There is a thread here about how INTJ and ESFJ get along... and I recently, for the first time in my life, ended a friendship because I could not stand to hang around this person any more.
I believe he was an ESFJ, and we never, EVER were on the same brain-wave.
I don't think I've met any other ESFJs, but would an INTJ interpret their actions as the things below?
He hated my 'lack of style' and how I 'presented myself ' to the world. (Jeans and T-Shirts are my normal attire) I eventually had to tell him that if he ever said one more thing about my appearance, our friendship was over. He *mostly* quit making comments, but would slip things in now and then.
He was constantly upset when I didn't call him all the time... I would literally have 10 calls on my phone in a day from him, even after we'd been friends for about 3 years. He did this to girls he dated as well... and they didn't usually hang around too long. I tried explaining to him that I am just NOT a person who wants to talk on the phone every, single day, but he always took it personally and was offended.
He was EXTREMELY judgemental of anyone he thought was inferior to his intelligence, and voiced it loudly wherever he went. People who didn't agree with his opinions were only those who hadn't thought it through enough, because if they had, they would have surely reached the same conclusion that he did.
He was an avid writer, constantly talking about this book he was writing (which I read parts of for him a few times) but never really motivated to finish it. If he was in a bad mood, he simply couldn't write, because his stories would end up way off track with terrible things happening to characters that he needed :P
He always remembered my birthday... but in the three years that I knew him, he never had one...
More than once, he told me that his 'strong sense of morals' had left him with a crap hand, and considered it almost a horrible affliction that he'd been given to 'do the right thing' when no one else seemed to be trying to do the same. He would be extremely depressed about this.
After a few years of his crazy, one minute elated, the next minute depressed, why-can't-you-see-you're-wrong, why don't you care more about X... I finally blew up and told him to quit calling me. It got to where every conversation we had was like a moral attack on each other.
I really don't know where the line is of how much was interpreted by my own personality clashing with his, and how much of it was him just being damned crazy.