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  1. #21
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    lol

    Sometimes in middle school, random boys would sit across from me at lunch. I'd never say anything and we would exchange glances now and then. They would realize I wasn't going to open my mouth, get nervous by my silence, and scurry away.

  2. #22
    Senior Member 563 740's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    What a sad truth fantastic paradise.
    imo
    Extremes: Need To Pursue

    I like my cars fast, my music loud, and my women even faster and louder!

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by 563 740 View Post
    imo
    Yeah, strangers piss me off.

  4. #24
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
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    When sitting in a cafeteria I would much rather be joined by others rather than having to join others. It's kinda awkward, but not so bad.

    I think my least favorite situation is having to enter a class/meeting late -- especially if the door is closed/locked and I have to knock. I feel like I'm interrupting, making a lot of noise and disturbance, am clueless as to what is going on, and overall am being a most unwelcomed center of attention.

    One other thing that makes me uncomfortable is when I ride the bus I hate it when people sit next to me -- especially if there are completely open rows of seats in the back of the bus. If the other person is really skinny and doesn't take up much space I'm usually fine with it. But if you're like a whale and have something like 3 cumbersome bags full of stuff with you, I will immediately hate you. I DO NOT want your thigh rubbing up against mine! I DO NOT want you or your things all up in my space!

  5. #25
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    Hmm.. didn't realize that being introverted is related to not liking people. Anyhow, I'm the opposite, I desperately want to find people I know to sit with and I'd feel incredibly akward sitting by myself.

    I think the book idea is a good one, or perhaps an ipod, portable DVD player - look busy!

  6. #26
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    What... you mean actual strangers come and sit at your table?

    Woah. I've gotta move to where you live. That would NEVER happen in the UK. You'd have say, 10 tables in a cafe, each with one person sitting at them. A new customer walks in and walks out again - "no room".
    Pradise

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Pradise
    REALLY?? I find it absolutely AWFUL!! The cafe makes half the money it potentially could because though it has capacity for 40 people it can often spend several hours at peak time with no more than 10 to 15, for a start. So good cafe's end up going out of business because people just won't sit near strangers. Then there's like when I've come in from the pouring rain and have an hour to wait for a train at the station opposite, and I've got the kids here with me all tired and wet and hungry, and this is the only open public building and I want to sit and have some coffee and read the paper, but all the tables have one person sitting on them out of a possible 4 each, but I know that I'd be breaking some kind of social rule if I just shared a table with someone and so have the choice of standing there when I'm exhausted or waiting out in the rain with no coffee!! And not one person, I guaruntee you, will think if they look up "Poor guy, I'll let him know it's okay to sit with me".

    I find it very dysfunctional, personally... I just think you know, Jesus, what's the big deal? You think I've come here to sit and stare and judge YOU? You think I even NOTICE you??
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  8. #28
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Are you American?

  9. #29
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    When I'm in a caffeteria I will deliberately choose a table where nobody is sitting so that I can eat quietly and happily. Myself, my food and my thoughts....

    Then somebody joins me, and another, and another and with each addition I become more uncomfortable and anxious! The worst is when someone plonks themself down right across from you so that it is impossible to look up without looking into their face, OH, THE TORTURE OF IT ALL! I want to take my plate and run for the hills, but I don't. Instead I keep my head down and chew for dear life.
    Oh, I do that too.

    I pick places where I do not think anyone will try to scrunch into proximity to me, and I get really upset inside if people do... although outwardly I try really hard to not show any discomfort because I know they're not really doing anything wrong. If I hide my eyes too much, they usually would catch on that I was upset, so I try to act nonchalant and look around or look at them occasionally ... or better yet (and this next one works when walking on the street too!) I get out my cell phone and fiddle with it... or I have a book to read.

    I have to admit on occasion I'll actually end up talking to a newcomer and they end up being friendly, so it ends up not being a bad experience after all. But hoo-boy, when they first sat down?

    Another place is in the movie theater, where I pick a seat all by myself somewhere... and then someone comes in and sits virtually in my lap after having the whole darn room to pick from. ()

    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    I hate to sit down at a table with other people, but if I am alone and they sit with me, I'm totally fine with it. I guess the fact that THEY are joining ME puts me more at ease.
    Hmm, I can identify with that too a bit. I guess it depends on my mood and how much energy I have at the time.

    My least favorite introvert situation is a party or dinner or other social gathering where I know almost no one. I don't want to be a leech on the few people I DO know, but I am scared crapless of introducing myself to strangers.
    Ugh, I hate that. Yeah. So I often find myself just sitting alone -- because I'm too anxious to break the ice but I'm not going to impose myself on people just because I'm insecure. It's easier to just be alone. Although if I want to engage, I try to leave my body language and face "open" , so that anyone who might want to talk won't feel like I am shutting them out.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #30
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Are you American?
    French, originally but living in the UK a long time. In my part of France it's customary for people to play boules in the street on light evenings, jabber away 3 hour lunch breaks with strangers in cafes, walk in the parks and woods and join card games at picnic benches with random strangers...neighbours know each other and you have communities, y'know? You dont' get communities so much in England any more... everyone's an island.

    I know this Indian guy who moved to the UK and he felt so alone and found it so hard to make friends, he became so isolated and depressed... he said he was used to in India where people leave their doors wide open and neighbours can just walk in and say hi and share a drink anytime, and yet here everyone goes in and shuts their door and if you call on them they just try to get rid of you ASAP so they can get back to the TV.

    he made me want to check out India... and I did, and loved it.

    England's said to have an ISTJ vibe about it... maybe you'd like it here but I don't really, being close to 90% extraverted...
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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