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  1. #1
    Sweet Summer Dik Dik yama's Avatar
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    Default Is there an "Ask an ISTJ" thread?

    I had some questions for you guys but I can't find a thread like that anywhere.
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  2. #2
    Member stone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    I had some questions for you guys but I can't find a thread like that anywhere.
    I used the forum search tools and can't find one, but since this is your thread feel free to ask some questions here.

  3. #3
    Sweet Summer Dik Dik yama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stone View Post
    I used the forum search tools and can't find one, but since this is your thread feel free to ask some questions here.
    I'll pass this thread off to you then!
    What do you like the most about your friends? What bothers you the most about people/what are your biggest pet peeves? Also, what is the best way to help/support you when you're going through tough times?
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    What do you like the most about your friends?
    I like my friends easy. What's easy? I believe it's a state of mind in which nothing is a problem. It's when people decide to be flexible and less self-absorbed. It doesn't mean I would not help my friends if they are in trouble. It doesn't mean I wouldn't go the extra mile to help them. But I like me friends when they are optimistic and problem solving (rather than problem causing).

    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    What bothers you the most about people/what are your biggest pet peeves?
    Insecurity and time spent contemplating the past or possible failures. People being apologetic and defensive. If you make a mistake, fix it and move on. If someone else makes a mistake, help to fix it and move on. We all make mistakes and we all should keep making mistakes because they help us better ourselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    Also, what is the best way to help/support you when you're going through tough times?
    This one is difficult. I'm pretty self reliant and value independent. I place little value on praise of other people. But perhaps I find it most consolidating when I hear other people dealing with the same problems but having a different take on it. But I'm not looking for peer support (I have no problem being alone with my problem), but rather new perspective (which would help me get past difficult problems I have, which usually are caused by of my own perspective).


    So why are you asking, what's your problem with an ISTJ?
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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  5. #5
    Sweet Summer Dik Dik yama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    So why are you asking, what's your problem with an ISTJ?
    Oh, I have no problems with them at all! My best friend is an ISTJ. I was asking because I was hoping to get some more insight about how he and others of his type think vs. how I do and your answers have been very helpful. I can't ask him because he refuses to find MBTI interesting and would just ignore me if I asked. He's a stubborn one, but I love him

    My last question I mainly asked because, in the dynamic between me and my ISTJ, he is very emotionally private so when he's going through something tough he usually does it alone. There was one time a long time ago back in our junior year of high school where he DID surprisingly reach out to me (over IM) because he found out something really troubling about what his "friends" thought about him. So I assured him that those "friends" were assholes for treating him like that and that even though I couldn't make it better I'd always be there for him. Yeah... we never EVER talk about that but I think that's the moment he "picked" me as his bff, lol!

    I may come up with more questions later to ask you, if you don't mind.
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  6. #6
    Member stone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    I'll pass this thread off to you then!
    What do you like the most about your friends?
    It depends on the particular friend and how close they are, but each must be honourable and genuine.
    What bothers you the most about people/what are your biggest pet peeves?
    I hate any form of drama and will quickly cut off those who create it. My biggest pet leave is food related: people who chew with their mouths open or slurping drinks.
    Also, what is the best way to help/support you when you're going through tough times?
    For me the best thing is to leave me alone but to be aware of the issue; that means don't put anything else on my plate. I prefer to deal with my own issues unless I determine that my requirements have changed or that there is an issue I can't fix but somebody else could.
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  7. #7
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    Can I add my question to the thread? =)

    I'm pretty sure my crush is an ISTJ. He's in his late 30's and I'm 25, INTP. We're in the military and he outranks me by a couple of stripes. He seems to have been single for quite a while and isn't the best at talking to women. He's always kind of guarded.

    When I first started liking him he seemed interested in me and was usually sweet and flirty with me when our superiors weren't around. About 6 months later I told him how I felt through a card and asked him if he wanted to get some food together. He pulled me aside later to say that he appreciated me telling him and that it took courage but that we couldn't be together because of our ranks (at the time I was 3 ranks under him) and to just forget everything and move on. I spent the next few months being aloof while trying to forget him, trying to hide or avoid him but still polite. He kept appearing around me more and trying to get me to talk to him. I eventually ranked up (and could therefore date him) and aside from his other behaviors I noticed that he was protective of me and stood up for me. He doesn't spend time with other women outside of work unless it's during lunch with other people and he treats them all the same as the men. So it's pretty obvious to me when his voice gets softer around me or he picks me out of everyone else in the room to ask if I'm doing okay or something.

    As I was trying to get over him I ended up going on some dates with a guy but ended up not really feeling it and moved on. I was telling this to a friend one day and he blurted out something about me having a boyfriend right when my crush was walking by. I told my friend that he was not my bf. My crush is known to be pretty sarcastic and harsh with his words but he had been pretty gentle with me usually. After that outburst about the bf though, he was mean. The whole day he was like that and everyone noticed it.

    What are any ISTJ thoughts on this situation? Does this sound like something I should address with him or something I should just leave alone? It's really hard for me to get over him when he is acting like this and I don't want him to string me along if he's just looking for attention. But I also don't want to step on his heart if this is his way of trying to get my attention. =(
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  8. #8
    deplorable basketcase Tellenbach's Avatar
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    From your description of the situation, your crush probably likes you.

    I'd be very hesitant to pursue a relationship at work because it could blow up and create an awkward atmosphere in the future. You may want to ask him if this is the case.
    Senator Rand Paul is alive because of modern medicine and because his attacker punches like a girl.

  9. #9
    Member stone's Avatar
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    @blumercury
    He is very likely intrigued by you. I say that because he probably has many issues with the concept of a relationship with you, (rank issues, dating on base and your age), but you have guts and he may struggle with things, (this might be accentuated by his relative inexperience with women). It can turn into a kind of "yo-yo effect" where he may be very hot and cold towards you in a sense, as he struggles internally to deal with the all the possible negative consequences: this is the curse of inferior Ne.

  10. #10
    Member cameo's Avatar
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    I guess this is a bit of an older thread, but in terms of whether there's an "Ask an ISTJ" thread, I would be happy to contribute answers to any questions!
    So what if I don't have a lot to talk about?/
    I shut my mouth and keep it locked until it counts/
    And what if I don't ever want to leave my house?/
    Stay on the couch while all my friends are going out/
    I'll make the journey down the hall back to my room/
    And kill more time, and let it rot inside its tomb/
    See, I ain't one to climb some social ladder to/
    Some Shangri-La that all the cool kids will abuse/

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