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[ISFJ] Ask an ISFJ

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,452
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
What do you do if two of your friends are in argument or fight? Or are maybe even enemies? I wonder how someone with stronger Fe might handle that.
 

Yama

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
7,684
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
*revives topic* What do you like best about being an ISFJ and what is the hardest aspect of this type?

I dunno, I don't have experience with being anyone other than myself so it's hard to compare. A struggle that I have that I think is probably common to ISFJs is that I tend to be a doormat and let other people take advantage of me because I don't want to be "rude." What I like the best... Fe benefits. Most people seem to like me because I'm a pleasant person to talk to.

How can you discern Si-dom and tert-Si?

Dom Si: Sentimental
Tert Si: Nostalgia

They may sound like the same thing, but they aren't. I feel like tert Si will listen to a meaningful song from their past and be like, "aw, those were good times" and reminisce for a few minutes and then move on., whereas dom Si relives the entire experience including emotions to feel that moment as if it were happening again in the present.

What do you do if two of your friends are in argument or fight? Or are maybe even enemies? I wonder how someone with stronger Fe might handle that.

Avoid it completely unless they get me directly involved. I don't want anything to do with their problems. Even right now I have a few friends on here who don't get along with some of my other friends on here and I've never felt involved in their personal vendettas and would find it silly if they held it against me. If they approach me directly I'd be like "look, that's between you and them. I'm not taking sides."
 

Norrsken

self murderer
Joined
Nov 27, 2015
Messages
3,633
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
As an ISFJ, did you ever felt "burned out" for trying to be there for everybody else? How do you deal with this?
 

Yama

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
7,684
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
As an ISFJ, did you ever felt "burned out" for trying to be there for everybody else? How do you deal with this?

I tend not to offer help because I'm selfish and don't like expending energy. However, when asked for help, I will agree to avoid being rude. So I get burned out when too many people are asking me for too many things at once. I usually just end up bitching and crying to friends, helping the people anyway, getting trampled on, and resenting them... without telling them at all what I was feeling. So I resent them but they have no idea because I don't let on about what I'm really feeling at all.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,452
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
What do you think of the quadra theory of socionics? What do you think of your interactions with NTPs (the other side of the Alpha quadra)?
 

Yama

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
7,684
MBTI Type
ESFJ
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
What do you think of the quadra theory of socionics? What do you think of your interactions with NTPs (the other side of the Alpha quadra)?

I definitely relate to the alpha quadra a lot. I either love or hate xNTPs. There is no in between. Inferior Fe can be super cute, but super immature in young INTPs. Mature xNTPs are all married to me after the xSTJs.
 

Korvinagor

Cyber Strider
Joined
Jan 5, 2017
Messages
762
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
How do you go about saying no to others? What do you find difficult about it?
 

Yama

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
7,684
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
How do you go about saying no to others? What do you find difficult about it?

Say "no"? An ISFJ? That's really, really, really hard and I will only do it if it's something I'm very uncomfortable with. It's hard to say no for me because I don't want to disappoint others, or be seen as rude, mean, etc. because were I to decline it wouldn't be for any malicious reason, but because I'm just very shy, private, and honestly, lazy... but I don't want to risk being seen that way by others. I don't want other people to dislike me. I need to be liked.
 

Unionruler

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2014
Messages
98
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
What do you do if two of your friends are in argument or fight? Or are maybe even enemies? I wonder how someone with stronger Fe might handle that.
I think I have a bit of victim mentality because I'd usually side with whoever was more invested in the relationship, and got treated badly/taken for granted. Sometimes it means taking an opposing stance to a close/true friend--I might not tell them to the face but if I say something like it's challenging/hard for you to sort out/you needa take care of the other person's feelings, I probably already think "you've already been irresponsible and hurt someone". My judgement is hard to sway, like emotional wrongs are something I don't turn a blind eye to.

Don't recall having been explicitly called upon to mediate a personal dispute though.
 

Lloyd

Ain Soph Aur
Joined
Jun 1, 2015
Messages
115
MBTI Type
INFP
Instinctual Variant
sx
Do you believe in the supernatural?

Also, In your whole life, have you ever considered yourself to be logical?
 

Unionruler

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2014
Messages
98
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
As an ISFJ, did you ever felt "burned out" for trying to be there for everybody else? How do you deal with this?
Personally I don't suffer from this. Like conventional "burnout" makes people want to withdraw and pamper themselves with creature comforts but ISFJs are crappy at taking care of themselves. The other element is of course being tired of taking care of people, but hardly any type trains not looking at their own costs more than the ISFJ.

People-specific burnout can happen though--like my tolerance is thin for people who proved that I mistrusted them. I'm alright if someone keeps talking about the same problem though--like it's understandable that people might need years just to get past a given stage in life.
 

Unionruler

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2014
Messages
98
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Do you believe in the supernatural? Also, In your whole life, have you ever considered yourself to be logical?
Yes I do by virtue of religion.

When I was young (middle school age) I used to think so, then I gradually realised that I was actually quite lazy to rationalise compared to the INTJs around me then. Even ISTJs tend to be more logical than me. It's not that I can't wield Ne, but I'd rather debate using Si and use Ne, which is less natural, only for necessary tasks.

As an example I used to play chess competitively at the youth level. I'm terribly bad at calculation and tactics, but relatively good at positional play--say improving on a quiet position.
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
I want to desperately give a snarky answer...but I will refrain from doing so.

sweats nervously and turns as red as a tomato


I KNOW WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE


that restraint earns you a gold star :flowerz:

... man what even are some of these emoticons
 

Forever

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
MBTI Type
NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
If you had to live on one certain food (endless supply of fresh and purified water is not a problem) what would the food be?
 

Yama

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
7,684
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
where can i go that's more likely to have a 28+ isfj to socialise with

ur mom's book club
local PTA meeting
probably a retirement home
hold a hangout for INFPs, the ones who show up will all actually be ISFJs
kidnap them

If you had to live on one certain food (endless supply of fresh and purified water is not a problem) what would the food be?

potato. can eat in so many forms, and all of them are beautiful.
 
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