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  1. #91
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
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    I agree with Arbiter Dewey...you should wait. If you leave him now he'll likely think that you were too bummed out/scorned to stick around, and then will cut his losses and tell himself that it wasn't meant to be anyway. In my experience, ISTJ's have very little confidence when it comes to dating...and I think this was said earlier...we are not optimists in this arena. It takes someone special to break down our walls and prove to us that they are worth "the trouble." I think your chances are better if you stay.

    Of course I say this with the intention that you don't lose your self-respect. Don't let him and his indecisiveness steamroller over you. There comes a certain point where you do just have to let them go and hope they'll come back if it's meant to be.

  2. #92
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    I don't believe girls should run after boys, EVER!
    I also disagree, to an extent. If I didn't know that he actually liked me I wouldnt pursue him. But I normally like guys that don't appraoch right away so if I want someone I usually gotta go get him. Eventually they take some initiative

  3. #93
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Default Communication

    So, I was talking to my friend last night and we were talking about this girl that I'm kinda friends with. He doesn't like her..for whatever reasons. And last night he said so and I asked the inevitable "why?" He replied that she was aggravating and I said what do you mean...he replied because she's trouble and again I asked why, what do you mean...and he's like how many ways do you want me to say it? Anyway, my point is that this type of conversation happens alot with us. I was asking what has she done to you for you to feel this way and he ended up being pretty annoyed with me (surprise)

    Often he says that things just are, and I want to know reasons. And usually he can't give me any because I don't know if he doesn't understand what I'm saying or if there truly are no reasons. But I think that is the problem with communicating some of the time with us. He will say something and I'm reading between lines that probably aren't even there. Or I'll say something meaning for him to get the hint and he takes what I say at face value (or pretends to as to avoid deep discussions)

    Just an observation

  4. #94
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    In my experience, ISTJ's have very little confidence when it comes to dating...and I think this was said earlier...we are not optimists in this arena. It takes someone special to break down our walls and prove to us that they are worth "the trouble."
    Thank you SOOO much for confirming this.
    So so much.

  5. #95
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    So, I was talking to my friend last night and we were talking about this girl that I'm kinda friends with. He doesn't like her..for whatever reasons. And last night he said so and I asked the inevitable "why?" He replied that she was aggravating and I said what do you mean...he replied because she's trouble and again I asked why, what do you mean...and he's like how many ways do you want me to say it? Anyway, my point is that this type of conversation happens alot with us. I was asking what has she done to you for you to feel this way and he ended up being pretty annoyed with me (surprise)
    Ah yes, we are all into Pygmalian you know.
    Or did you know? The best books I have ever read re:MBTI are the Pygmalian series.
    Last edited by Bellflower; 10-16-2008 at 07:46 AM. Reason: quote codes were screwy

  6. #96
    Senior Member helen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by batumi View Post
    Ah yes, we are all into Pygmalian you know.
    Or did you know? The best books I have ever read re:MBTI are the Pygmalian series.
    Is that the one where they analzye various works of literature and fictional characters in terms of MBTI? I remember reading another book that referred to such a series. I think it was called Pygmalian something or other. Who wrote it?
    "There ain't no doubt in no one's mind that love's the finest thing around. Whisper something soft and kind." --James Taylor

  7. #97
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by batumi View Post
    Ah yes, we are all into Pygmalian you know.
    Or did you know? The best books I have ever read re:MBTI are the Pygmalian series.
    not to seem ignorant...but what's pygmalian?

  8. #98
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    So, I was talking to my friend last night and we were talking about this girl that I'm kinda friends with. He doesn't like her..for whatever reasons. And last night he said so and I asked the inevitable "why?" He replied that she was aggravating and I said what do you mean...he replied because she's trouble and again I asked why, what do you mean...and he's like how many ways do you want me to say it? Anyway, my point is that this type of conversation happens alot with us. I was asking what has she done to you for you to feel this way and he ended up being pretty annoyed with me (surprise)

    Often he says that things just are, and I want to know reasons. And usually he can't give me any because I don't know if he doesn't understand what I'm saying or if there truly are no reasons. But I think that is the problem with communicating some of the time with us. He will say something and I'm reading between lines that probably aren't even there. Or I'll say something meaning for him to get the hint and he takes what I say at face value (or pretends to as to avoid deep discussions)

    Just an observation
    Yeah! That definitely happens to me and the ISTJs, I know. I just don't ask anymore. I think it's cause they do not understand or have the vocabulary for it. Additionally, it would take a lot of energy to come up with an answer. It's annoying for both parties.

  9. #99
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    Yeah! That definitely happens to me and the ISTJs, I know. I just don't ask anymore. I think it's cause they do not understand or have the vocabulary for it. Additionally, it would take a lot of energy to come up with an answer. It's annoying for both parties.
    lol, i was thinking that but i didn't want to say it for fear of sounding condescending.

  10. #100
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    not to seem ignorant...but what's pygmalian?
    Pygmalion, and I am open to correction, but was a myth, Greek, I think.
    A man was so tired of not finding the perfect woman in life that he sculpted
    one and made her his perfect love.
    Of course she was perfect but not alive, so it wasn't so great for him after all.
    I think in the myth a god or something brought her to life....but the point is that in all relationships we are trying to transform the other person to some degree.

    And there are a series of books about this called the Pygmalion Project.
    With volumes for each major Keirsey type, Idealist, etc.

    Guardians, like our ISTJ men, are often attracted to women they would like to help settle down. And make more like themselves.
    According to the theory at least.
    So perhaps your Guardian is trying to sort of help you be more stable, in his eyes, by suggesting that a friend is too wild for you or something.

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