User Tag List

Results 1 to 7 of 7

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1

    Default Seeking Advice for how to telll an ISTJ Female How I Feel

    Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum and am looking for some advice on how to communicate feelings to an ISTJ female that I have worked with for the past 2 years. During that time we have grown close, and I think I have feelings for her. It seems to me that she may feel something as well.

    I'm starting a new job in January and will no longer be working with her. I would like to tell her how I feel, but she is very conservative and I get the impression that if I told her directly that I may make her uncomfortable.

    I was considering writing her a letter/email, and tell her how I feel that way. My question to the ISTJ's here is, do you think this is a good approach? Why/why not? Do you have any advice that could help me out? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sp
    Posts
    2,761

    Default

    Where the heck is @Patches when you need her?
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  3. #3
    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,312

    Default

    Well this is convenient. I'm an ISTJ female who was asked out by a male coworker whom I'd worked with for 6 months. He asked me out the day he put in his 2 weeks notice when he got hired at another company. I live with him now.


    I'm not sure if I'm your most conventional ISTJ, but in my situation... I was suspicious that my coworker liked me, but I'm not the type to make the first move. I just did my best to give him subtle hints that I liked him and hoped he'd make a move.

    I like directness. Straightforward and practical. You don't have to be suave, you just have to be direct. After he explained that he had put in his two weeks notice, I congratulated him on his new job and told him I was sad that he was leaving, but happy for him. He paused for about 5 seconds, and then just said something like, "Would you like to hang out on Wednesday? We both have it off this week. I could cook dinner, and we could watch a movie or Game of Thrones?"

    I think I would view a letter as being too complex, almost. Keeping things simple and nonchalant makes me more comfortable. It would also make me feel anxious about how to respond. Is it awkward if I write a letter back? Is that what I'm supposed to do? Am I supposed to walk up to him and initiate the conversation about it? Well, that's nerve-wracking. The more time you give me to think about something, the more I will send myself into a panic over-thinking it. Don't give me time to ruminate on it. Look me dead in the eyes and give me 5 seconds to decide: Date or no date?

    That being said, if you're good friends of 2 years, and she's into you... It's probably going to work out fine no matter how you approach it. So don't tailor it based on MBTI, ISTJ, or anything else. You know her better than 4 letters do. If it's your gut instinct that she would be more comfortable with a letter, you might be right. Don't discount your personal experience.
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~
    Likes capslock liked this post

  4. #4
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ESI Fi
    Posts
    3,182

    Default

    You should tell them directly. Then perhaps give them a lot of space.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  5. #5
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,632

    Default

    My ISTJ friend secretly likes her classmate but never lets him know that she is interested in him. Actually, when he tries to talk to her she feels so flustered that she will try to find an excuse to end the conversation asap, so he thinks she hates him...

    My point is: the ISTJ is probably not going to show overt interest, so your best bet is to tell her directly. Good luck!
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  6. #6
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2014
    MBTI
    N/A
    Socionics
    EIE Ni
    Posts
    3,380

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by typexplr View Post
    Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum and am looking for some advice on how to communicate feelings to an ISTJ female that I have worked with for the past 2 years. During that time we have grown close, and I think I have feelings for her. It seems to me that she may feel something as well.

    I'm starting a new job in January and will no longer be working with her. I would like to tell her how I feel, but she is very conservative and I get the impression that if I told her directly that I may make her uncomfortable.

    I was considering writing her a letter/email, and tell her how I feel that way. My question to the ISTJ's here is, do you think this is a good approach? Why/why not? Do you have any advice that could help me out? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
    Join her church. After three services the gullible congregation will have let their guard down - when the time is right use a pretext to lure her to the vestry. Seduce and consummate the relationship in a vicious fashion.

    Religious chicks are closet sluts, she'll enjoy it.

  7. #7
    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,312

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    Join her church. After three services the gullible congregation will have let their guard down - when the time is right use a pretext to lure her to the vestry. Seduce and consummate the relationship in a vicious fashion.

    Religious chicks are closet sluts, she'll enjoy it.
    Sounds like the basis for a long, healthy, mature relationship.

    You should write self-help books.
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~
    Likes SD45T-2 liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTJ] How NOT to Mislead an ISTJ?
    By Bubbles in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 06-03-2015, 03:37 PM
  2. [ISTJ] How to coach an ISTJ?
    By Dizzy in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-04-2010, 03:49 PM
  3. [ISTJ] How not to pursue an ISTJ
    By raz in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 94
    Last Post: 09-15-2010, 12:24 PM
  4. [ISTJ] How much to contact an ISTJ ?
    By skyler in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 12-06-2009, 03:12 PM
  5. [ISTJ] How to make an ISTJ swoon
    By moonbaby in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 11-16-2008, 11:14 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO