[ISTJ] Fellow introverts, which of the many uncomfortable situations is your least favourite

[01011010]

lol

Sometimes in middle school, random boys would sit across from me at lunch. I'd never say anything and we would exchange glances now and then. They would realize I wasn't going to open my mouth, get nervous by my silence, and scurry away.

 

[563 740]

What a sad truth fantastic paradise.

imo

 

[Jack Flak]

imo

Yeah, strangers piss me off.

 

[Recoleta]

When sitting in a cafeteria I would much rather be joined by others rather than having to join others. It's kinda awkward, but not so bad.

I think my least favorite situation is having to enter a class/meeting late -- especially if the door is closed/locked and I have to knock. I feel like I'm interrupting, making a lot of noise and disturbance, am clueless as to what is going on, and overall am being a most unwelcomed center of attention.

One other thing that makes me uncomfortable is when I ride the bus I hate it when people sit next to me -- especially if there are completely open rows of seats in the back of the bus. If the other person is really skinny and doesn't take up much space I'm usually fine with it. But if you're like a whale and have something like 3 cumbersome bags full of stuff with you, I will immediately hate you. I DO NOT want your thigh rubbing up against mine! I DO NOT want you or your things all up in my space!

 

[alicia91]

Hmm.. didn't realize that being introverted is related to not liking people. Anyhow, I'm the opposite, I desperately want to find people I know to sit with and I'd feel incredibly akward sitting by myself.

I think the book idea is a good one, or perhaps an ipod, portable DVD player - look busy!

 

[Bella]

What... you mean actual strangers come and sit at your table?

Woah. I've gotta move to where you live. That would NEVER happen in the UK. You'd have say, 10 tables in a cafe, each with one person sitting at them. A new customer walks in and walks out again - "no room".

Pradise

 

[substitute]

Pradise

REALLY?? I find it absolutely AWFUL!! The cafe makes half the money it potentially could because though it has capacity for 40 people it can often spend several hours at peak time with no more than 10 to 15, for a start. So good cafe's end up going out of business because people just won't sit near strangers. Then there's like when I've come in from the pouring rain and have an hour to wait for a train at the station opposite, and I've got the kids here with me all tired and wet and hungry, and this is the only open public building and I want to sit and have some coffee and read the paper, but all the tables have one person sitting on them out of a possible 4 each, but I know that I'd be breaking some kind of social rule if I just shared a table with someone and so have the choice of standing there when I'm exhausted or waiting out in the rain with no coffee!! And not one person, I guaruntee you, will think if they look up "Poor guy, I'll let him know it's okay to sit with me".

I find it very dysfunctional, personally... I just think you know, Jesus, what's the big deal? You think I've come here to sit and stare and judge YOU? You think I even NOTICE you??

 

[Bella]

Are you American?

 

[Totenkindly]

When I'm in a caffeteria I will deliberately choose a table where nobody is sitting so that I can eat quietly and happily. Myself, my food and my thoughts....

Then somebody joins me, and another, and another and with each addition I become more uncomfortable and anxious! The worst is when someone plonks themself down right across from you so that it is impossible to look up without looking into their face, OH, THE TORTURE OF IT ALL! I want to take my plate and run for the hills, but I don't. Instead I keep my head down and chew for dear life.

Oh, I do that too.

I pick places where I do not think anyone will try to scrunch into proximity to me, and I get really upset inside if people do... although outwardly I try really hard to not show any discomfort because I know they're not really doing anything wrong. If I hide my eyes too much, they usually would catch on that I was upset, so I try to act nonchalant and look around or look at them occasionally ... or better yet (and this next one works when walking on the street too!) I get out my cell phone and fiddle with it... or I have a book to read.

I have to admit on occasion I'll actually end up talking to a newcomer and they end up being friendly, so it ends up not being a bad experience after all. But hoo-boy, when they first sat down?

Another place is in the movie theater, where I pick a seat all by myself somewhere... and then someone comes in and sits virtually in my lap after having the whole darn room to pick from. shock

I hate to sit down at a table with other people, but if I am alone and they sit with me, I'm totally fine with it. I guess the fact that THEY are joining ME puts me more at ease.

Hmm, I can identify with that too a bit. I guess it depends on my mood and how much energy I have at the time.

My least favorite introvert situation is a party or dinner or other social gathering where I know almost no one. I don't want to be a leech on the few people I DO know, but I am scared crapless of introducing myself to strangers.

Ugh, I hate that. Yeah. So I often find myself just sitting alone -- because I'm too anxious to break the ice but I'm not going to impose myself on people just because I'm insecure. It's easier to just be alone. Although if I want to engage, I try to leave my body language and face "open" , so that anyone who might want to talk won't feel like I am shutting them out.

 

[substitute]

Are you American?

French, originally but living in the UK a long time. In my part of France it's customary for people to play boules in the street on light evenings, jabber away 3 hour lunch breaks with strangers in cafes, walk in the parks and woods and join card games at picnic benches with random strangers...neighbours know each other and you have communities, y'know? You dont' get communities so much in England any more... everyone's an island.

I know this Indian guy who moved to the UK and he felt so alone and found it so hard to make friends, he became so isolated and depressed... he said he was used to in India where people leave their doors wide open and neighbours can just walk in and say hi and share a drink anytime, and yet here everyone goes in and shuts their door and if you call on them they just try to get rid of you ASAP so they can get back to the TV.

he made me want to check out India... and I did, and loved it.

England's said to have an ISTJ vibe about it... maybe you'd like it here but I don't really, being close to 90% extraverted...

 

[Bella]

Oh, yes, I'll fit right in.

Where else have you been to and why aren't you living in France? (If I may ask)

 

[substitute]

Oh, yes, I'll fit right in.

Where else have you been to and why aren't you living in France? (If I may ask)

I was brought to England as a kid when my parents emmigrated for a job my dad was offered and since then have never been able to afford to move back. But I do go there regularly to stay with relatives and just 'be there', sorta thing.

I've been to St Petersburg (Russia) and loved it there. Also Kitwe in Zambia and liked it there, too. Didn't like Germany quite so much... love Italy and Spain and some parts of Ireland.

Why do you ask?

 

[Cimarron]

You'd have say, 10 tables in a cafe, each with one person sitting at them. A new customer walks in and walks out again - "no room".

Sounds like a cafe full of me's. But I wouldn't like that kind of atmosphere day in and day out--admittedly, it would get depressing.

 

[Bella]

I was brought to England as a kid when my parents emmigrated for a job my dad was offered and since then have never been able to afford to move back. But I do go there regularly to stay with relatives and just 'be there', sorta thing.

I've been to St Petersburg (Russia) and loved it there. Also Kitwe in Zambia and liked it there, too. Didn't like Germany quite so much... love Italy and Spain and some parts of Ireland.

Why do you ask?

I admire travellers! I want to see the whole world.

As for not being able to afford going home- that's horrendous!
I say we start a trust fund for you, immediately

The 'Send Substitute Home Fund'. All in favour, say I.

 

[substitute]

I!!!!

edit - actually it's not quite that simple. my daughters have now grown up in England and especially the eldest is very attached to her friends and life here. Also, though my youngest takes to languages easily and speaks French almost as well as I do, the eldest just somehow hasn't clicked with it at all and breaks out in hives whenever we go there and I try to get her to order her own drink in a cafe... it'd be quite cruel to take her there to live at this crucial point in her life... so I'm stuck here!

 

[katerp]

When I'm in a caffeteria I will deliberately choose a table where nobody is sitting so that I can eat quietly and happily. Myself, my food and my thoughts....
Then somebody joins me, and another, and another and with each addition I become more uncomfortable and anxious! The worst is when someone plonks themself down right across from you so that it is impossible to look up without looking into their face, OH, THE TORTURE OF IT ALL! I want to take my plate and run for the hills, but I don't. Instead I keep my head down and chew for dear life. By now I'm so nervous and aware of everyone at the table that I don't even taste the food and am entertaining the most hostile thoughts towards the poor human beings who are innocently eating their food.
I seem calm but it looks very much like this inside::steam:

I hate this too. My university is huge so there are always thousands of people around and I don't know any of them -- and the cafeteria is always crowded! So now on my lunch break I park in a somewhat secluded place (the best I can find in a crowded suburb anyway) and eat in my car. It's nice -- have some quiet time alone to eat, catch up on some work -- until another person drives by and looks at me like I'm a freak for hanging out in my car.

*sigh* I can't win.

It also sucks when I'm with my friends (who are all in relationships) and they all spend 99.9% of their time focusing on their significant other while I sit there staring at the floor, trying to think of a good excuse to go home early. I can't help but think If you're going to ignore me, why did you want to hang out? I'm surrendering some of my rare and precious alone time because you wanted to see me, but instead I'm stuck here watching everyone make googly eyes at each other. I hate that.

 

[Bella]

I hate this too. My university is huge so there are always thousands of people around and I don't know any of them -- and the cafeteria is always crowded! So now on my lunch break I park in a somewhat secluded place (the best I can find in a crowded suburb anyway) and eat in my car. It's nice -- have some quiet time alone to eat, catch up on some work -- until another person drives by and looks at me like I'm a freak for hanging out in my car.

*sigh* I can't win.

It also sucks when I'm with my friends (who are all in relationships) and they all spend 99.9% of their time focusing on their significant other while I sit there staring at the floor, trying to think of a good excuse to go home early. I can't help but think If you're going to ignore me, why did you want to hang out? I'm surrendering some of my rare and precious alone time because you wanted to see me, but instead I'm stuck here watching everyone make googly eyes at each other. I hate that.

lol! I get you..

 

[Bella]

I!!!!

edit - actually it's not quite that simple. my daughters have now grown up in England and especially the eldest is very attached to her friends and life here. Also, though my youngest takes to languages easily and speaks French almost as well as I do, the eldest just somehow hasn't clicked with it at all and breaks out in hives whenever we go there and I try to get her to order her own drink in a cafe... it'd be quite cruel to take her there to live at this crucial point in her life... so I'm stuck here!

Oh, wi Monsieur!

 

[ArbiterDewey]

So far, in response to the OP, going to a store, especially a bookstore, where I want to be alone and chill with the books, and accidentally be dressed like an employee...

Terrible.

 

[Oso Mocoso]

When I'm in a cafeteria I will deliberately choose a table where nobody is sitting so that I can eat quietly and happily. Myself, my food and my thoughts....
Then somebody joins me, and another, and another and with each addition I become more uncomfortable and anxious! The worst is when someone plonks themself down right across from you so that it is impossible to look up without looking into their face, OH, THE TORTURE OF IT ALL!

Oh man. The worst ever? You asked for it. I dated an extrovert ...

I was dating this girl who lived in one of those tall apartment buildings in New York. She had a thing for making out or having sex in somewhat public places. In her building, we used to go make out in the very top of the building's stairwell. That was actually a pretty hidden "public place" as public places go. One time, someone heard us and stuck his head around the corner to take a peek. He sorta grinned and left. Not really very awkward, from my point of view.

Then, she got it in her head to try having sex in the elevator late at night. I thought this was a very bad idea. But, I wasn't really thinking with my brain.

So, there we are in the elevator. She leaned against the wall, and I kneeled on the floor and went down on her. Then, she leaned me against the wall, and returned the favor. She pushed me down on the dirty floor of the elevator, and was straddling me when the elevator started moving.

She jumped off me, and we both got dressed with amazing speed. However, the elevator must have reeked of sex. Also, I was only wearing pajamas and I was sporting a massive hard-on.

The doors opened. A middle-aged woman who was dressed like she was going to work got in. My girlfriend and I stood at one end of the elevator, the middle-aged woman at the other. Time passed very, very, very slowly. I was utterly horrified by the experience. It went on for almost a minute.

Ding.

She walked out without saying a word. The second the doors closed, my girlfriend passionately tore off my pants, threw me to the floor and rode me hard and fast like getting caught was the hottest thing ever. I helped go through the motions, still feeling pretty traumatized.

Hmm ... thinking if this was the MOST awkward situation I've ever been in, I'm not totally sure but this sort of situation would be my least favorite.