This is my first post on this forum, but I'm really interested in MBTI and find that learning more about it helps me better understand the people in my life. OK, so here we go...
I was in a relationship with a 27 year old ISTJ male for 1.5 years. We broke up because he was in law school and stressed, plus our communication styles were off (i'm an INFP and we both tend to internalize our feelings). After 1 year apart with very very little communication, he contacted me to tell me he missed me. We started hanging out again, and have been dating for the last 6 months or so. He's in his last year of law school, but has already secured an amazing job for after graduation.
Last Thursday, he invited me over and we had a casual dinner and night in, after which I spent the night and left early before work. Everything seemed normal. The next day, after texting for most of it, I said something along the lines of "you're very lovable" (this was totally in context to our conversation, not just a random text). We've never said "I love you" before. We continued casual conversation for a few texts until my phone died. The next morning, I told him sorry that I hadn't responded to his last text, and explained my phone dying.
Since then, it's been 4 days since he's contacted me. I wouldn't normally care with any other guy (i'm incredibly easy going), but we used to text throughout the day, every day. I've tried texting him twice with friendly talk, just little things without bringing up the distance or anything emotional, and he answered but didn't carry on conversation or act particularly interested in what I was sharing.
This lack of communication has happened twice before:
1. When we broke up the first time. I ended up asking him to hang out and when we weren't touching I asked what was going on, and he told me he didn't think we should see each other romantically anymore because he's too focused on school and doesn't know where he is going in life.
2. When we got in a small fight a couple months ago, he did this for a whole week before finally texting me and acting like nothing had happened.
In your experience, when do ISTJ's tend to distance themselves? Is this because of school?? Is it because I said he was "lovable" and he got scared? I'm wondering if I should be preparing myself for a breakup, or whether this could just be his way of sorting through his emotions/stress and he might come back around.
I'll let him know how I feel about these silent periods no matter what. I just wonder if I should break it off with him before he string me along for another week of silence just to break it off himself.
Any insight you guys have or suggestions for what I approach this would be so helpful. I'm an INFP, so the fact that he's not thinking about my feelings here is just blowing my mind. THANK YOU!