Annaifiwas
New member
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2014
- Messages
- 72
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Enneagram
- 4w3
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sx
Many ESFJs are very traditional, it's a known SJ trait. I have noticed how some ESFJs react BADLY when members of their inner circle or family break those traditions. Normally, those traditions are more social constructs, so as an intuitive, I find myself rather frustrated with their lack of acceptance for diversity and new thinking.
Say a female ESFJ has two daughters, both intuitives, and they are going to celebrate the youngest sister's (INFJ) 13th birthday in a couple of days. The older one (ENTJ), a junior in high school, is a vegan, which the parents (ESFJ and ESTJ, I've found this mix quite often), already aren't very happy about. The mother doesn't want to make ANY kinds of vegan food, but she DOES want the old daughter to eat something sugary on the youngest sibling's birthday. "Why?" one may ask. The daughter certainly did. And the mother answers that she does need something, because it is polite and social to eat things that others are eating, and to enjoy cake, ice cream etc. in the company of others. Daughter says it is absolutely cool, and that she didn't need to have anything, but the mother gets angry and asks why she has to stand and be weird. It's not like she doesn't eat good food other times. "I can eat dinner or something, but don't go through the trouble of buying me anything. And by the way, cake isn't food." Daughter's thoughts are "Why do we have to eat unhealthy in order to "have fun"?", "If I sometimes happen to eat something unhealthy, it's because I choose to do so, and because I want it at that time, not because everyone else is eating something.", "Why does the world revolve around food?" and "Why isn't it enough that I'm even there?"
This was just one of the many cases I've heard about from my friends and coworkers.
Say a female ESFJ has two daughters, both intuitives, and they are going to celebrate the youngest sister's (INFJ) 13th birthday in a couple of days. The older one (ENTJ), a junior in high school, is a vegan, which the parents (ESFJ and ESTJ, I've found this mix quite often), already aren't very happy about. The mother doesn't want to make ANY kinds of vegan food, but she DOES want the old daughter to eat something sugary on the youngest sibling's birthday. "Why?" one may ask. The daughter certainly did. And the mother answers that she does need something, because it is polite and social to eat things that others are eating, and to enjoy cake, ice cream etc. in the company of others. Daughter says it is absolutely cool, and that she didn't need to have anything, but the mother gets angry and asks why she has to stand and be weird. It's not like she doesn't eat good food other times. "I can eat dinner or something, but don't go through the trouble of buying me anything. And by the way, cake isn't food." Daughter's thoughts are "Why do we have to eat unhealthy in order to "have fun"?", "If I sometimes happen to eat something unhealthy, it's because I choose to do so, and because I want it at that time, not because everyone else is eating something.", "Why does the world revolve around food?" and "Why isn't it enough that I'm even there?"
This was just one of the many cases I've heard about from my friends and coworkers.
- What motivates this need for not standing out and social traditions?
- Why are some trying to mold others into believing in such simple-minded social constructs?
- Could enneagram and instinctual variants play a role in this?
- What factors is this behavior based upon?
- Or are simply all ESFJs unhealthy, and therefore are far too stuck in their own ways? (Which would be silly)