OK - I have a big problem with my ESFJ boss and I would really appreciate your advice and suggestions, especially from ESFJs.
I know some tension is to be expected between us (I am ENTP), but I suspect this goes beyond ESFJ/ENTP thing. Because one of my good friends is ESFJ and even though sometimes I don`t get her way of thinking at all, we are at least able to communicate in a normal way and resolve our conflicts.
With my boss, however, the communication is impossible. It has to be her way-no compromise whatsoever. If I just suggest that there may be some other (potentially better) solution she throws a tantrum-I am not kidding-she is like a 5 year old, who didn`t get her way. After she calms down a little bit she does the "victim" thing: she says I hurt her feelings and she sacrifices herself for all of us ungrateful slobs, but of course I don`t appreciate this, because I had such an easy time and she had to work sooo hard for everything,...:rolli: Sometimes I think she doesn`t notice the input of others at all, because she is too busy listening to herself. I also think that such an emotional and unprofessional response is totally inappropriate in a business environment.
Of course, it doesn`t help that she has no sense of humor at all and is offended by everything and everybody. She is also very paranoic-for example, if someone in the room laughs, she is sure he/she is laughing at her. :crazy:
And one thing that really bothers me: when we are alone she has her tantrums and sometimes even threatens me I will lose my job if I don`t do exactly as she wants (I can`t do that because some of her suggestions are totally destructive). But when there are others around she is all sweet with me.
My psychological assessment of her: I think she is not very capable or intelligent and she is afraid others will find out. So her behavior is basically her defense. In fact, all the bullying of the employees is just a mask for her own insecurity and stupidity. Am I right? And more important, how to communicate with her so I can get my own ideas through, but at the same time don`t provoke her wrath?
TNX for your help