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[ESFJ] I'm going to be honest: my MBTI type is making me depressed?

meowington

Parody Parrot
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
1,264
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w7
You can have all the same interests as Michael Jackson but that doesn't mean you are Michael Jackson, it just means you share those shallow interests.

among which, an unhealthy and disturbing interest in young boys :devil:

I agree with what you wrote though ;)
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
When did Fe start to get lower? After you started dealing with your personal issues?
Thank you for the link.
Hmm...BDP. I was thinking I had something like that. Makes sense actually that my issues developed into a personality disorder. Pretty sure my ISTP (?) father has NPD funny enough. >.<
And I agree actually. If this is truly my type, then I wished I had been a healthy ESFJ from the start. Would've made my life much easier. XD Loads of friends and all that.

@Survive and Stay Free
I hope so haha. That's good insight. It might make it more difficult for me to come up with ideas with lower Ne, but nevertheless it should not prevent me from doing so. :)


What, to you, makes someone "definitely" an S type? This is where my confusion comes into play, because I have a lot of the same interests as N types. When I read the cognitive functions more and more, it doesn't really make sense to me why a Si dom or aux can't enjoy learning abstract concepts, especially when engaging with lower functions.

[MENTION=32520]thepumpkinpot[/MENTION]
I think my initial post came out wrong... I don't have a problem with ESFJs or being one per say. It's more so the qualities ESFJs are known for (i.e. being able to make fast friends easily, being charismatic and persuasive, etc) are qualities I never had. I pretty much have strong social anxiety, where I am able to "read" whether someone is bored with me or doesn't want to speak to me, etc, but I'm actually not great at reading people. If anything, I was probably more of an ISFP or INFP type when I was a little kid (hated school, pretty sensitive, not great self esteem, liked to run around and explore my environment, playing games with other kids, imagining things with my dolls, obsessed with watching tv and just seeing weird images on my screen, viewing the world in a mesh of colors, images, and song, etc), and now I'm nothing like that. Nor do I have the "Si" form of responsibility and dedication to whatever they do; with my depression, I'm very different from that, acting clumsy all the time.

Quick read and i see possibly ENFP as well. Its has nothing to do with anything in particular you said. Its your mannerisms and flow. I have not set on any type though for you. Just one flow that standsout.

Be careful with overanalysis of how functions "can" be used. Its WAY more complicated then that. Because while Ni may be able to see the unseen, its also awesome at seeing whats not in front of it without knowing. For example, its patterned based, but priorities of whats important is very personal based. So they while they do use patterns to see things that havnt been seen yet, the key points they jump from may include other assumptions that may be in direct conflict with reality. The key to understand Ni is "what did they assume". Assumption is the achilles heal and the ego of Ni. While Ne also has assumptions its not really its ego at all, because of this Ne is actually alot more shallow pattern wise and while Ni gets stuck with assumptions Ne is sitting there working them out. Its why dom Ni at first with Ne is deemed highly intelligent and over time the intelligence slips because they become deemed very much as closed minded due to being stuck in assumptions as opposed to reality. The fear of reality actually begins to be noticed. With an inferior Si Ne dom is not as good with the details instantly...this causes a more Se style searching which is breadth and not depth and the person can appear Se when they are infact functionally Ne.

I have noticed our last functions inverse I/E is actually very prominent, but not due to direct use. Its more due to effect from inferior combined with dominant. So an ENFP tends to appear very Se, but its not how they actually go about life its an effect of how they go about life.

Take me, i am very aware of my Fi due to my dom Ti and my enferior Fe. But its not a function i purposefully use to go about life. I actually test as Fi on some tests.

Also ignore letters in type name, they are over hyped based on person. For example ISTP the S is overhyped and people think we are this dominant S type. And ISTJ has the S underplayed and they get this "boring" dom T association. In all honesty Si are much more highly critical about all the nitty gritty details of S while Se is much more about the experience which creates perfection through repetition. Its why you will find alot of dom Si friends with dom Se. They have the same function layout, just inverted. SiTeFiNe SeTiFeNi. ISTJ are far from boring, far from stick in the mud, pure responsibility. But they do have this introverted laid back easy going introversion as well.
Its just that they have perceptions that were introverted that lead down certain paths that they avoid. These tend to be what creates the responsible, duty, etc. and more stuck in say a conservative mind set. As you get to know them the are less reality based and more assumption based as well. Its like paths become predefined set in stone. Some are right, some are not...it depends on the situation.

Just food for thought. Its all very complicated.
 

LucieCat

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2017
Messages
665
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Quick read and i see possibly ENFP as well. Its has nothing to do with anything in particular you said. Its your mannerisms and flow. I have not set on any type though for you. Just one flow that standsout. Be careful with overanalysis of how functions "can" be used. Its WAY more complicated then that. Because while Ni may be able to see the unseen, its also awesome at seeing whats not in front of it without knowing. For example, its patterned based, but priorities of whats important is very personal based. So they while they do use patterns to see things that havnt been seen yet, the key points they jump from may include other assumptions that may be in direct conflict with reality. The key to understand Ni is "what did they assume". Assumption is the achilles heal and the ego of Ni. While Ne also has assumptions its not really its ego at all, because of this Ne is actually alot more shallow pattern wise and while Ni gets stuck with assumptions Ne is sitting there working them out. Its why dom Ni at first with Ne is deemed highly intelligent and over time the intelligence slips because they become deemed very much as closed minded due to being stuck in assumptions as opposed to reality. The fear of reality actually begins to be noticed. With an inferior Si Ne dom is not as good with the details instantly...this causes a more Se style searching which is breadth and not depth and the person can appear Se when they are infact functionally Ne. I have noticed our last functions inverse I/E is actually very prominent, but not due to direct use. Its more due to effect from inferior combined with dominant. So an ENFP tends to appear very Se, but its not how they actually go about life its an effect of how they go about life. Take me, i am very aware of my Fi due to my dom Ti and my enferior Fe. But its not a function i purposefully use to go about life. I actually test as Fi on some tests. Also ignore letters in type name, they are over hyped based on person. For example ISTP the S is overhyped and people think we are this dominant S type. And ISTJ has the S underplayed and they get this "boring" dom T association. In all honesty Si are much more highly critical about all the nitty gritty details of S while Se is much more about the experience which creates perfection through repetition. Its why you will find alot of dom Si friends with dom Se. They have the same function layout, just inverted. SiTeFiNe SeTiFeNi. ISTJ are far from boring, far from stick in the mud, pure responsibility. But they do have this introverted laid back easy going introversion as well. Its just that they have perceptions that were introverted that lead down certain paths that they avoid. These tend to be what creates the responsible, duty, etc. and more stuck in say a conservative mind set. As you get to know them the are less reality based and more assumption based as well. Its like paths become predefined set in stone. Some are right, some are not...it depends on the situation. Just food for thought. Its all very complicated.

I really appreciate your insight into the similarities between Ne and Se. I have noticed that those two functions can manifest similarly (such as ENFPs and ESFPs appearing similar at times), but have not ever been able to quite express is. However, I know that I do not personally use Se much at all as an Ne dom.

A lot of functions can appear similar because they result in similar behaviors. However, the process driving it is inherently different. That is what I have noticed, especially between Fe and Fi. When used as a guiding principle, Fe gathers information about right and wrong from the outside and Fi finds it within. However, they can come to the exact same conclusions. I do not know if that makes sense, but as a decision making process, Fi can sometimes mirror Fe depending on the individuals value system. And vice versa, although I have only identified it in reverse once, and that might be my own inexperience (I also have noticed my own auxiliary Fi mirroring Fe because I value things like group harmony and other traits that I’ve sort of gained due to the influence of my Fe dom mother). The individual in question is rather introverted and has a lot of deep moral convictions. But instead of Fi, she is actually using Si-Fe.
 

Norrsken

self murderer
Joined
Nov 27, 2015
Messages
3,633
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't mean to be rude...but no shit haha. I am just wondering how you can tell someone is an S not an N, or rather how have you been able to tell in the past?

[MENTION=26674]Nørrsken[/MENTION]

No need to feel sorry for being blunt because that's what I am. Years of emotional abuse and loneliness does things to people lol. I'm in the process of seeing a professional, though. :) I figured it doesn't hurt, along with the self discovery.
I have considered that perhaps I am giving people answers about myself which show me a different light, a more positive one, but the fact that 2 people are leaning towards me being an ESFJ makes me a bit more confident in this typing. I relate to many things about it, and other things not so much. Granted, things may change after I get some help for myself, but for now I'm becoming more accepting of this type and okay with it frankly. I do think Intuitive dominants are something quite unbelievable, particularly the ENXP and INXJs, but majority of us are sensors, particularly Si types. Hell, apparently Tolkien was an ISTJ and not even an INFP like everyone wants to believe. So I think it's all about accepting your weaknesses, and working on them day after day. :) (As you can tell, I've been in a better mood today lmao)

If you need any help, please feel free to drop me a private message or a VM on my profile page. I have some experiences with typing people for the past couple of years and I enjoy doing it, so it's no trouble at all. If I fail, I can also direct you to other wonderful members who are very well versed in MBTI and cognitive functions so that we can get to the bottom of this together. :hug:
 
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