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  1. #1
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Default Look That Up In Your Strunk & White (The MBTIc Editing Project)

    Editor's Note!

    I've been meaning to start a thread like this for ages. Didums, I'll erase your essay if you're uncomfortable being the inaugural essay writer.

    We have a bit of a brain trust going on here at MBTIc. I know there are many, many talented individuals in a number of fields who frequent this site. I think it would be cool if folks could post their writing here to have it critiqued/edited. The degree to which it is critiqued/edited can be agreed upon by writer and reader. (In other words, if you're the writer then ask for what you want, and if you're the reader give whatever of what is asked that you feel like giving.)

    I'll move my recent "help me do my job" thread in here at some point, too.

    ************************************************** **********************************

    Didums, why don't you post a sample of your writing somewhere on the site? I'd be interested in seeing what you consider to be "Real, Creative, FREE writing."

    I have found that the nuances of clear writing are sometimes lost on the profoundly gifted and in fact there is a niche market for freelance editors that I am currently trying to break into--translating smart-people-ese into clear, interesting (to a general or even an academic audience) writing.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  2. #2
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    Note to the reader: My english teacher was highly religious and I'm suspect that he was a Creationist, so this piece of writing also serves as a huge slap in the face to him, he had little respect for me anyways.

    The writing assignment that this was part of was a Vignette project, where you write a bunch of separate writings/ideas/stories that have a similar underlying concept and when pieced together make a much larger image. Also, sorry for the fact that this is a brick wall of writing, but it is intended to be that way. I've wanted to edit this Vignette (for the sake of improving on the idea that is made) but I'm a bit lazy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Philosophical Muse About Nothing Important (With Science! )

    What is the meaning of Life? Here is my rant:

    The answers to this question seems so obvious to me. By understanding Life itself it is intrinsic that there is no meaning to it. I am not a person; I am an exceptionally well-structured system of billions of cells that rely upon each other. All of my thoughts and emotions are merely chemical signals made my neurons in my brain and truly mean nothing. My individual cells are specialized to serve certain purposes. Cells that are specialized in the same manner cluster together to form a tissue that connects with other tissues to form organs and organ systems. These organs and systems form the person and rely upon each other to survive. For instance, if you take out a part of someone, the heart is a good example, you will not survive, and your heart will not survive either. It is funny to think that even your cells rely upon smaller parts of themselves, the mitochondria, nucleus, cell membrane, etc. And even these parts are made of smaller parts; the nucleus for example, contains the all-important DNA. And continuing this trail, DNA itself is a polymer made of smaller molecules, these molecules being made of elements, these elements being made of atoms, these atoms being made of protons, neutrons, and electrons, these being made of quarks and leptons, these having different “flavors” and “colors”, and this is where the trail ends to our knowledge.

    How can life have a meaning or purpose when you look at the question scientifically? That is a better question. And the answer is that it can’t. Life is a result of the increasing complexity of matter, however this more complex form of life is not a stable one, which means bad news for you and me. It came about randomly from non-living matter under conditions that proved to be catalytic to escalating chemical intricacy, this is known as Abiogenesis. Chemicals became complex enough to be able to replicate themselves (how this happened is not known), however, they would often make errors, most being harmful to the chemical’s survival, some being beneficial and increasing traits. And so began the process of Evolution that brought us to an intelligence level to ask these meaningless questions. I’d also like to point out the irony that our perception of reality is merely an illusion created by our brains, therefore science means nothing except for in our observable view of the Universe. That statement is also inherently ironic. Now a paradox has formed. Can we take anything seriously thinking in this way? No, obviously not, thinking down this trail makes you believe that nothing matters in the grand scheme of the Universe, which is only true in our perception of the Universe. So, what is the solution to this problem? How can there be a purpose or meaning to life?

    My answer is as follows: Destroy our perception of logic, null your mind, and work your way back to the basics of life. Survival. Living in the wild, trying to get enough food, water, and shelter to survive gives your life meaning. Try not to die is the game, that is the game of life. Survive as long as possible and die happy and content, try not to die painfully, try to pass on your genes. What else is there that truly matters? Not the advancement of society, society actually destroys a sense of purpose that you make for yourself because you can think to yourself: “Nothing that I can possibly contribute to society will matter because when humans go extinct all of my work is lost and the lives I improved mean nothing to me because I am all that matters in this Universe because I am what enables myself to view the Universe.” However, if helping society gives you some sense of happiness, why not try? It is logical to try to make yourself happy, but the means of doing so in this situation are illogical, and then the problem of looking at things in the grand scheme of the Universe shows itself again. And also, why should I attempt to help a society that is in no way designed for a person like me to thrive in at all, to help myself? This is becoming circular and contradictory; maybe there is some truth to that. My advice to myself: Because I am alive I might as well cherish my ability to be happy and try to give myself a “purpose”, I should be as irrational as I want to because in the end I’m going to die and maybe dying in a happy delusion is better than dying in clear, rational thought, one where I understood that my life meant nothing. Unfortunately, changing my thought processes and fundamental principles of my personality are innately impossible. I guess all that I’m left with is contributing to something that is important to me, whatever that may be, but I sure do hope that it shows itself.

  3. #3
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    First impression, without having read it yet: paragraphs are your friend. You don't have to sacrifice your brilliance to use them.

    Mind if I split this out into a new thread? It could get pretty off-topic for a general discussion.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    First impression, without having read it yet: paragraphs are your friend. You don't have to sacrifice your brilliance to use them.

    Mind if I split this out into a new thread? It could get pretty off-topic for a general discussion.
    The thing is, my impression of the Idea of a Paragraph is to separate ideas, I don't see how I could separate anything...

    If you want to put it somewhere else go ahead, we don't want this thread going off topic

  5. #5
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Didums View Post
    The thing is, my impression of the Idea of a Paragraph is to separate ideas, I don't see how I could separate anything...

    If you want to put it somewhere else go ahead, we don't want this thread going off topic
    There's no way I'm reading that.

    Try to think of paragraphs as super sentences.
    wails from the crypt.

  6. #6
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    Okay its in 3 paragraphs now, good luck, lol.

  7. #7
    Senior Member reason's Avatar
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    Didums,

    In five years you should read that essay again.
    A criticism that can be brought against everything ought not to be brought against anything.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by reason View Post
    Didums,

    In five years you should read that essay again.
    Why? Will my mindset have changed since then? It has slightly, but I still think the core idea of what I wrote is still true, I wanted to revise it and clarify some things but it may take too much time.

  9. #9
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    (I've added this post to the OP) And, posts above moved from here.

    I've been meaning to start a thread like this for ages. Didums, I'll erase your essay if you're uncomfortable being the inaugural essay writer.

    We have a bit of a brain trust going on here at MBTIc. I know there are many, many talented individuals in a number of fields who frequent this site. I think it would be cool if folks could post their writing here to have it critiqued/edited. The degree to which it is critiqued/edited can be agreed upon by writer and reader. (In other words, if you're the writer then ask for what you want, and if you're the reader give whatever of what is asked that you feel like giving.)

    I'll move my recent "help me do my job" thread in here at some point, too.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    (I've added this post to the OP)

    I've been meaning to start a thread like this for ages. Didums, I'll erase your essay if you're uncomfortable being the inaugural essay writer.

    We have a bit of a brain trust going on here at MBTIc. I know there are many, many talented individuals in a number of fields who frequent this site. I think it would be cool if folks could post their writing here to have it critiqued/edited. The degree to which it is critiqued/edited can be agreed upon by writer and reader. (In other words, if you're the writer then ask for what you want, and if you're the reader give whatever of what is asked that you feel like giving.)

    I'll move my recent "help me do my job" thread in here at some point, too.
    I'm comfortable with being the inaugural essay writer.

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