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  1. #61
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Really useful. I am so grateful for the ability to set my feelings aside, get things done, and pick the feelings back up later. The only problem is that it's hard to motivate yourself to revisit the emotions, especially when once they're out of sight, you might forget about them, or figure they were never a big deal to begin with. And that's when they start to build and build, to the point that when they finally explode, you have no idea where they even came from.
    Over a year later, and the only thing I would change about this post would be to replace the word "explode" with "implode".
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #62
    Senior Member Kheledon's Avatar
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    @Silent Lots of without ... in your case, but I will let you tell your own story in your own time.

    MBTI: ENFJ
    M/B Functional Stack: Dominant--Fe, Auxilliary--Ni, Tertiary--Se, Inferior--Ti
    Ego (Jungian): FeNi
    Socionics: EIE-Fe, Beta
    Socionics Functional Stack: Program--Fe, Creative--Ni, Role--Te, PoLR--Si
    Enneagram Type 1
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    Big Five: SCOEI - sxO|E|i
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    House: Slytherin (the "ethical teacher" type, i.e. Severus Snape)
    Color Code: Blue (intimacy-driven)
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    Sentio ergo sum.
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  3. #63
    Member stone's Avatar
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    I don't repress anything, but that doesn't mean I sit around a drum circle wearing a loin cloth sharing my feelings either.

  4. #64
    Member melomania's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lumi View Post
    I often have a problem with repressing feelings and having delayed emotional reactions to events. I also sometimes have trouble showing my feelings to others even when I'm aware of them.

    I've noticed it's hard for me to get angry at people when I'm actually around them, even when I consciously realize something is unfair or my boundaries have been crossed. Then when I'm alone it will sink in and my anger will flare up, and a lot of it is self-directed for letting myself become this smiling marshmallow/human bean-bag chair.
    I have experienced this for a very long time, but have only become somewhat conscious of this within the last 5-7 years. When something offends me or upsets me, I am not able to express what I am feeling in a coherent fashion until I have stepped away from the situation and processed what just happened. Usually, by the time I have figured out how to express my thoughts, it would feel awkward to bring them up so late and I would feel ridiculous doing it, so I have basically become the most conflict-averse person that I know.

    I grew up in a house where it wasn't really okay to cry (especially for the boys) or to get angry (especially for the girls). I learned to hold everything in and to not let anything out until I was completely alone or until I couldn't hold it in any longer and I would burst into tears when I was alone with my mother. I can't remember a time that I have cried in front of my father since I was 6 years old and he had been diagnosed with leukemia. I always assumed that our behavior was completely normal and that everyone's family was like that until I met my husband, who totally wears his heart on his sleeve, and realized that I had grown up emotionally repressed when it became apparent that I had some serious communication issues when it came to discussing my feelings and needs with him. I spend a lot of time working on improving my social and communication skills, but it is still a struggle for me on most days.

  5. #65
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I cannot imagine a world where one does not feel angry. I have always had a vicious and indignant temper, which I am working on through Christ (and it is working I think).

    But I have heard that it is not uncommon for people who have come from homes where there was a lot of daily turmoil to not feel their anger. For these people they were not allowed their feelings, especially angry ones. So the anger gets suppressed and sublimated. So do the other feelings, but the most obvious one is the anger. As adults, these people will discuss past trauma and even current disappointments in a way that is removed from all anger.

    Not sure if that is the case with y'all. But just mentioning that. Along with this issue, people can also have a hard time knowing themselves--knowing who they are. Because they were always making themselves into someone else. Someone who might not get hurt so badly. So they try on different personas to see what feels right for them.

    The mind is very intricate and amazing. Just as with the body, the mind is able to bandage itself so that it can survive, and its defense mechanisms are endless.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com

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  6. #66
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    It is exceedingly hard for me to repress my emotions. They just sort of spill out. I almost admire people who can put their feelings aside.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
    Released the controls, you would open my eyes
    That somehow, all of this mess
    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
    .

    Mercury - Sleeping At Last

    3w2 // 6w7 // 9w1
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  7. #67
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Default Repression, Suppression, and Expression

    The concept of repression is interesting and useful. Perhaps we might start to understand repression by understanding its opposite, suppression.

    In suppression we are aware of our emotions, so deliberately don't express them.

    In repression we are not consciously aware of our emotions.

    If, for instance, we are being abused as a small child by our parent, we can't express our anger at our parent because we are completely dependent on them for our life. So we hide our anger from our own consciousness, lest we express our anger at our parent and so lose their necessary support.

    Such repressed emotion does not go away but remains unexamined in our unconscious influencing our values and our relationships.

    So in therapy we make the unconscious conscious, and in a safe environment we start to consciously experience our repressed emotions, and examine them in the light of reason.

    Perhaps the important thing to remember is that repressed emotions are not consciously experienced by us. This is why they are so difficult to understand and we need a professional psychotherapist to help us experience, understand, and integrate our repressed emotions.

  8. #68
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The concept of repression is interesting and useful. Perhaps we might start to understand repression by understanding its opposite, suppression.

    In suppression we are aware of our emotions, so deliberately don't express them.

    In repression we are not consciously aware of our emotions.

    If, for instance, we are being abused as a small child by our parent, we can't express our anger at our parent because we are completely dependent on them for our life. So we hide our anger from our own consciousness, lest we express our anger at our parent and so lose their necessary support.

    Such repression emotion does not go away but remains unexamined in our unconscious influencing our values and our relationships.

    So in therapy we make the unconscious conscious, and in a safe environment we start to consciously experience our repressed emotions, and examine them in the light of reason.

    Perhaps the important thing to remember is that repressed emotions are not consciously experienced by us. This is why they are so difficult to understand and we need a professional psychotherapist to help us experience, understand, and integrate our repressed emotions.
    Interesting. So I repressed emotions for 30 plus years.... now I just suppress them in the moment to process at a better time.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984
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  9. #69
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
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    I don't tend to visually show my emotions other than excitement and joy, but I don't bottle up any negative emotions either. I have plenty of outlets for my emotions. My creativity taps into my deepest emotions and allows me to express myself in ways that release them, while still remaining relatively private. If I didn't have this release valve, I could imagine myself becoming very short with people and snap at them about the smallest of things. Repression is bad indeed.

    I used to hold back my emotions far more as a teen since it went against gender norms, but I've gotten to a point where I just say, "screw it!" and just focus on my mental health and needs.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

  10. #70
    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    I used to repress anger emotions other than dealing with them, until they came out like a volcano on some occasions, so I decided to deal with them as soon as they arise..
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3

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