2008 at 02:47 PM. Reason: praise, where praise is due
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #123
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Sure, no problem. I just feel bad because you've got nothing but my accounts to go by, and I don't know for sure whether my feedback will work in general for all ISTJs, compared to how much varies from person to person. I wish you had some other people's input too... I would hate to lead you guys the wrong way with my advice.

    Probably "Don't mess up my stuff. Everything is just the way I like it. And if you're going to mess with it, warn me first." I wonder if he's that territorial, or if it's just me.

    Thanks to Quietgirl, also, for some more good analysis!
    I think you are wonderful and very helpful!!

    Yes, the territorial is definitely there. It took quite some time before he
    even invited me over. Then he made sure to let me know how honored
    I should be that he had.
    Ok it was subtle, but he definitely did.

    What has surprised me the most is how much he really was telling
    me the truth early on when he said he would warm up with time.
    He has come a long, long way from the guarded, closed, cynical and silent
    man I first met six months ago.

    All the same, I am glad I don't have to work under him.
    I do pity his underlings. Do you have any of those?

  4. #124
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by batumi View Post
    Yes, the territorial is definitely there. It took quite some time before he
    even invited me over. Then he made sure to let me know how honored
    I should be that he had.
    Ok it was subtle, but he definitely did.

    What has surprised me the most is how much he really was telling
    me the truth early on when he said he would warm up with time.
    He has come a long, long way from the guarded, closed, cynical and silent
    man I first met six months ago.
    I wonder why he says this. It sounds like it was you who started the relationship, right? He does sound pretty cynical, but maybe it just comes out that way. I wonder if I sound that cynical...I try to use it as a point of humor.

    Quote Originally Posted by batumi
    All the same, I am glad I don't have to work under him.
    I do pity his underlings. Do you have any of those?
    Me? Nooo, I'm not the boss of anyone. I'm still a college student. I prefer not being in a supervisor role. But I also have that "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself" attitude. It comes out more when I'm under a lot of stress.

    Under stress, it can go one of two ways. If someone else is clearly in charge, I say "Fine, tell me exactly what to do, and I'll do it". If there isn't any clear person in charge, that "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself" attitude will stick out.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  5. #125
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    I wonder why he says this. It sounds like it was you who started the relationship, right? He does sound pretty cynical, but maybe it just comes out that way. I wonder if I sound that cynical...I try to use it as a point of humor.
    No, he was the initiator, actually. And it took me awhile to like him.
    At first, I was feeling kind of like "ick" but then we had this incredible chemistry come into play.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Me? Nooo, I'm not the boss of anyone. I'm still a college student. I prefer not being in a supervisor role. But I also have that "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself" attitude. It comes out more when I'm under a lot of stress.

    Under stress, it can go one of two ways. If someone else is clearly in charge, I say "Fine, tell me exactly what to do, and I'll do it". If there isn't any clear person in charge, that "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself" attitude will stick out.
    That sounds like him.
    What are you studying in college?

  6. #126
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by batumi View Post
    No, he was the initiator, actually. And it took me awhile to like him.
    At first, I was feeling kind of like "ick" but then we had this incredible chemistry come into play.

    That sounds like him.
    What are you studying in college?
    Oh, I don't know then. I mean, I'm usually not the cheeriest person in the world, either.

    I'm majoring in chemistry. This should be my last year in undergrad, maybe going for masters, but I'm not planning on it.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  7. #127
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post

    I'm majoring in chemistry. This should be my last year in undergrad, maybe going for masters, but I'm not planning on it.
    very cool. I have a minor in it.
    Hope it is not too offtopic to ask which class you liked the best so far....

  8. #128
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    lemme get sum appreciation

  9. #129
    Senior Member ArbiterDewey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    I'm talking specifically about favorite food, the one I never get to have. Making or getting, I suppose. But that's way too specific to work for everybody. We should wait for other people to give more advice in that area(at least I hope they do...no pressure, guys!).

    Maybe trying new things together, but nothing too wild. I'm too much of a beginner at relationships in general to give you any sure advice.
    Been off the forum a few days, Cimarron. Sorry I couldn't offer additional perspective on some of those topics above.

    As far as getting an ISTJ to "evoke passion and romance," I'm not sure it really happens as described. We feel extremely appreciative and the "warm fuzzy's," but I have yet to encounter passion or romance. My last girlfriend's advice for Romance was, "Google that shit." LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    Ya gotta understand that while our life may be structured around the relationship, HIS life is structured around his daily routine with the relationship being PART of the routine.
    As a note, I refuse to allow a relationship to become my life as well. It will be a pleasurable addition to it, but never the whole. I normally tell whoever I'm with this early on too, as to not seem like an ass.

    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl
    I also wanted to comment on the thinking things through. Don't bother trying to convince an ISJ to do something immediately or feel a certain way. It just builds resentment, even if you have no ill intentions. I've learned to throw things out there, let my boyfriend mull it over w/o bugging him, let him draw his own conclusions, listen to what he has to say about it when he's ready to talk, and then just ride out the cranky adjustment period if it involves a big change. In general, he makes really good decisions and is considerate to my needs - I just can't force it to happen.

    I guess my best advice would be not to take everything they say or do personally. My boyfriend is a wonderful man & treats me very well. I had to accept that he's pessimistic, always believes he's right about the things he knows & experiences (and normally is - which I hate!), has a bit of arrogance about him that is completely unintentional (He actually felt awful when I brought it to his attention), and cannot make an on the spot decision to save his life. Once I realized that none of this had anything to do with how he feels about me and our relationship, I started feeling a lot less worried and things between us got better than ever.
    I'm convinced we require a night's rest to think through anything important, and being talked through "feeling" something is the worst. I had a problem with an INFJ girlfriend that couldn't understand that; outright refused to. It's not the norm to be a long thinker, because she wasn't a long thinker, lol. You can guess how that relationship ended.

    ISTJ is an interesting creature.
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

  10. #130
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Thanks! No problems here, I just hoped I wasn't misleading anyone by saying "I do this, therefore most ISTJs do this..." Your input (and Beat's too!) is valuable for all these NF girls on the thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl
    cannot make an on the spot decision to save his life.
    To point out an extreme example, this is how I got into my first car accident. So it may be more true than you think.

    To Batumi, quantum chemistry has been my favorite area! I love that stuff. But it brings up a conflict: As I decide what kind of job I'm going to get, I feel nervous moving into less practical territory. There is probably less job availability in that field (mostly academic), or maybe not, I would love to be wrong about that. And also it doesn't seem to come as naturally to me as it should for something that I'm majoring in and want to specialize in. That's why at first, I had wanted to go into organic chemistry and eventually work in the pharmaceutical industry (drug companies). So we see that behavior again, I worry that my new goals are less realistic.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 10-17-2008 at 07:53 PM. Reason: Beat
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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