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  1. #41
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    I really do not know how to do that, putting feelings aside to get things done and picking them back up later. I admire anyone who can. I just can't see how my feelings can be such a portable, removable, separate part of me that way. I always constantly consult my heart and if something is done without having my heart put in there, I'd doubt if I ever let things really "done" in a "cosmic" way. Not saying it's easy better that way though.
    It's something that you start to learn out of necessity. Being able to put emotion aside did not come naturally to me and I had to train myself to do it (though some ways it was natural). You're an Fi dom though so it makes sense it would be an alien concept.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
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    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  2. #42
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Story of my life.


    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    I really do not know how to do that, putting feelings aside to get things done and picking them back up later. I admire anyone who can. I just can't see how my feelings can be such a portable, removable, separate part of me that way. I always constantly consult my heart and if something is done without having my heart put in there, I'd doubt if I ever let things really "done" in a "cosmic" way. Not saying it's easy better that way though.
    There's a strength that comes with that approach, that I'll never have. You end up being so familiar with your emotions that they don't really faze you much. In comparison, strong emotions can make me feel like I'm coming unglued -- I'm so used to them not being there at all, that I don't know what the hell is going on when they show up.

    I'm not sure what a good INFP comparison would be. Maybe if all of a sudden you had no feelings at all, or your capacity to feel was reduced to a tiny fraction of what it is now. You'd be completely disoriented -- all your usual ways of doing things would be rendered invalid, and you'd have no way of figuring out what had just happened to you (since your usual way, consulting your heart, would be impossible). It's like that with ExTJs, only with feelings overwhelming our logical decisionmaking ability, seemingly from out of nowhere.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #43
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    Is this thread a troll attempt? Like seriously give some more details...

  4. #44
    This is a test. Sil's Avatar
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    Less of a struggle than it used to be. Still a struggle.

  5. #45
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    People tend to repress emotions that they don't know how to deal with or they come into conflict with their sense of self or reality. If someone identifies as objective and logical, then they will tend to repress emotions that are in conflict with that self image. If someone is religious, they may repress desires that come into conflict with the ideals. When someone sees self as empathetic, they won't acknowledge a feeling in conflict with that self-image, etc.

    Repressed emotions find a way out to be expressed, but it is typically an indirect path, they become sugar coated, disguised, so that they are packaged in a way acceptable to the conscious mind. This is the ripe field for passive aggression, most of which is done unconsciously.

    Edit: The archetypical example of repression is when someone hates, or feels tremendous anger towards, their mother, but they feel guilty or afraid to acknowledge it. Instead they mistreat their wife, who instills no fear, and who never had the power over them that a mother figure could (or reverse the scenario with anger towards a father). That is why people abuse and assault- it is emotional repression. It is rage being misdirected to a "safer" place.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.
    Likes Qlip, cascadeco liked this post

  6. #46
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    I suppressed a lot of emotions due to childhood. It wasn't conscious. I just didn't feel a lot and decided I was a cold thinking type.

    Of course, I expressed plenty of emotions unconsciously, pushing and pulling at others unintentionally.

    Only rarely did I feel anything, except general depression at times. Well, I could feel intense emotions during sex and intense exhilaration other times, but I rarely felt pain and anger and such. I had walled them all off.

    I worked for horrible people when no one else could. I dealt with extremely difficult emotional situations without being touched consciously.

    But I was miserable, because I was living half a life.

    So, back in May I awoke and was hit with 30 years of suppressed emotions. The pain was excruciating. It was like every physical pain I had ever experienced combined multiplied by 100,000.

    These days I try to feel my emotions in the moment. Sometimes I acknowledge them, but don't process them immediately. It works better.
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984

  7. #47
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    To process repressed emotions, I've found it helps to let go of inner constructs of self and reality. Letting go of value judgments of "good" or "bad" emotions, even self concept, etc. makes it easier to see deeper feelings that are painful or at odds with one's thinking. In the end I find one might as well be honest about feelings because they are there no matter what and they come out no matter what. It is easier in the long run to work on being conscious of yourself, so you can make decisions about how to deal with emotions.

    I think I can repress feelings of attachment now because there is a fear that if I recognize how much I care, that then the next step is facing loss. It's not that repressed, but sometimes I feel more detached than is ideal. That detachment is a form of repression. I suppose it can also work to be aware of what is being suppress, and not force it out, but just be honest about it and give the emotion permission to correct itself naturally.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.
    Likes SearchingforPeace liked this post

  8. #48
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    This is something I never did a lot of but I did it enough to where it bothered me for awhile. I may have to put emotions on hold to deal with them later but I will deal with them. But there are things I just don't have emotion about - good or bad. I seem to get more flack from people about that than any type of emotional reaction I may have, delayed or not. Why is it so unbelievable to not feel something about something?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  9. #49
    corona Hawthorne's Avatar
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    I dunno, maybe. Possibly. Probably. More likely than not.

    Actually, no.

    I'm aware of them.

    I just don't know how to communicate.

    Is that the same thing?

  10. #50
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    Why is it so unbelievable to not feel something about something?
    Because you are human. If you don't feel, it is highly likely it is just in your subconscious.

    People used to ask me why I was unfazed by certain things. I realize now I felt the emotions, just didn't acknowledge them consciously.
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984

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