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[ISTJ] Seeking Advice for how to telll an ISTJ Female How I Feel

typexplr

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
1
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum and am looking for some advice on how to communicate feelings to an ISTJ female that I have worked with for the past 2 years. During that time we have grown close, and I think I have feelings for her. It seems to me that she may feel something as well.

I'm starting a new job in January and will no longer be working with her. I would like to tell her how I feel, but she is very conservative and I get the impression that if I told her directly that I may make her uncomfortable.

I was considering writing her a letter/email, and tell her how I feel that way. My question to the ISTJ's here is, do you think this is a good approach? Why/why not? Do you have any advice that could help me out? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
 

SD45T-2

Senior Jr.
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
4,227
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Where the heck is [MENTION=10780]Patches[/MENTION] when you need her?
 

Patches

Klingon Warrior Princess
Joined
Aug 4, 2010
Messages
5,505
Well this is convenient. I'm an ISTJ female who was asked out by a male coworker whom I'd worked with for 6 months. He asked me out the day he put in his 2 weeks notice when he got hired at another company. I live with him now.


I'm not sure if I'm your most conventional ISTJ, but in my situation... I was suspicious that my coworker liked me, but I'm not the type to make the first move. I just did my best to give him subtle hints that I liked him and hoped he'd make a move.

I like directness. Straightforward and practical. You don't have to be suave, you just have to be direct. After he explained that he had put in his two weeks notice, I congratulated him on his new job and told him I was sad that he was leaving, but happy for him. He paused for about 5 seconds, and then just said something like, "Would you like to hang out on Wednesday? We both have it off this week. I could cook dinner, and we could watch a movie or Game of Thrones?"

I think I would view a letter as being too complex, almost. Keeping things simple and nonchalant makes me more comfortable. It would also make me feel anxious about how to respond. Is it awkward if I write a letter back? Is that what I'm supposed to do? Am I supposed to walk up to him and initiate the conversation about it? Well, that's nerve-wracking. The more time you give me to think about something, the more I will send myself into a panic over-thinking it. Don't give me time to ruminate on it. Look me dead in the eyes and give me 5 seconds to decide: Date or no date?

That being said, if you're good friends of 2 years, and she's into you... It's probably going to work out fine no matter how you approach it. So don't tailor it based on MBTI, ISTJ, or anything else. You know her better than 4 letters do. If it's your gut instinct that she would be more comfortable with a letter, you might be right. Don't discount your personal experience.
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
You should tell them directly. Then perhaps give them a lot of space.
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
My ISTJ friend secretly likes her classmate but never lets him know that she is interested in him. Actually, when he tries to talk to her she feels so flustered that she will try to find an excuse to end the conversation asap, so he thinks she hates him...

My point is: the ISTJ is probably not going to show overt interest, so your best bet is to tell her directly. Good luck! :)
 

Kullervo

Permabanned
Joined
May 15, 2014
Messages
3,298
MBTI Type
N/A
Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum and am looking for some advice on how to communicate feelings to an ISTJ female that I have worked with for the past 2 years. During that time we have grown close, and I think I have feelings for her. It seems to me that she may feel something as well.

I'm starting a new job in January and will no longer be working with her. I would like to tell her how I feel, but she is very conservative and I get the impression that if I told her directly that I may make her uncomfortable.

I was considering writing her a letter/email, and tell her how I feel that way. My question to the ISTJ's here is, do you think this is a good approach? Why/why not? Do you have any advice that could help me out? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Join her church. After three services the gullible congregation will have let their guard down - when the time is right use a pretext to lure her to the vestry. Seduce and consummate the relationship in a vicious fashion.

Religious chicks are closet sluts, she'll enjoy it.
 

Patches

Klingon Warrior Princess
Joined
Aug 4, 2010
Messages
5,505
Join her church. After three services the gullible congregation will have let their guard down - when the time is right use a pretext to lure her to the vestry. Seduce and consummate the relationship in a vicious fashion.

Religious chicks are closet sluts, she'll enjoy it.

Sounds like the basis for a long, healthy, mature relationship.

You should write self-help books.
 
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