First: hi there!! I'm new on this forum and I hope not to be very redundant, so I'm sorry if this kind of thing has been already discussed.
I really need advice, I feel very confused and I can't seem to get this situation straight. I'll try to be as clear as I can:
I'm an 29 years old female INFJ who had many relationships (really, lots, long term, short term, casual...) who met a 32 years old ISTJ guy through Tinder (well, we are I's) last year. Of course, I've found he's an ISTJ a month ago and some things started to make sense.
He never had long term relationships. Not even short ones. Had some one night stands and nothing more. He is a beautiful guy, really interesting but very quirky. We share a very similar view in life and enjoy the same kind of things, so we escalated the relationship quickly. Or at least, I did.
When we met, he told me that he was not interested in long term dating, that he didn't believe in relationships or love, but that he liked me a lot and wanted to see what happened. Of course, I went mad lots of times because that approach was too rational for me to handle, but I still managed to be patient. He spent the first 6 months saying that we were friends. I already knew his family and closest (all) friends, and we spent at least 3 days a week together. I got really angry when he was unable to define us as a couple, but when I told him that we should split, he changed and started to adapt to the 'girlfriend experience'.
Next month is our first aniversary. We shared quite a lot of deep feelings, lots of times. He opened up to me quite easily, and always was sharp honest, sometimes giving me the nerves.
I'm in love with him, but he always says that he can't lie to me, that he doesn't love me but he wants to, that he feels a deep affection for me and would kill (sic) for me, and that we are still getting to know each other. Did I mention that we dated for a year already?
I know that words aren't his thing, I don't expect that anymore. But he acts like a loving partner, making lots of generous acts for me and giving me lots of time and space inside his life. So I'm so confused here. I'm afraid that he will never commit, I don't want to be stuck inside a relationship that is going nowhere.
So, he fits the ISTJ definition as if he was the exact example for that. For the exception of the weird fear of commitment that he has, opposite to what I've read. The question is: Have you had any similar experiences with ISTJ's? I don't really know what to think anymore and I don't want to push him, because that's what I tend to do as an INFJ and I know that would scare him.
Thank you very much for your time <3
I really need advice, I feel very confused and I can't seem to get this situation straight. I'll try to be as clear as I can:
I'm an 29 years old female INFJ who had many relationships (really, lots, long term, short term, casual...) who met a 32 years old ISTJ guy through Tinder (well, we are I's) last year. Of course, I've found he's an ISTJ a month ago and some things started to make sense.
He never had long term relationships. Not even short ones. Had some one night stands and nothing more. He is a beautiful guy, really interesting but very quirky. We share a very similar view in life and enjoy the same kind of things, so we escalated the relationship quickly. Or at least, I did.
When we met, he told me that he was not interested in long term dating, that he didn't believe in relationships or love, but that he liked me a lot and wanted to see what happened. Of course, I went mad lots of times because that approach was too rational for me to handle, but I still managed to be patient. He spent the first 6 months saying that we were friends. I already knew his family and closest (all) friends, and we spent at least 3 days a week together. I got really angry when he was unable to define us as a couple, but when I told him that we should split, he changed and started to adapt to the 'girlfriend experience'.
Next month is our first aniversary. We shared quite a lot of deep feelings, lots of times. He opened up to me quite easily, and always was sharp honest, sometimes giving me the nerves.
I'm in love with him, but he always says that he can't lie to me, that he doesn't love me but he wants to, that he feels a deep affection for me and would kill (sic) for me, and that we are still getting to know each other. Did I mention that we dated for a year already?
I know that words aren't his thing, I don't expect that anymore. But he acts like a loving partner, making lots of generous acts for me and giving me lots of time and space inside his life. So I'm so confused here. I'm afraid that he will never commit, I don't want to be stuck inside a relationship that is going nowhere.
So, he fits the ISTJ definition as if he was the exact example for that. For the exception of the weird fear of commitment that he has, opposite to what I've read. The question is: Have you had any similar experiences with ISTJ's? I don't really know what to think anymore and I don't want to push him, because that's what I tend to do as an INFJ and I know that would scare him.
Thank you very much for your time <3