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  1. #31
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Really useful. I am so grateful for the ability to set my feelings aside, get things done, and pick the feelings back up later. The only problem is that it's hard to motivate yourself to revisit the emotions, especially when once they're out of sight, you might forget about them, or figure they were never a big deal to begin with. And that's when they start to build and build, to the point that when they finally explode, you have no idea where they even came from.
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  2. #32
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Really useful. I am so grateful for the ability to set my feelings aside, get things done, and pick the feelings back up later. The only problem is that it's hard to motivate yourself to revisit the emotions, especially when once they're out of sight, you might forget about them, or figure they were never a big deal to begin with. And that's when they start to build and build, to the point that when they finally explode, you have no idea where they even came from.
    Story of my life.
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  3. #33
    Member Jstrazz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hel View Post
    But we should also talk about the former.
    We can in a more philosophical way, but as the nature of Psychological repression suggests, would there be much of anything to talk about personally?

  4. #34
    Member Jstrazz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    The correct word for this is supression of emotion. I know popular culture confuses repression and supression, just as popular culture confuses empathy and sympathy, but this is because popular culture is uneducated.

    If we take our orientation only from popular culture, we get lost. And worse, we don't know we are lost, and we have the illusion we know what we are saying.
    Thank you for the correction.

  5. #35
    eye of the storm magpie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstrazz View Post
    We can in a more philosophical way, but as the nature of Psychological repression suggests, would there be much of anything to talk about personally?
    There might be. It really depends on the person and in what ways their trauma is manifesting itself. Although arguably if the trauma does begin to manifest itself through nightmares or knee jerk reactions to certain stimulus, that means it's pushing itself towards the surface. Like it's still subconcious in that a person doesn't have control other their reactions but a person does begin to realize something is wrong.

    Although I've found that it's impossible to know that you're missing a memory until you remember that it's missed. It's odd because the moment of remembrance isn't even necessarily of the event, it's just the realization that something is missing. And then there might be a bit of recovery of emotional and physical feelings and smells and things tangentially related to the event, but nothing very helpful. Like lots of missing puzzle pieces. And like time didn't exist linearly, so nothing can be put into any sort of order. But it's too difficult to try and puzzle out because thinking about it for too long is self-harming.

    But the thing about it is whether it exists consciously or subconsciously, it is always informing your feelings and actions. It's doesn't exist - it's a whole or a gap, but it's inescapable. And the more it solidifies the less real it gets.
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  6. #36
    Member Jstrazz's Avatar
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    Do you think having a repressed memory (whether you are aware of it or not) would be a factor in whether or not you actively or passively suppress your emotions? Do you think there is some sort of correlation? Maybe the memory does not come back (at least not entirely or swiftly or even coherently) but the subconscious mechanism of repression manifests itself in the form of your suppressing of your everyday emotions (or whatever the frequency)?

  7. #37
    eye of the storm magpie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstrazz View Post
    Do you think having a repressed memory (whether you are aware of it or not) would be a factor in whether or not you actively or passively suppress your emotions? Do you think there is some sort of correlation? Maybe the memory does not come back (at least not entirely or swiftly or even coherently) but the subconscious mechanism of repression manifests itself in the form of your suppressing of your everyday emotions (or whatever the frequency)?
    I think it would affect how you express other emotions... or whether or not you do, I suppose I should say. But I'm not sure it would be the subconcious mechanism of repression that would manifest itself day to day. Obviously I am a subjective viewer of this process and my postulations are therefore narrowed down to what I know, or can assume to follow by my own line of reasoning, but to me repression of a memory is different than emotional repression in that the former is characterized by a lack of control and the latter is characterized by too much control. So I think having repressed memories would make supressing everyday emotions difficult, and would lead to a person feeling like they have an abundance of uneccassary emotion. Although I suppose someone who feels too much might try to get things under control by cutting themselves off from their emotions completely. So it could come full circle.
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  8. #38
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    Repression means that particular thoughts and feelings are hidden from ourselves. And usually they are hidden because experiencing them as small children threatened our survival.

    Unfortunately we often carry these repressed thoughts and feelings into adulthood without examining them.

    But if we do examine them as adults, we find we can now survive as adults even as we experience thoughts and feelings necessarily repressed as small children.

    One of the psychological means of repression is psychological defence mechanisms.

    And this is why mbti is so popular. Mbti is a psychological defence mechanism that gives us a feeling of control and safety at the expense of spontaneous thought and feeling.
    I have to agree with everything you wrote here @Mole, though the heavy baggage that causes repression could be carried from one's either childhood or early adulthood, or along the way.

    OP is an ISTJ, and so this question is going to stick with you as long as you still identify yourself as ISTJ, unfortunately. It's funny but being an INFP, I am often expected to "flourish" with emotions, thoughts and feelings while truth is we INFPs experience and understand emotional repression more than most.
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  9. #39
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Really useful. I am so grateful for the ability to set my feelings aside, get things done, and pick the feelings back up later. The only problem is that it's hard to motivate yourself to revisit the emotions, especially when once they're out of sight, you might forget about them, or figure they were never a big deal to begin with. And that's when they start to build and build, to the point that when they finally explode, you have no idea where they even came from.
    I really do not know how to do that, putting feelings aside to get things done and picking them back up later. I admire anyone who can. I just can't see how my feelings can be such a portable, removable, separate part of me that way. I always constantly consult my heart and if something is done without having my heart put in there, I'd doubt if I ever let things really "done" in a "cosmic" way. Not saying it's easy better that way though.
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  10. #40
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    On this topic, I think a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie, one of my early favorite books says it better than I can, with no fancy words.

    “If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, "All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”

    Those are words from a real person, old and on his way to death, and so they hold accountability to me.

    I have been accused of being cold or detached so quickly. Truth is, when I am there and then, I naturally feel everything so powerfully and do not even try to stop the feelings from invading me, even if that means being extremely happy, or being burned to the ground with pain. But it's surprising how being there feeling it all can lead you to detachment easily after it's all said and done. I was there wholeheartedly, and now I can be here, wholeheartedly.

    I notice the ones who avoid feeling, or put feelings to the back of their mind, or who are not tuned with their emotions tend to hold onto old feelings and regret.
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