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  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Ok, that's more reasonable.

  2. #12
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    When you have a crush, does it last for a long or short unit of time?

    Do you view your crush as an idealized version of her/himself, oblivious to the real person? Or is it just that you're so forgiving that you don't care about the faults that you see existing?

    How much does this crush influence your decisions? (As an NT, I think it influences my feelings but not my final decision. It just makes the decision-making-process take longer b/c of all the feeling getting in the way.)
    My crushes usually last for a long time...sometimes for years. Generally, I don't bother liking someone unless I see them as someone I would be realistically compatible with for long periods of time. The thing with crushes is, I'm usually too scared to do anything about it. It seems I'm always waiting for the guy to take the initiative and ask me out...because, well, he is the guy (yeah, I'm a little old-fashioned). Emotional vulnerability is not something I am good with, so it's pretty unlikely I'd make the first move. Even if I have strong feelings I usually play them down IRL.

    I don't idealize people...I tend to see them for who they are, and when they do have faults/idiosyncracies I might actually see it as something attractive because it means they are being real with me as opposed to putting up a front.

    My crushes can influence my decisions quite a bit depending on how important they are. They are likely to have some influence on day-to-day decisions, but my big decisions (ex) (like where I live/go to school) are ultimately my own.



    Actually, this poses a question that maybe a few of you INTJ's can answer. I have known a certain INTJ for roughly 5 years. We used to work together, and have since ended up attending the same university. Over the past couple of years or so we have gotten closer, and he is one of my best friends. I have liked him for a long time, but I'm not sure that I should express this to him because I don't know if he thinks of me as just a friend or something more. It's strange though, because we go out by ourselves pretty much on a weekly basis, and he'll often offer to pay for my meal etc. We're comfortable with talking and being around each other, but it is always slightly awkward because I can't read what he is thinking. Any thoughts or suggestions?

  3. #13
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    Any thoughts or suggestions?
    Try the innocent physicality test: Touch him in various ways, stand just a little too close; then observe his reaction. Does he pull away or allow it? If he's consistently okay with you touching him and being in his space, then he probably wouldn't mind getting even closer.

    Poking him when he teases you is an especially good maneuver; if he ups the ante and teases you even more, then you can pretty much have your way with him then and there.

  4. #14
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    You're ISTJ, maybe you don't know it but you make most males horny just by sitting on a chair. Wait for them to approach you.

  5. #15
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    You're ISTJ, maybe you don't know it but you make most males horny just by sitting on a chair. Wait for them to approach you.
    Right. No single man has ever refrained from making a move on a single female friend he was interested in. Fear of rejection is unknown to the male psyche. :rolli:

  6. #16
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Right. No single man has ever refrained from making a move on a single female friend he was interested in. Fear of rejection is unknown to the male psyche. :rolli:
    Yeah, it only takes me 3 years of being friends with a girl to even hope to try and make a move.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  7. #17
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Right. No single man has ever refrained from making a move on a single female friend he was interested in. Fear of rejection is unknown to the male psyche. :rolli:
    Depends on how much time, really. 5 years?

  8. #18
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Depends on how much time, really. 5 years?
    It's not improbable enough that advising her not to try, say, my proposed tactic is sound.

  9. #19
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    It's not improbable enough that advising her not to try, say, my proposed tactic is sound.
    Ok yes you're right, just my perispective of 99 percent E on tests gives me a certain blindness towards the other end of the spectrum.

  10. #20
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Ok yes you're right, just my perispective of 99 percent E on tests gives me a certain blindness towards the other end of the spectrum.

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